Victim to Survivor

by Rai
(New York, USA)

From a very young age I had been made to realize by my parents that I was an unwanted child. My aunt and my brother saved my life by not allowed me to be an abortion. I was constantly reminded of this during my daily beatings because my mother loved to verbally abuse me as well. My father was even more violent than her and would often beat me up after he had beat her up or vice versa. My father tried to kill my mother almost on a daily basis.

He was the silent, strong, and violent type. My mother suffered from domestic abuse and mental problems. My father was an alcoholic and also had mental problems. On one hand my parents were very angry because I was born, but on the other they were thrilled to have something to take out their frustrations on. I became the human punching bag they always wanted.

My parents started beating me from about age 4 and didn't stop beating me until about age 12. They often threatened to kill me during my beatings and made it very clear that if I told anyone about it that they would kill me. I believed them because I knew it was true so I decided to take my beatings like a man. My parents had threatened many people that had tried to get involved and were absolutely fearless. My parents almost killed me several times, but my faith in God kept me alive.

Eventually overtime I became immune to the pain and my daily beatings became an accepted part of my life. I had a very hard time growing up not only because of the abuse, but also because I was discriminated against from a very young age. I had trouble making friends and as a result I was often alone.

I have come to realize that I exist in this world because of God. He is the reason why I was born and why I was able to survive. Any other child would have been killed or killed themselves. I have come to terms with my abuse and it no longer affects me in a negative way. I want to use my experiences to raise awareness and help other survivors.

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