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Nov 22, 2013
 Hayley:
by: Anonymous

It is perfectly normal for you to feel as you do. Don't ever question that about yourself. Here's the thing about forgiveness that most people don't understand: It's not for the other person, the one who abused you or the ones in the family who keep harping on the fact that you should forgive. Forgiveness if for YOU. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the prison you're in. Forgiveness does not say what your abuser did was okay. It wasn't okay and will never be okay. Forgiveness says that I will no longer allow you to control my life. I will no longer give up my power to you. Because you see, Hayley, when you don't forgive, the person who abused you will always have the power and control h/she stole from you. Now don't misunderstand. Forgiveness does NOT mean that you will have a loving relationship with the abuser. Which is likely what your mother expects. Forgiveness simply lets go of the idea that things could be any different. So even if you do forgive your brother, it likely won't be on your mother's terms. Her demands are a completely different thing. And that will require a different confrontation altogether because she expects you to open your arms to your brother as a condition of forgiveness, as a condition of what she expects her family to be. But this isn’t about her. It’s about you. Please read my blog post Forgiveness is for You for more information. As always, I send you love, light and healing energy, Hayley. http://blog.child-abuse-effects.com/2013/08/forgiveness-is-for-you.htmlThank you for sharing more of your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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