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May 22, 2015
 Annie:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Your counselor is right. Your father was/is physically abusive and your mother was/is emotionally abusive. Both are terribly misguided in multiple ways.

And though I understand your "satisfaction" at your molesting brother getting caned by your mother for his sexual abuse of you, what she did to him is disturbing. Beating someone for their actions, even the actions that are criminal, may seem to dissuade the behaviour in the future, but likely only makes it even more secretive. Your brother hasn't touched you again and for that, of course you're grateful but in all likelihood, he is molesting, or will molest, other children. Your mother didn't solve the problem, she kept it quiet. And by keeping it quiet, under wraps, the problem will perpetuate. There will be more victims.

I do hope you are still seeing the counselor for your own healing. And I do hope you'll begin to see that self-harm is self-abuse. That you are taking the torch from your parents, especially your father, and physically abusing your beautiful body. And yes, your body IS beautiful. To hate your body is to blame your Self for all that you have endured. And you are NOT to blame.

Start treating your Self with the dignity, respect and self-love you deserve. Don't take a page from your parents' guidebook. Write your own. Just because they've mistreated you doesn't open the door for YOU to mistreat you. Or for others to mistreat you. You deserve so much better than what you are receiving.

You're tired of it all. That's understandable. So use that tired of it all in a way that is purposeful. Not in a suicidal way, but rather, in a way that can help both you and others who have gone through something similar. Make what you have endured have purpose. In that way, there can be an abundance of healing.

I send you love, light and healing energy, Annie. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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From Victim to Victory
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