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Oct 31, 2014
 To Loving Father:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

The system throughout the USA, Canada and other countries all too often do not act in the best interest of the child. This is the case, not only with mothers, but with fathers as well. Children at risk are ordered back with their abusers, because the judiciary chooses to ignore the evidence or is more interested in giving the abuser their rights than they are in giving children the right to live free of abuse. Despite what so many believe, children do not really have rights.

No home is perfect. There are challenges no matter who the child lives with. But as long as the judges in the courts continue to protect those who can protect themselves rather than the children they are supposed to be responsible for protecting, more children will continue to be horrifically abused. And though such cases remain more of a "family" issue today because the child is still a child, it will be a societal issue tomorrow, when the child becomes an adult and the effects of the abuse rears it's truth on other hapless and helpless victims. Effects that oftentimes means the cycle of abuse continues, much like it probably has with this child's mother.

I feel the helplessness in your voice, forced by an uncaring system to watch by the sidelines as your child is forced live in known and what amounts to sanctioned abuse. What you must do now is be the rock in your child's life. Teach him through example whenever possible. Do not denigrate his mother, much as you might want to. Tell him everything that is good about him and reinforce that whenever possible. Be there as a support for him, but not as a leaning post. In other words, teach him to stand in his own strength...he's sure getting lots of practice given the circumstances he's living under. His mother is deeply troubled, but not all women are like her, so whenever you can, show him that fact so he doesn't grow up hating and mistreating women. And mostly, don't give up. There may well come a time when your son will have the opportunity to make a different choice for himself...and if he does, support all the choices he makes that are healthy. I send you all love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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