Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Vesper

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Aug 12, 2011
 Vesper:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You don't ever have to worry about anyone on this site blaming you for the sexual abuse or the sexual assault or saying that you could have done something different. This is not that kind of site. You can feel safe here. This site is all about being heard and being safe to share. It's also about offering supportive and encouraging comments.

You are NOT to blame, so please stop blaming yourself. You did not "let this happen" to you. Blame lies squarely on the shoulders of the offenders, because they chose to offend. This is all on THEM, Vesper, not on you. You were victimized. Your youth and vulnerabilities were taken advantage of. Don't ever blame yourself.

You CAN know happiness—believe that—but you must get help for your Self. Not all men are like these two sex offenders. There are very decent and good men out there. I don't know what resources are available to you where you live. Perhaps there's a woman's organization you can contact for support and counselling. Always remember that you didn't deserve to be abused or assaulted. You certainly deserve help for the fact that you were. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach.
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
Talk Before Touching® Series
Aug 12, 2011
 Little Girl Lost
by: Anonymous

Dear Vesper: I'm so sorry to hear what you went through. It sounds so similar to what happened to me. Darlene is right. I pray that you know that you "didn't start anything". For years, I believed the same thing. I've been in councelling for quite sometime now and have a good therapist I can trust. I hope you can do the same thing. Please take Darlene's advise. She's a terrific woman! I'm so glad I did. Vesper, just remember that you are a great person and someone took something away from you that they had no right to take. It's never your fault. Take care and I wish you the best. My prayers are with you. A fellow survivor.
Aug 13, 2011
 I can't imagine anyone ( That man was animal) Not Human
by: maurice

Vesper: I AM NOT TO BLAME for what this beast did to me in my innocence, my vunerability, my age: Darlene sure has given you re-assuring, heart loving words of love, support, help, encouragement, affirmation, and a sure way to get on with living your life to the full: One sure way is to seek out some form of therapy/counselling: Have a real and true friend your own age and gender: Vesper we all need a friend or two and you are no exception: Act on Darlene's comment: while pondering and making a true sense of yourself: Who am I ? say I AM and believe it:
Amazing: The architect of my own destiny:
Beautiful: Both inside and out:
Courageous: Willing to take chances.
Dynamic: Ever changeing ever Growing.
Enthuastic: About living and loving life.
Intuitive: Looking for answers within.
Joyful: Grateful for all that is.
Kindhearted: Reaching out to others.
Lovable: Exactly as I am.
Optimistic: Anything is possible.
Powerful: Beyond imagination.
Resourceful: Obstacles are stepping stones:
Spiritual: Having a human experience
UNIQUE>>>>And UNREPEATABLE
Have a healthy mind in a healthy body Vesper:
Get out there being active and alive with others your own age and gender taking part in Team Sports and sporting and cultural activities: I guarantee you will be feeling great after a few times together: You have gifts; You have Tallents; I am certain you have leadership qualities to share all of these with others and especially your team mates: Stay in Education: Respect and value your body: You'll be gentle and kind with yourself and it: Love the me looking out at you from the mirror: Make beautiful that which that beast destroyed when he sexually abused you: Darlene wants what is best for you: I am certain you will say I want what is best for me: Act on her advice: I'll be the winner over that beast: I'll prove there is a life to be lived to the full after being abused: Darlene and now her large family/community of vistors empatise with you and believe that it is possible: NOW TODAY:
Aug 20, 2011
 THANK YOU
by: Anonymous

thank you all for your encouragement and motivating words... i am only 20.. and i know i have a whole life to live and be happy...and i will be..thank you once again

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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