Relationship Violence Story From Jasmine

by Jasmine
(Michigan, USA)

I'm really nervous about writing this but I have to get it off my chest. I've been in and out of abusive relationships my whole life and shortly after I sent my abusive ex to jail I met a wonderful guy named Mike. He was caring and affectionate and never made me feel worthless. About two weeks in he started displaying subtle signs of jealousy. I didn't pay them any mind until we got into an arguement and he grabbed me by my neck so hard I couldn't breathe. He was yelling at me and calling me names and told me that if I ever told anyone or called the cops on him he would hunt me down and slit my throat. Since then, hes punched me in my head, slammed it against the wall while choking me and burned me with a lighter, twice. Also, we have sex whenever he wants whether I want to or not. I was crying once and begging him to stop but he wouldn't. I don't fight back because it makes things worse and hes way stronger than me. Hes 29 and has no kids ( I have two) and wants some. I'm scared to have his child, but I know eventually he'll get tired of my delaying with excuses and make me have one. I know he doesn't cheat or anything and would be a good father, but I'm scared of him. No one knows about what he does to me because honestly I'm ashamed that I keep ending up in abusive relationships. Everytime it happens hes remorseful and makes me feel like a princess til the next time we argue about something and hes been drinking. Sober he'd never do it. I have scratch marks, bruises, and my back and side hurt right this second because last night we got into an argument about his facebook and he pounded me with a pillow, threw his and my phone at my head, choked me and held me down. I do love him and want to be with him, but he needs to stop drinking. Idk what to do honestly, I just needed to vent. Thank you for reading my story