Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Bety

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Mar 22, 2009
 Excellent message!
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Bety, your message is such an important one for others to pay heed to. I am SO glad you talked to your parents; they are the first line of defense for any person who finds themselves in this situation. Shame should NEVER enter into the picture when it comes to violence in your life. Shame and guilt must be overcome in order to seek out the support one needs. And must be understood is that there is no shame or guilt on the victim's part. Shame and guilt lies solely on the abuser. You simply got trapped in the cycle of abuse.

The fear you still feel is one that is understandable. After all, this boy threatened and harmed you already. Yes, time can be helpful, but so can having someone to talk to about what you are still feeling. Consider talking to your mother about this, Bety. She's already been a tremendous support for you during this difficult time, and she could be again. Turning to her was the most loving thing you could have done for yourself. I applaud that you had the courage to turn to her.

The next step is to stop what I call the "should haves" and "should not haves". It's one thing to learn from your mistakes, but it's quite another when you keep saying to yourself "I should have done this" or "I should not have done that", because all that does is leave you stuck questioning what you did or did not do. That is not the healthiest way to move forward. What happened happened; there is nothing you can do to change any of it. Accepting what happened to you instead of telling yourself you shouldn't have stay with him, or that you should have left long before is critical to moving forward with your life.

By the same token, you've done a great service by sharing your story here. By doing so, you will likely prevent another victim from experiencing what you experienced. That's turning pain into power, Bety.

I don't personally know of any resources available to young people such as yourself in Mexico, but if there is something available, I suggest you take advantage of what's out there for you.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. And just for the record, your English and grammar were very good.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach.
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
Talk Before Touching® Series
Mar 24, 2009
 great you shared your story
by: maurice

Well done, you are brave, you are strong, Mothers are saviours of their children and 80% are true loving caring, honest to goodness real mammies to the children boys/girls. The bond between a mother in child is the most natural in all the world. You knew that and you listened to your Mother. Very few do wrong for their children. Only sometimes their Husband or so Call Daddy is the main one that domintaes their minds to do and say the wrong thing when they do the abuse to the innocent and vunerable child. To break from your abusive boy friend. partner was one very brave move on your part. There's nicer men than that out there for you who will genuinely be your friend and will love and rspect the beautiful woman/person you are. Listen to your Mammy she will build up your self worth and esteem. I only hope the many women I know who go back and back again to abusive men in their lives could and would be as brave as you. your english expressed your pain/hurt/fear after effects brilliantly. Thank you.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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