Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Alexis

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Nov 23, 2011
 Alexis:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

This boy is the typical abuser, and you got caught up in the cycle of violence. Everything you described is exactly what happens when one is caught in the cycle. The honeymoon period, where he buys you flowers and apologizes, is not love at all. It's a phase in the cycle. This boy is not capable of love at this point in his life. He's only capable of controlling and manipulating. He's deeply troubled, but you can't help him. He needs to get help for himself. You are in danger if you do go back to him. Your mother is right about him. And the fact that your friends don't understand what happened is because of the isolation you began to experience as a result of his control. Don't ever allow yourself to be isolated from family and friends. Tell everyone why you broke up with him. Don't be ashamed, because you have nothing to be ashamed of. Consider contacting the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) if you find yourself with him again or if you need some resources. They have advocates available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week who can provide crisis intervention, escape planning, information and referrals to victims or anyone calling on their behalf. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: http://www.ndvh.org/

You're worthy of being treated with dignity and respect, Alexis. The fact that you broke up with him tells me that your still believe that. Always believe that, because it's true. Love doesn't hurt. Love isn't smothering. Love never involves fear. At 18, don't worry that you won't find anyone. It's that mindset that may well put you at further risk for choosing another abuser. Treat your Self with dignity and respect first and foremost, Alexis. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach.
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
Talk Before Touching® Series
Apr 20, 2012
 scary!!
by: Anonymous

This is what scares me the most about dating. You never really know how a guy's going to be until you two start a relationship. I'm glad you're ok, Alexis. Let us know how you're doing!

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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