Comments for Purposely wedging underwear: Is it a sign of sexual abuse?

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Jun 15, 2008
 Calming your fears...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Tammy, there are other explanations for the behaviour your son is exhibiting, explanations that are not the least bit sinister. Signs, such as the one you have asked about, must be taken in combination with other signs that might point toward abuse before anyone can ascertain whether or not abuse has or is taking place. When children purposely pull up their underwear tight to their private parts it can be simply because it actually feels good to them. Children, even very young children, are sexual beings. It is not unusual for them to experiment and "play" with their private parts.

Another possibility with your son is a little delicate... he may be "itchy" at the rectal area from bacteria due to not wiping himself properly after visiting the washroom. He may require some medical attention to alleviate any swelling or infection that may have developed in that area. Ointment might be required, as well as some additional emphasis on proper toileting habits. Just so you know, it is quite common for little boys to not wipe themselves properly, as can be seen in their dirty underwear (commonly referred to as "skid marks").

In short, Tammy, I cannot say with any degree of certainty that your son has or has not been sexually abused. Nor can I make that determination regarding you and your sister. I would have your son checked out by your paediatrician. A doctor would be better able to provide you with information after an examination. At this point, stay calm and breathe easier. While you must stay vigilant as your son's mother, very often, what we as adults believe are the signs of abuse are simply signs of something else entirely.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Dec 03, 2010
 holes in stepsons underware
by: Anonymous

My stepson is 16 , he was molested at 13 , his uncle, ,why do all of his underware have holes in them? He says his dog eats them,I think something weird is going on with his dog , and his underware, while he is wearing them. These are my suspitions.

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