Comments for Pressuring a child to excel in class by hitting/whipping

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Feb 08, 2008
 A possible learning disability...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Elisa, your son may have a learning disability that prevents him from learning in the way he is being taught. He should be tested.

But besides a learning disability, you said your son transferred from a low educational school into an advanced one. Perhaps he isn't yet equipped to handle the advanced studies being required of him. Your husband may be requiring more of him than your son can produce at this time. Perhaps he needs tutoring and extra attention when it comes to his studies—POSITIVE attention; not negative.

Six-year-old children can and WILL act the way your son is acting when they find the learning difficult and/or when they are dealing with abuse at home. Whipping him will not help him; it will hinder him and teach him all the wrong lessons. He needs positive reinforcement. He needs to know that you and his father love him EXACTLY the way he is, no conditions. Because right now, he believes that your love IS conditional; conditional upon his excelling in school, which he may not be able to do.

Yes, there must be standards set for your son; children need boundaries and limits. And yes, there must be discipline. But standards and limits and discipline must be fair and take into account your son's age and stage of development. Discipline does not mean striking your son; discipline means teaching him the lessons he needs to know in order to become a well-rounded and contributing adult, using appropriate consequences.

You know your son, Elisa. Ask yourself, what he likes to do. Make whatever he likes to do contingent on adequately completing his homework. If he acts out in school or behaves poorly, then take a privilege away. Make him earn back those privileges, one by one, with appropriate behaviour. But he must know that he can indeed earn back those privileges, otherwise he will learn unfair treatment and more of the lessons that whipping taught him. Reprogramming your way of parenting is paramount to the healthy mental development of your son.

I do not know what resources are available in Belize. Nor do I know your laws or your customs, traditions or way of life. I do not know how women are viewed in Belize. But I do believe you love your son, Elisa, and as such, you must find a way to get through to your husband. Your son's mental health hangs in the balance and so does the future mental health of your unborn child.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Feb 08, 2008
 save your son
by: REBECCA THOMAS

Then you need to divorce of get away from him because for one he can hurt that child and if he does then what are you going to have to explain to the police what happened and if he loved you he wouldn't hurt your son so you need to call the police even if you still love him.


sincerly
Rebecca Thomas and I am 13 LOL
Jul 12, 2010
 My personal opinion~~!!!!!
by: Alina Shaikh

Dearest Emily... looks like u have already faced alot... well dnt waste more time on facing new, unexpected things... ur son is small...he's only 6, hitting and torchuring ur child will not only spoil him, but indeed give him a chance to hate u both~!
Let time pass...u'll soon realize that what ur husband does is not the only solution towards this misery...
At first, u shud try to explain ur husband of the wrongdoing he's up to.... but evenmore, if he still doesnt listen, my advice, giv him a divorce and take ur child away frm him
Only a mother cud feel the pain of her child...!!!

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