Plagued With Memories

by Anonymous Teen
(Location Undisclosed)

I honestly don't remember much of my childhood. I was so deep in depression that it's all a blur. I do remember some things and the things I remember make it harder to live like a teenager. I should be able to hang out with my friends without the fear of one of them getting too close and touching me. I should be able to have a boyfriend. I should be able to live a normal life as a 14-year-old. But instead I'm plagued with painful memories.

The first memory of abuse happened was one I was 7. I had just made my first real friend. I was going over to her house to have a sleepover. I was happy for once. I remember getting to her house and her brother was there. He was way older than me but still in high school. I was in her room trying to fall asleep and she was still up watching tv in the living room. Right before I fell asleep her brother came into her room. I don't know if he thought I was asleep or if he just didn't care. He took off the covers and began touching me. He just touched me but didn't rape me yet. I still felt gross though. I knew that people weren't supposed to touch you till you were older and that it should be someone you love.

Every time I went over to her house he would do the same thing. He would just touch me. He once even took a few pictures. The fact that he took pictures might've been the worst. Because when I learn what child pornography was I cried and cried but still didn't tell anyone. I know that some disgusting person could be looking at those pictures of me right now.

Then a few years later I went to a camp reunion. One of the male staff that worked there followed me into a coat closet and began touching me. I was too afraid to go to camp next year because he would be there. So yeah. There is some more stuff but I'm going to continue to keep that to my self.

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