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Feb 28, 2017
 To Rachel:
by: Darlene - Webmaster

I know you submitted your story quite some time ago. I've been dealing with eye issues that have made reading online a major problem. My apologies for taking so long to post.

Those who say "forgive and you'll forget" are full of it. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting; abuse is seldom forgotten. Forgiveness means that you will no longer be a prisoner, attached to the person who did you wrong. Forgiveness is freeing yourself from that prison, it's not giving a pass for what they did or giving you a way to get rid of it from your mind. It happened...nothing will change that.

Rachel, you were groomed by your friend's dad. He took advantage of your youth and vulnerabilities, then so did others. You were at risk for further abuse because of the first time, because you had no power or control over the situations.

You're now a young woman, a young woman who can finally take the reins of power for herself. And the first healthy choice would be to find some form of therapy or counselling to help you deal with the aftermath, as well as help you to define boundaries that will keep you safe. You didn't deserve to be abused by any of those abusers. You DO deserve to move forward from this, and that starts with you making the decision to find the help you need.

I send you love and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Mar 01, 2017
 I get it
by: Anonymous

Thanks for telling your story. I too was sexually molested orally by my brother and fell into patterns of abuse from age 7 on. I dont have the answer for you, but I understand what you are going through. I am 63 years old and still remember my childhood well. I have forgiven and have been wonderfully married for 28 years. I took my older sister to heart who told me to 'marry someone who is happy` and that I cannot treat anyone like my parents treated each other'. That was the BEST advice anyone could have given me.
when you have had ALL your boundaries totally blurred from early sexualizaation, it is nearly impossible to establish healthy boundaries. I GET that.
Let the angels guard and keep you.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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