Comments for Ongoing Abuse

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Jun 06, 2017
 To N.Z.
by: Darlene Barriere - Healing Coach

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. It is so challenging to live inside abuse, and even more so when the abuse is at the hands of a parent, someone we depend on. Someone responsible for loving us, but chooses instead to act in a way that sends the message that we are hated. I've been there, N.Z. I do know what that feels like. What's important is that you never lose sight of the fact that you ARE lovable and worthy. I learned that when others weren't giving me what I needed, I had to find a way to give it to myself. I know that's not fair and not the way it's "supposed to be". But if that is your reality and you have nowhere to turn, turn inward. Do not allow the messages of hate and unworthiness dictate your value. I send you love and healing energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www. child-abuse-effects. com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Aug 08, 2017
 Ongoing abuse
by: Anonymous

I am an unloved daughter also. My mother hated me & my father said I wasn't his. My mother physical & emotionally abused me. She enlisted my siblings to join in to turn me into the family scapegoat. My stepfather molested me because he knew he could get away with it. He dared me to tell my mother. He said you will be out on your ear. He was right. When I finally got the nerve to tell her she backhanded me. Through me out at 14. I am 52 years old now and the abuse has affected me in all areas of my life. I trust no one. My advice to you is seek help now! Do not allow the abuse to continue!
Sep 07, 2017
 Leave
by: Keith

I put up with over a decade of abuse both mentally and physical. At the age of not yet 15 I left that abusive pr**k for pulling my hair then challenging me to fight. I decided that the next time I get punched in the face it was not going to be from my father.

He is a terrible man did things like whipping or beating with what ever was at hand, I've been slapped, punched in the face jabbed with forks whacked on the knuckles with a butter knife. He kicked me down the stairs while his wife stood beside him, neither ever said a word to me about it-no sorry, oops, nothing. I hate that pr**k and he had the balls to say" my brothers did good and he's proud, my sister did good and he was proud". They were already gone before it got real bad. I can't shake this overwhelming urge to bring abuse charges on him.

I could write a book on abuse, maybe I will. But my advice is to leave now even if it hurts and it will for years. I have been estranged from all of my family for 40 years but it took that to move on. Yesterday I had my 24th anniversary with my wife, that's what I needed to move on.

Good luck with life, find someone that understands.
Oct 21, 2017
 I'm sorry to say ty.
by: d.r.dark water

I'm truly sorry you are suffering.but I'm so great full you have the courage to reach out.at your age in my life there was no internet.suffering in silence or being labeled in very unflattering ways were my only perception of dealing w what had happened to me.i truly thank god for people like you who find the courage to share and thus help people like me(I'm older)to finally understand.it is not your fault.it was not mine.the shame is not ours,it's theirs.please don't give up.your sharing of your pain so honestly has given a total stranger hope.i pray you and I and everyone gets to know comfort,safety,and peace.god bless you.and once more,ty
Nov 28, 2017
 Me too, me too.
by: Anonymous

I am the same age. I turned 16 this year. My dad has been emotionally abusive to my mom for a long time. And to my siblings and I. I never noticed it, because to me it was normal. Until I realized that other families didn’t act this way. My dad has physically abused me a few times and my mother a couple too. He has came close to hitting/choking me many more though. He has almost killed my mom a few times. My parents finally get divorced (for like the 3rd time). And I’m actually glad. But the emotional abuse is still going on at my dads. :(. When I was about 14/15 I fell for this guy. And I know people think teens our age can’t fall in love with someone. But I truly loved him. But then he started showing signs of abuse. Though me and him never hung out (we dated for almost a year but his mom is VERY strict), I was scared of him when I was around him at school. I constantly worried I would make him mad and he would hurt me, because he started to mentally abuse me. He would get mad at me for not sending him "pictures " even if I didn’t feel well, even if I didn’t want to. So I was forced to please him so he wouldn’t get mad at me. Things stayed this way for a long time until I really realized it, and left even though it killed me. He really is a great person. But he wasn’t good in a relationship. I still suffer to this day & still have anxiety attacks from it, and from my dad. I don’t know what to do about the flashbacks and the memories. I still ask my current boyfriend if he’s mad at me over dumb stuff, I still apologize for nothing. And my current boyfriend is nothing like my ex or my dad:(

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From Victim to Victory
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