Not Really Real

by Nancy
(Ohio, USA)

I quit being a real person when I was 5 years old. I remember it. I started pretending I was a cartoon and nothing hurt me, like the coyote on Roadrunner; and for 20 years, nothing did. But it all fell out of the "closet." I had stuffed it into in my brain. I always kept it, but I put it in an "old trunk" on the top shelf of my "closet."

Then I had an incident with my husband's grandfather. Some would say he was just a dirty old man, but he started flashing his private parts at me and saying sexually vulgar things to me. He told me about seeing me through the peep hole of my room and what a beautiful pussy I had and he wanted to love that pussy. He'd grab me and not let go. I shattered into a million pieces.

I didn't even remember about the sex when I was little. It was in my "closet," but he made it fall out and I can't get it put back up there. I don't know what to do about all of it. What am I suppose to do?