No Longer a Victim

by Elizabelle
(Arkansas, USA)

I am a victim of all three types of abuse. It all started just over a year ago. On May 4th 2013 I met B--. I still regret going to meet him that day. When I got there we hung out in a group of mutual friends. One of them asked me the question that changed everything. He asked me if my father was still hitting me. I sighed and told him that he was and things were getting worse. Apparrently B-- overheard me because he pulled me off to the side and told me if what i said was true then i wasnt going home to my dad ever again. he wanted me to go live with him. i told him i cant, that my father would kill me if he found out. but that wasnt the case. my father actually packed my stuff for me and left it on the porch and locked the door on me. things went pretty good for the first 3 weeks. but then we moved to his brothers house and i found out he was a 26 year old Crip and he was a 3 time felon for battery and assult. i was barely 18 at the time. i had no idea how to react. so i tryed to be smart and break up with him. he said no. can you believe that? he refused to let me leave him. i mean this guy barely knew me. that night he desided he wanted to have sex with me. i told him no and that i wasnt ready to go to that level and he just laughed and said thats too bad and he threw me on the bed and raped me until i was bleeding. i cryed all night on the couch. in the morning his brother came in there and told B-- that he did a great job from all the yelling he heard the night before. in that moment i knew i was in trouble. i was in a mad house. that very same day he moved his ex into our place (we moved out that afternoon) she slept in our bed with us and he always ****ed her first then he called for me and rape me. everyday id try to figure out a way to get away. but every time hed threaten my life and my familys lives. eventually She got away and he let her go. but after She left he started hitting me too telling me it was my fault she left and that i was a worthless piece of sh*t and calling me a b***h. i found out he was smoking Meth behind my back and that was where all our money was going. i started drinking Vodka i became an addict at 18 years old. eventually we moved down south where my mom was and got our own place in my hometown. thats where he messed up. he punched me in the face and broke my cheekbone and blacked my eye. my mom showed up and saw what happened to me and she called my Stepfather (hes a city cop) but before they got there B-- put a loaded gun to my head and told me if i didnt get in the car he was going to kill me and my baby sister who was only 5 months old at the time. the only thing that saved my life is the fact that i looked him dead in the eyes and told him to pull the trigger. at that time in my life i wanted to die. he could tell i was serious and he laughed, slapped me accross the face and said no, im going to keep you alive just to make you mirsable. we drove off without telling anyone anything and he threw my phone out the window so i couldnt tryn to get help. he kidnapped me. we got back to his brothers and he shot up some more Meth and raped me again. i had finally had enough. on November 4, 2013 i snuck out and borrowed a strangers phone and called my mom and told her EVERYTHING we made plans to get me out. the next week i asked to go see my dad to visit my brothers and B-- let me sence he was going to work. my mom was waiting for me and packed my stuff and we left. i havent heard from him sence. i have a resraining order on him and i refuse to go back to that city. last i heard he got marryed and shes got kids. i also left my moms house. i feel as though i dont belong anywhere so i am now a proud Job Corps student so im safe but im still tramtized. my boyfriend has to deal with my corupted mind and my problems. but at least he loves me. hes a Soldier and hes my protecter. i might be messed up but at least im on the road to recovery. soon i wont be a victim but i will be a surviver <3