Comments for Molested for 8 Years

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Jun 09, 2014
 David:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

It is not unusual for children to be sexually abused by multiple abusers. But it isn't the child fault. Molesters look for children who are somewhat despondent, children who are loners or seem troubled. These are vulnerable children, and the molesters (such a sanitized word, molesters; they're sexual predators) seek out children who are vulnerable, then they take advantage of those vulnerabilities. Your parents failed you, and set you up for further abuse, perhaps because they were ill-equipped to deal with the situation as so many parents are. It's also important to understand that it is perfectly natural and quite normal for a male victim to experience an erection, even an orgasm when being sexually abused (when they are anxious, nervous or scared). Abusers know this about their young male victims, then often use that against them, which brings on even more guilt and confusion. You are not abnormal, David. I would venture to say that your preferences have been imprinted as a result of what you endured. Please stop blaming yourself. You did what you needed to do in order to cope and survive. That doesn't make any of it your fault. Fault lies squarely on the shoulders of the abusers. It's what you do now that's critical. I urge you to seek some form of therapy, some form of healing modality in order to help you walk a healing path. You certainly deserve that. I send you love, light and healing energy, David. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Jun 12, 2014
 David,
by: AnonymousT

Everything you're thinking and feeling is normal after years of abuse that you haven't healed from yet.

It was normal for them to let them finish because you didn't have those boundaries established to fight them off - that was skewed when you were 8.

It's normal to find release in gay porn because that is the experience you had. If you are heterosexual, this is a common side effect of being abused by the same sex. If you are homosexual it can cause confusion because you don't know where the attraction is coming from.

What now? I hope healing. You are YOUNG. This is the time for you to work through the things that were done to you. You didn't ask to be hurt, you were simply there & they were predators. You didn't deserve this. Now, you can take back your power and heal. Please look for a therapist, preferably outside of the corp....if you don't feel it's a fit...look for a new one. Sometimes it can take time to find the right therapist.

The Courage To Heal is a book I really liked. Maybe you can read before you begin on your journey...or maybe if you're busy with the military it can fill the time.
Also, keep a journal. It can be online if you worry about anyone reading it. Secure with a password. Journal your thoughts and feelings. It can be so therapeutic to get it OUT where we can SEE it.

I hope this helps. I wish you healing and strength.
T
Jul 01, 2014
 Childhood Horrors
by: Robert W

The fact that your strong enough to talk and to be so open is great ,ive been through the same typ of feelings and yes I often wonder who I am while I was groing up at teenage life ,being abused by other men is awefull and we are the ones to deal with the side effects.

I my self have been with many man as a child an I took this to my youhg adult life ,living in Toronto I survived the streets by going with gay men to get out of the cold ,and at the same time I was in more aroused by woman than men,i wasent strong enogh to be with girls in case they might find out my child hood,.

My self I had hard times understandin my own feeling ,and tried too kill my self also,i actuly shot my self and as you know I suirvived,,and I went through this for years in my adult life ,and I would abuse my self by giving me black eyes by pounding on my face for 30 minuts every time I felt bad ,I done this kind of stuff for years ,

And the worst of it was I had no saportby my family cause they all were also abusive and abused his own daughters,

get to my point I learned through the help of many doctors tohelp understand what I liked or dident like,i like men and I like woman ,as I am now I have been with this wonderfull woman for 26 years one day at a time ,and she understands me completely.i was never my fault for being messed up, ,

But now it was up to me to figure out for my self who and what I like today with no force, feeling for other men I just don't do it this no more ,that's my choice,and is the right choice.

but to kill my self I would never try it again cause nothing in this world is worth death no matter what or how bad you feel,treat your self with respeck and you will love you one day at a time buddy, thanks for shareing ,the best to you for ever
Jul 06, 2014
 So relieved to find your story
by: Boy01

I been going to this site for almost 4 months now, and your story is somewhat similar to mine. I know exactly what you meen when it comes to feeling confused. I sometimes get that way too. First off, thank you so much for serving our great country. I know you are a strong man now and you'll be ok. I know that deep down when you have suicidal thoughts, you don't really want to die, you just want to escape. I havent been able to find the courage to post my story here, but reading yours gave me that push motivation to do it. So i will consider sharing.Thank You. Please son just keep your head up high. The past may still hurt, but the past is not who you are anymore. Live your life to the fullest, forgive your past and love yourself. Be safe. I'll always be here

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