Comments for Memories I Never Had

Click here to add your own comments

Feb 29, 2008
 Refuse to Accept Blame
by: Linda Settles

Jennifer, you are very brave to be able to talk about what happened. Maybe you don't remember everything, but you are facing the truth that you have--and when we do that more will come--it always does.
What you went through was terrible-something no child should every have to experience. And I can tell that you have sympathy for the boy who was so abused, too. I hope you know that you are not responsible for what happened to you, or to the boy. You were a child. A child in pain and terrible hurt and confused. No one knows what we would have done, but whatever you did--it was not your fault. You AND the boy were the victims of sick twisted individuals who were bigger and stronger than both of you.

I know this is hard to do--but you have to let it go. That will not happen in a day, and it may take a long time to completely release the 'what ifs' and move on--but that is what you have to do. One day at a time, one memory at a time, one pain at a time.

Trust the process of recovery, trust a Power Higher than yourself to get you through it, and trust yourself--you are strong, and brave, or you would not have written as you have.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Mar 01, 2008
 vile
by: Anonymous

how digusting
Mar 01, 2008
 Rescuing is ingrained in us...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Jennifer, this is a question of the ages; a version of "what if." You want to know whether you would act to rescue this boy if you knew in advance what you would be put through by doing so. No one can answer that with any certainty. Indeed, to even try is moot, since we can't change what has already occurred. We can only act upon what will happen today and tomorrow. So THAT'S the real question I believe you're asking: "Would I rescue this boy today and risk going through what I went through yesterday?"

When we come from severe abuse, some of us cannot do nothing when an injustice occurs, or when we witness a child being physically or sexually abused. Not only does our instinct to protect kick in, we are overwhelmed with an ingrained need to stop what no one stopped for us. We act before we think, and by doing so, subconsciously show the world that what happened to us should never have happened, and that we will stop it from happening again, single-handedly if necessary. No matter our size or disadvantage, we become 10 feet tall with the strength of Hercules; we are driven to act with no regard for the consequences. We share this ingrained trait, Jennifer. We would rather be the ones who suffer, than do nothing when a helpless child is made to suffer.

What happened to you, Jennifer was heinously criminal. You were subjected to inhuman acts. The fact that you survived and didn't stick that fork in the electrical outlet, or suicide in some other way, is nothing short of miraculous. Rather than question what you would do given the circumstances today; recognize that you are a caring, loving, nurturing woman who has amazing strength of character. Because you do, Jennifer, you really do.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Child Abuse Commentary.

Return to Memories I Never Had

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

Read more...

Most Recent

RSS

  1. Converging Stolen Lives

    Jan 30, 18 01:13 PM

    There was a time and space I didn’t think about you, or your abuse. Where when I looked back at my life, I only saw normal things, a normal childhood.

    Read More

  2. A letter to one of the 13 Turpin children

    Jan 29, 18 11:33 AM

    A heartfelt letter by a former classmate that speaks to bullying and regrets. You'll find it on my Facebook group. I hope you'll join and get in on the discussion.

    Read More

  3. Dissociated From Abuse

    Jan 29, 18 11:00 AM

    I was sexually abused by my father from age 6 to 13, which stopped when I started talking about it during the day. The teenage brother of my best friend

    Read More

E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

Read more...