Forced To Play

by Mary
(Kentucky, USA)

When I was 6 months old my mom married my stepfather. I don't think she knew that he was a pedophile since he'd never been caught at that point, but he saw a single mother with 3 kids and pregnant with another. My older brother who was 9 said he was nice to him until they got married! Our mom was already very neglectful and physically abusive. He pretty much was a dad at 9.

Anyway, my stepfather moved in with us, and my brother said the first time he saw him do anything sexual to one of us was when he started telling my brother he'd change my diapers and give me baths. I was about 9 months at that point so I don't remember it at all, but I do remember when I was older. Anyway, my brother said that he was changing my diaper one day and he saw him with his mouth in my diaper area. He told me he froze and when my stepfather turned around and saw him he told him to try it too because it would make him feel really good and he forced him to do the same and then told him to put his finger down there and rub. My brother was too young to really understand, you know! He said afterwards he told my brother to take his clothes off and lie down on the bed. He then proceeded to "play" doctor is what he told my brother! He forced my brother to "play" doctor with me and my older sister.

When I was older, I remember him making me and my brother do 69 and he'd sit over in his chair watching and that got him off!

Then there were times he'd say "now sit on his face" or he'd make me sit on his face and he'd tell me how good I tasted. He would get in the mood at times for me and my older sister or me and my baby sister to lick each other. When mom found out, she would hold us down so his need would be met! I understand she was on drugs but she should've stopped him!

I can't even go around my sibling to this day and I'm 25 now. I feel so ashamed. If I see them, I just walk away without a single word. I thought when he got caught and him and mom both went to prison it'd fix me but it did nothing really!