Forced Diapering For Discipline IS Child Abuse

by Anonymous
(Location Undisclosed)

Note from Darlene: 
With permission from the author, this post was moved from the comments section of a child abuse article about diaper discipline on this site titled Diaper Discipline vs Appearance. PLEASE ALSO NOTE: To those who comment on this or other diaper discipline threads on this site, this is NOT a place for diapering enthusiasts. This is a site about child abuse and its effects. Please post only comments that reflect the true subject matter. All others will be deleted before they go live on the site. I thank you for your understanding and for helping to maintain the integrity of my site.

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Using forced diapering as a means of behavior modification does work but it absolutely is abusive as well. Just because something produces an intended result doesn't mean that the unintended consequences won't be worse than the initial issue. That's exactly the scenario here. The OP (original poster) is correct in that it crushes the self esteem of the child. There are much better and positive ways to provoke the desired behavioral change.

I was forced to wear diapers. My recollection of events aren't that great and I suspect it's because of how traumatic the experience was. I was a bed wetter when younger. I was put back in diapers as a result. It was a perfectly natural issue and wasn't used as discipline. However I grew attached to diapers and once taken out of them I would wear makeshift diapers using blankets and clothes pins. My mom caught me one day (older 4-year old - I remember as it was right before starting kindergarten) and said that if I wanted to be treated like a baby then I would be diapered like one. That's when the forced diapering became a disciplinary and abusive tactic. I don't recall how long that lasted (few weeks or months - unsure - but not years). This time period coincides with my poor recollection.

Then in my teens the desire to wear diapers re-emerged and was very strong. I would wear makeshift diapers using my baby blankets from childhood with a belt or underwear to keep them on. There were times that I know my parents knew about this but nothing was ever said. I should note that I always preferred to wear diapers but not use them for their intended purpose. Meaning I rarely urinate in them and never defecate. I only state this as it may indicate that the diapers are more fetish and less about regression (although elements of both are present) - if that makes sense.

I didn't let anyone know about this and really felt like I was extremely weird. The internet wasn't prevalent at the time and therefore I didn't realize there were others with similar desires. Otherwise I was a fairly normal teen - popular in school, not withdrawn, very active in sports etc. So it seemingly didn't cause issues other than internally with my questions about what my desires were and why. I went through several binge/purge cycles. One time I went so far as to take my baby blankets (that I was using as diapers) to an abandoned trestle and light them on fire. I used starter fluid and unfortunately the fire spread to a small brush fire and the fire trucks were called by someone to put it out. I tried putting it out and singed my eyelashes and eyebrows. It was very scary. I fled the scene and no one ever knew who started the fire. It was an insignificant event as it was nowhere near any property (homes etc.) but nonetheless it could have been disastrous. I explained the singed brows and eyelashes as a mistake with the stove (we had a gas stove) and my parents didn't ask any more questions. My father was a volunteer fireman in our town and there was only one (1) firehouse. I never heard anything about the fire.

I was caught by my sister and our neighbor (separate incidences) wearing makeshift diapers. My sister caught me in my room and claimed she was going to tell our parents but I never heard anything about it. My neighbor caught me outback in tall (almost hay) grass and just kind of blew it off. Her and her boyfriend grew marijuana on the second story terrace so they were pretty laid back and were never infringing on others or causing any trouble or drama. Nonetheless it was embarrassing.

Between my late teens and mid twenties I don't recall having urges and rarely recall wearing anything - makeshift or otherwise. This coincides with college and a heavy period of drinking/partying - so perhaps that's a factor. I did have a bed wetting problem after drinking heavily and passing out. It was a point of comedy within my circle of friends. Then the urges re-emerged in my mid twenties which coincides with the time that I consciously decided to stop partying and drinking heavily.

Off and on I'd wear diapers when desired. I shared this with my then fiance who was somewhat understanding. Although we later split up and certain statements were made that led me to believe that her view of me changed - albeit slightly - from seeing me in diapers. I am an otherwise very hetero-masculine person. This wasn't the reason we split but it did give me insight to her true thoughts on the subject when we did split.

Fast forward to today and as an adult I still have very strong desires to wear diapers. It's not an unhealthy life choice but I can't help but think that their are elements of my personality that are not as positive as they should be - like feelings of abandonment over issues that shouldn't rise to the level that provoke those feelings. I manage these issues well but it's taken years of mistakes and reflection (along with with pain to me and others) to understand how to validate my feelings or determine if they are the result of something other than the scenario at-hand.

Summary - diaper discipline is abuse. The long term ramifications can be very significant. I choose to be diapered as an adult (outside of my career and interaction with others beside my s/o) and therefore it seems relatively harmless. However - if given the choice I would prefer not to have these desires. In many ways I think the fact that I have these urges that are incredibly difficult to suppress (and I no longer do) that it's similar to other more destructive behaviors like addiction. Anytime you have an element that is hard to manage it is an issue.

I am diapered every night and nearly all the time outside of work and engagements with family/friends. I have a loving s/o who for the most part understands. But I absolutely would much prefer this not be a part of my life. The diapers ease anxiety (not that I suffer much from that) and are very comforting. I view diapers similar to clothing choices - we wear what makes us comfortable. However I recognize that the roots of the desire are almost certainly my childhood and perhaps the diaper discipline. Perhaps this would exist regardless as I became attached to diapers before the discipline but I'll never know for sure.

However I do know that using forced diapering as a method for behavior change is very negative for the child.

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