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Jun 23, 2015
 Mark:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Try not to compare your situation with that of others. When we're in pain, we're in pain. And though it can be helpful to understand that others do have it worse, it can't be at the expense of denying our own feelings and emotions. Recognizing that others have it worse, or had it worse, can be a good tool to use to get us out of wallowing, but again, not to deny our own pain.

Your father wasn't there for you the way you needed him to be. Your disability may or may not have had something to do with that. But that would be his excuse, not an explanation. No matter what, you deserved to have both your parents there for you, helping you to grow and mature, encouraging all that you were good at and enjoyed doing.

We know that children who grow up in abusive homes are at greater risk for childhood sexual abuse for a multitude of reasons. What happened to you that day with that male pervert clearly has had a great affect on you. Disability or not. And the fact that you grew up the way you did made telling that much more difficult. So whatever you do, don't blame yourself. Don't blame your disability. Blame goes directly to those who made the choice to abuse you.

Know that you are NOT small or insignificant, no matter how you were treated. Your absent father was condescending, but that doesn't mean you have to accept the messages he sent you. You have a choice to make now: to continue to believe what he told you directly and indirectly as a result of his treatment of you, OR to tell yourself all the wonderful things you really and truly are. Don't believe the lies about yourself, Mark. You deserved to be treated with dignity and respect and love. It's now time to start treating your SELF in that way. Every time you hear in your mind all the negative messages about yourself, tell yourself the exact opposite. And keep telling yourself those positive things, because that would be relaying the truth. You ARE worthy, Mark. You ARE valuable. The world needs people like you. Don't ever believe otherwise.

I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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