Extent of Abuse

by Ekta
(Raipur, India)

I am a 25 yr old pregnant married woman. And when I look back in time I get chills. Though currently I am happily married, my abusive father doesn't stop ruining my life and hurting me. If I start this story from beginning, ever since I was born I never got the love and affection from my father which I was supposed to get or which my elder sister got. Yes we are two sisters and I am the younger one but my dad never seen both of us from the same eye. With time the partiality, verbal & physical abuse, insults and his aggression just increased. He never in his life shown signs of remorse. Calling him a monster is an insult to monster clan.

All of this started when my mother found out that he has been cheating on her with his secretary since 11 yrs. I was only 14 yrs old when I came to know all about this. I supported my mother whereas my elder sister agreed with him and became his sidekick in insulting my mom and me. She did all this because she always loved money and my dad provided her with a lot.

As the time passed by, he started getting angry with me for small small things such as wearing my sister's clothes and beat me up with kicks and punches. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me. If my mom opposed while he's beating me up, he would beat up my mom too. This went like this for years.

When I was in +2 there was a guy who used to follow me from school to home. I told this to my dad, he took no action. Soon that guy started stalking me inside the school as my school was not that security proof. I let this too come to my dad’s notice,, still he did nothing. One day in order to start talking to me, this stalker arranged to put a cellphone in my bag, without my knowledge. I went home as regular and started cooking. Yes! I used to cook daily meals and do all the house chores as my mother went on job to provide for the family.

So, back on the stalker, this phone in my bag started to ring which in most unfortunate circumstance my sister found and she wasted no time and gave it to my dad saying I have been sneaking around with guys and they are providing me with mobile phones for sleeping with them. Soon after that my dad started beating me up, and I had no idea why. I just ask him the reason to beat me and as I ask him his beating gets severe, he used his belt (buckle side), then a thick wooden stick and then kicking me in the stomach continuously. When my mom came home I was covered in bruises and blood. She took me inside and inquired about the matter. I couldn't speak as I was shivering and my mouth and face was swelled up. He soon came back, held me with my throat and dragged me out of the bed where I was hiding hugging my mom. Then he, pulling my hair, took me out of the house and said get out at 3 am and never come back. My mom called my uncle which happens to his brother itself. Still he came and tried to resolve the issue, he saw my condition and got angry. To escape my uncle my dad told him I am having an affair with a guy who gave me cellphone which I was hiding in my bag. That was the time I came to know why I was getting beaten up. I was surprised. I told everybody it's not true. To shut me up he took his slipper off of his foot and threw it on my face. Soon after and argument my uncle went agreeing to whatever he told him. Soon after this my dad refused to pay my school fee, burnt my books and held me at home while exams.

This episode was not the only one, not the first or last either. I suffered in that house my entire life. His beatings, insults everything kept on increasing year by year after this. I stood at home one year. I wasn't even allowed to go to yard outside my house. I was undergoing a punishment. I was supposed to stay in one room, sleep on the floor, get up early, do my house chores and eat only the amount of food he allows me to. I did all that for an entire year as I was too scared to do anything. By this time my mom met with an accident and broke her leg which made her cripple for lifetime and after that she was unfit to work anymore. As expected, I was the next candidate to earn and provide for the house, so I did. But with that I gained some confidence and I started saving small small amounts of money to pay my fee and studied further. Looking at the increase in my salary with the studies he allowed me to complete my bachelors with my own salary. Still my house chores, beatings, insults and abuse didn't end.

He always loved my sister to the core, and gave her all the freedom in the world. As a result, soon she got pregnant with her boyfriend. And she expressed her desire to get married to him. So my dad happily invested seven hundred thousand (rupees) to marry her to her jobless boyfriend. He not only covered every expense of the ceremony (which included even the undergarments of the groom and his whole family) but also gave one hundred thousand cash, a rented apartment all the furnishings and some jewelry. So he exhausted all the savings he had.

Later after 4 yrs, I expressed to my mom that I need to get out of this hell hole. Being a conservative Indian mother the only way she could suggest was to get married. And expressing that to my dad was a big thing. Still I gathered some confidence and told him. He disagreed, told me at least 10 yrs, don't even think about it. Still I started searching for grooms in a matrimony website. And this was my life's first fortunate time I found this guy (my husband). I never wanted to hide anything from my life partner so I told him everything about my family, specially my dad. He reached him and asked for my hand. My dad not only denied him but also told him he has no money to marry me out and expressed he wanted to see the groom’s family, so my husband paid for his and mine entire travel to his hometown. And he told my dad he doesn't desire a single penny but only me, which is a huge thing being from an Indian household. He finally agreed seeing the name and property of my husband's family.

After this his greediness increased, he started putting up demands on my husband for money, for the marriage, church, tickets and even clothes. My husband agreed to all his demands as he knew already this marriage isn't going to be easy, he even paid for each and every expense of mine before marriage. And finally the marriage happened and my husband took me out of there being the true Prince Charming in the shining armor.

Now I'm happily married and settled in Middle East and expecting a baby. So I need my mom here with me, biggest reason she is suffering and getting abused daily as my sister and brother-in-law and her daughter lives with my mom and dad, and all the chores and cooking my mom does. I can't see her suffering anymore. And in order to that I asked my dad to send her here and he denied saying my sister need her most not me. I paid for my mom's documents (her ID, passport, tickets) and booked her flight. He still didn't let her board the flight and held her at home.

I hope this abuse ends some day! And if this, in any regards happening to you, don't be like me, gather some strength and get out of it as quickly as possible.