Comments for Emotional Abuse: a Child's Perspective. Some Family Do's and Dont's.

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Sep 05, 2008
 Emotional abuse
by: Janet

I just read Emotional Abuse: a child's perspective. I couldn't not help but cry, I read this and thought that someone was talking about me. I can relate to the majority of what you wrote and my childhood is long gone but I still feel the devistating effects of how I was treated. The emotional abuse I suffered is still with me today, I feel so much pain and unhappiness. I want children but I am scared, my worst fear in life is to become my biological incubator- she was no mother to me. I thank you for writting this story, it helps to know I am not alone.
Sep 07, 2008
 To Janet
by: Elaine Riley

Thanks for your kind comment Janet. It's heartening to think that people can read what I write, and be encouraged to pause for thought as a result...
By the way, there are probably many that this article could "speak to". I guess my personal experiences in some way mirror yours. This website is a blessing in that sense, as it brings together people who share a common experience, and lends them the opportunity to speak out, and so help each other.
But Janet, don't EVER give up on the idea of having children. Just because our own parents were poor parents, does NOT have to mean we will be.
I sense that you are an insightful, reflective person Janet, or you would not have written what you did. It's fine to be scared at the thought of being a parent. That means you're thinking about what it entails, and that you'd be going into the experience if you became a mother with your eyes wide open. NOBODY gets everything right as a parent. But the point is, you are already aware of some of the mistakes that can be made, and will therefore develop your own style of mothering in order to ensure that you do not make them.
You may still make mistakes - like I said, NO child comes with an instruction manual. But it is your sense of openness, honesty and ability to question yourself that, if you harness it correctly, can be used to your benefit as a potential mother. Parenting is about flexibility and adaptability. It is about learning as you go along. And the ability to reflect upon yourself, and your own experiences may prove to be an advantage in this.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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