Comments for Disability and Child Abuse

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Apr 15, 2010
 Sandy:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me, and for bringing to light the very real issues surrounding disability and child abuse at the hands of parents. You may not be able to smile yourself, but because of your choices and the way you've conducted your life (in spite of the horrors you lived), you have reached out and brought smiles to many, especially smiles from the inside. You are a shining light in the shadows of the secrets that keep disability and child abuse away from public view. Perhaps YOU will be the one to write the book that has yet to be written.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Apr 16, 2010
 O Angel of God my Guardian Dear
by: maurice

That is who you are to me after reading your story. God's special child, Oh yes, I am 63 years of age elder lemon single male. I have witnessed exceptional LOVE where children were born with a disability of one kind or another. Yes the immediate re-action of a mother is Oh No why me. but slowly the loving couple, faith couple begin to cherish and love their wee angel sent by God. The Mystery of the why they will live with. but as the child grows their acceptance grows; You were the unlucky child whose parents did not accept your beauty and you. were abusive, were cruel, But you were and became strong in your own right. I am Special, I love me, that is all that matters NOW. Darlene has been ever so affirming of your beautifulness and how you help others to live and to smile. There is a smiling you deep within you in the child you are allowing to be in you. You are great, you sure are a guiding light to those who value and respect you for who you are. I hope you write that BOOK. I can, I will, I must, Think Positive, Say, I'M SPECIAL I love me. Keep having a healthy mind in a healthy body. You are NOW in charge of your own destiny in life. Live well, laugh alot (within) LOVE much. God created me the wonderful and beautiful person I am. Sadly He gave me a Family did not see me like that.
Apr 22, 2010
 to make a difference...
by: Sandy

In going back through the various mental health "services" of my past, I *never* found even ONE who could connect even two historical "dots" (like having a disability and being depressed). That ignorance stems, absolutely, from "if it's not in the book, it doesn't exist".

I've been doing ALOT of googling, yahooing and bing-ing - using every combination of words imaginable to find information re: emotional/ verbal/ psychological child abuse effects on people born with disabilities. While there ARE resources for people born with intellectual disabilities and 'multiple disabilities', I've not yet found information on long-term effects of growing up within a family that has many dysfunctional characteristics - when one has a disfiguring condition that may impede parental attachment, bonding; be stigmatizing, etc.

While some kids come into this world "wonderful" in the eyes of their parents, others are not so lucky. This second group - none of which told God at conception "OK God... do it! give me ____! YEAH! I wanna make them SQUIRM!" - these kids internally fight a real, fundamental battle - that their existence truly was unwanted to some degree.

I think this is the "dysfunctional, narcissistic societal family" NO TALK - these kids learn, early on, to be GRATEFUL for whatever they get, even though there is an abundance of research out there that says just how unwelcome these kids are!

The bottom line is that the PARENTS are (or should be!) the adults here. Their newborn baby - no matter what it may have (or not have) ... that baby had NOTHING TO DO with its birth condition. The BABY is the life-long victim here.

I'm sick and tired of seeing parent-perspective ONLY on websites ... "we know how you feel ... it was hard ..." ad infinitum. Those websites need to have, JUST AS PROMINENTLY, the impact their parenting will have on that son or daughter.

A few weeks ago, my mother emailed me ... 'how are you?' & 13 other sentences starting with "I". I told her - depressed, memories ... ACA. Her reply - "prayer" forwarded - very condescending. I replied "so this is how you respond re: depression?" No answer. None. I even sent a second email - are you mad at me? No response.

Her answer spoke volumes.
Jul 14, 2010
 You are far from alone
by: Notumbo

Sandy,

I, too, was born with club feet, and your story is an astonishing parallel of my own.

Notumbo

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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From Victim to Victory
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