by Peter
(United Kingdom)
Gonna try and get some bad memories off my chest. I suffer from from very emotional times at the hands of my mother who to most people appeared to be a good parent, and yes could be great mother the majority of the time but mood swings were often taken out on me. I wet the bed and was very late to get toilet trained just out of nappies before starting school in the day with frequent accidents so was no stranger to having to wear a nappy back in the day of having to wash terry squares and rubber pants which when my mother was discreet about it I could go along with. I was taken to doctor and clinics but never anything physical found wrong with me.
My mothers patience would run out now and again as she was firmly believer that my bedwetting was due to laziness she would try every so often to not use nappies but I would just flood the bed so as I got older she tried shaming and quite humiliating punishments on me. As anyone who has wet the bed will know it is very embarrassing and very doubtful to be done on purpose.
Our house would always had a cane or a belt for discipline but was never used as a punishment for bedwetting but for other misdemeanor was often used. I would have rather been caned than humiliated with the use of nappies and rubber pants.
My mother liked the punishment to fit the crime. Often had my wet sheets held up to my face to emphasise my dirty bedwetting habit. If I had used and wet my nappy I would often have to wait in it for a while maybe till after breakfast, or for a hour or two. I think she thought the development of nappy rash would deter me wetting myself. She sometimes made me look at my wet nappied state in the mirror.
One of the worst things I recall is where I accidentally dirtied my nappy. I was about 10 and she went into a rage holding my soiled rubber pants to my face threatening to rub my nose in them. But then she could calm down and be the kindest loving parent anybody could wish for.
I have been always too embarrassed to tell my ordeals to anyone. I now am a ordinary 50-year-old man happily married with my own children who I love to bits and could not even comprehend mistreating them in anyway.
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From Victim to Victory
a memoir
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life
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