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Feb 06, 2015
 Peter:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I applaud and commend you for breaking the cycle with your own children.

We're about the same age. So we grew up during the same era. And in that era, parents were not as well informed as they are today. Mothers (and fathers) adopted forms of discipline during that time that are not acceptable today. They often did so at the advice of doctors and others who were considered experts in the field. They may also have incorporated methods that others touted as a way to eliminate the behaviour. There was seldom any understanding of what the discipline could do to the child; it was all about getting rid of the behaviour. And there certainly was very little understanding of why children wet the bed in the first place. It was considered laziness, but also defiance. And defiance was the worst of the crimes to commit.

So what does all this mean for you? When we can change our perspective about what we endured, that new way of looking at what happened can often lead to healing. You have no shame to carry, Peter. None whatsoever. For the bedwetting or for the way you were mistreated as a result. The humiliation you suffered weighs heavily on you still. Perhaps the weight can be somewhat lifted with a greater understanding of what your mother was attempting to do, terribly misguided as it was.

I send you love, light and healing energy, Peter. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Nov 24, 2015
 i just dont know
by: Anonymous

Kids wet the bed. Moms get pressured and snap. Maybe cultural expectations or something. Misguided as the title suggests.

How does one forgive and move on?

Also isn't it interesting how different people and kids reach differently. Like I also wet the bed. Yet in my family, it was a non issue. Almost too much so. I used to feel totally powerless and it seemed like no one cared. No one encouraged me to be dry. It was not every night but several times a week. Enough that I thought there was hope and then it was dashed time and time again. I just wore a nappy and plastic pants and if it was wet, I put it straight in the washing machine. That was just the way it was. A continual thing. something to be ashamed of yet nothing said and nothing done.

I don't recall going to the doctor but I asked my mom about it years later and she said the doctor said I would grow out of it and eventually I did. Around 16 I think. I know the fear of "a lapse" lasted much longer.

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