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Jun 18, 2015
 Eve:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

We all need people in our lives to get beyond the effects of child abuse, or any other form of adversity. None of us truly do it alone. Though it's not unusual for those of us who have endured abuse to act out in ways that can push people away. It's a coping mechanism. A purposeful way of making sure that someone who cares about you can't hurt you. It is so challenging for someone who has been abused, especially in multiple ways, can trust. When you were beaten for cutting off your hair, without any regard for why you might have done so, your parents effectively shut you down and shut you up. Clearly, it was unsafe to tell them what was happening in your life.

And whatever you do, don't ever blame yourself for what you went through. This abuser groomed you, Eve. He knew very well that you would be delighted to be "his girlfriend". And he preyed on you because you were vulnerable on many levels. He knew the family dynamics, and used them against you. And he knew you would never tell. What he did to you was despicable. And your parents set you up for it in the way they disciplined.

You have people in your life who are supportive. People you can lean on. And that's important. It's also important to re-member that you can lean on your Self. That you are so much stronger than you give your Self credit for. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't reach out for help when you need it. What I'm saying is don't discount what you your Self bring to the table.

You have the experience of drugs and alcohol abuse. And you have the experience of what being abused to such substances can negatively bring into your life. Perhaps another way to bring more healing to you is to open up to others who are in that boat. Open up and share of your experience, and in the process, show them that they can get beyond it all. That can be very cathartic. It can also help you to cope better during those difficult times.

I send you love, light and healing energy, Eve. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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From Victim to Victory
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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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