Confronted My Dad

by Emma P
(UK)

Since I can remember I was physically and emotionally abused by my father. During this time I lived with my mother and brother also who went through this experience with me. This was a difficult time for all of us, we lived our lives in fear and at a young age, or any age, this is not a good way to live.

My father was easily angered, yet could change into the loveliest man to walk the earth when around others. Going through any type of abuse is the worst type of thing to happen, and just makes you think, "what is the point?". Going through this abuse caused so many mixed emotions for me, I have been depressed, sad, hurt, ashamed, embarrassed and lastly PISSED OFF! I did not deserve this to happen to me. But it took a long time to get to this stage.

When I first got out of the abusive situation I was in, I was 14 years old. For the first couple of months I did not think much of what went on with my father; yet as the months went by my emotions changed and I became angry at him. I was so angry at him for what he had put me through, how could anyone hurt a child? How could anyone hurt another human being?

After getting away from the abuse I began to go through depression. This was a confusing time for me, as surely someone should be depressed about being abused, not after they are away from the abuse? I was referred to a counsellor and turned to self-harm in order to try and help myself. This did not help. I could not open up to a counsellor. I would just sit and sob about the situation; so to get out of this I decided that the next session I had I would lie and say I felt better in myself. But of course, I did not. I eventually got sent back to the doctors to be prescribed anti-depressants; which also did not help me. If anything this made me angrier about the situation, as how could I have to go through all of this whilst my dad got away with what he did? How was that fair?

After a few weeks of doctors appointments and taking the tablets, I decided it was all going to stop. I confronted my dad, in a public place, to tell him that what he did to me, was simply, SHIT. I did not deserve what had happened to me, and this was no way to treat another human being. If anything, I had learnt from the situation I was put in. Once I had done this, the healing process began. I could finally open up to others about what had happened, and after all of the shit... I was recovering.

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