Comments for Concerned my toddler is being sexually abused...

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Jun 28, 2008
 To a loving, caring mother:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm in no position to say whether or not your son is being molested by your father. It's possible, given what you've stated above. But the fact that YOU don't trust him is a HUGE factor. I'm asking myself why it is that you don't trust him. I'm asking myself if he has molested you. I'm asking myself if there's a history that you are aware of. But regardless, if you don't trust him, then for goodness sake, don't leave your son alone with him. Don't leave your son exposed to even the possibility of impropriety. Your job as his mother is to keep him safe from harm; do what you must in order to protect him. And when I say "alone," I'm not just talking about times when you are not in the house. I'm talking about never turning your back on the man if your son is anywhere near. If you absolutely must be around your father, keep tabs on what he is doing at all times.

I answered a very similar question to yours just yesterday. I refer you to the following URL on this site: Suspect my toddler is being sexually abused: Don't know what to do? My answer to this particular question follows the submission on that page. Much of what I wrote applies to you as well.

If you suspect that your son is being molested, then report your suspicions. Don't question your son; leave that to the case worker. Perhaps there is something in place that will allow you to take your son to a doctor for a check up without you having to pay. Consider contacting Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about what you are dealing with and the circumstances you are in. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you as a parent. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting. Perhaps they can offer you more options. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: http://www.childhelp.org/

With regard to your son's torn rectum, if he is having problems with constipation, then yes, a torn rectum can definitely be a symptom. But I can't say whether or not your son's situation is caused by constipation or something more sinister. Consider trying to feed your son more fibre, such as a small amount of prunes every day to see if that helps with his constipation, and thus the rectal symptoms. I cannot stress enough that a doctor should be consulted, for the cause, as well as for the painful symptoms your son is exhibiting.

I wish you and your son all the best.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jun 29, 2008
 GET HELP NOW!!!
by: Anonymous

Dear Madam,

I am shocked that a mother would not recognize early signs of molestation. Do you know that a mothers instinct should be trusted. Chances are your feelings are right, if you do not act now your son will suffer for it for the rest of his life. I was molested as a baby/todler and growing up memories started to emerge. I hold a great deal of resentment towards the adults around me that thought but did nothing. I myself am now studying social work and all I can say to you is.. DO SOMETHING!!!!!
SAY SOMETHING!!!! Get help, there are social workers that you can go to. Why do you think they are there, for show!!! GO GET HELP NOW!!!!
Oct 10, 2008
 PLEASE LISTEN TO ME !
by: Anonymous

your words of concern are the very same words i said about my children and my parents. LISTEN to yourself, BEILIEVE yourself, TRUST your concerns ! it is not worth the risk. i just recently found out the hard way that my worst nightmare were all true! just like yourself i always thought i just didnt like my parents that I WAS AT FAULT. now i have learned all along my fears were real and my children were being molested..... learn from my horrible mistake if you think it your insticts as a mother are right. take your baby away from that monster for a while, when your son feels safe he will tell you or show you the truth. my children never acted afraid of my parents either, that doesn't mean nothing is wrong. molesters are very good at confusing children. remember a child molester is not the boogey man under your bed , but the man that tucks you in at night...... god bless.
Dec 26, 2008
 I am afraid I have a similar situation
by: Anonymous

I am a grandmother of a three year old toddler, I live with my daughter and her family.

I never trusted my daughter's husband (I do not even want to call him my son-in law, because I cringe of thinking of him as a son).

He has always been competing with me about caring for my grandaughter, to a point where I started to think something is not right.

This past week, my grandaughter has been having nightmares, and cries "I do not want to" in her sleep, she also has been complaining of having tummy ache, If I try to wash her bottom after she poops, she tells me "no,no,no", when I ask her what is wrong, she just shyes her face the other way, and seems distressed.

I cannot tell my daughter anything, she defends him all the way, even with other issues, and it would devastate her.

She is the bread winner, and he is a lazy bum, sleeps, eats, and watches TV for more than ten hours every day.He is filthy and has a very bad temper. I have had many confrontations with him, about his creuelty towards my grandaughter, he opened the door onetime, in a very cold weather, and asked her to leave the house, closed the door and went to his bedroom, when I objected to his treatment, he yelled at me that "he should have cicked me out more than a year ago"

I would like to leave, but I cannot afford to live alone, am retired, and do not have a home for myself, and at the same time, I cannot leave, being afraid that something worse may happen to my granddaughter.

I have thought of reporting about him, but I do not have any substantial proof.

If I even hint anything to my daughter, she would ask me to leave, and never talk to me again.
Feb 02, 2009
 Action is required.
by: Anonymous

To the above poster, living with her daughter and daughter's husband:

For a moment, look at the situation objectively. That means taking away the bias of how much you care about your daughter and what a lazy bum her husband is. It means taking even your living situation out of the equation.

A little girl is crying "No, no, no" and "I don't want to" in her sleep, and is upset when you wash her bottom after she goes to the bathroom. She responds with shame and fear. Something is very wrong. You can see it, or you would not have posted. Even if it's all you can muster, make an anonymous phone call to the local authorities (or call 1-800-4ACHILD). You taking action can be the difference between the trauma continuing to take place (for this child, and others later if abuse is going unchecked) and hope of recovery.

Your daughter is probably in denial. As long as the abuse is going on, there is little hope of her being on your side of things whether you act or not, unless you let denial win you over, too.

Do something. Please.
May 29, 2009
 LAW NEEDS TO BE CHANGED!!!
by: Anonymous

IFOUND OUT MOST STATES HAVE PASSED LAW TO ALLOW CHILDREN TO BE VIDEO TAPE TESTIMONY - CHILDREN UNDER 3 YEARS OLD DO NOT HAVE A VOICE- ONLY MOTHERS AND ETC ARE THEIR VOICES AND THIS CAN NOT BE USED!!!! UNLESS THE PERPETRATOR CAUSES SEVERE INJURY ALMOST LEFT FOR DYING THESE CHILDREN HAVE NO VOICE!!!!! WE NEED TO ALLOW THESE CHILDREN'S TESTIMONY TO BE USED!!!! YES CHILDREN IN THIS AGE BRACKET DO SPEAK WHEN THEYRE IN PAIN AND BEING MOLESTED.....THE LAW IS YOUR STATE NEEDS TO CHANGE.........THESE CHILDREN HAVE NO VOICE WE NEED TO STEP UP AND GIVE THEM A VOICE BEFORE IT IS TOO, LATE ....THESE PERPETRATORS GO ON MOLESTING CAUSE THEY'RE NOT EVER CAUGHT....TALKING FROM EXPERIENCE .FILE TWO COMPLAINTS WITH BOTH MY CHILDREN BOTH TIME UNFOUNDED DUE TO FIRST TIME NOT TAKEN TO EMERGENCY ROOM, SECOND TIME DID, AND STILL UNFOUNDED. NOT GOOD ENOUGH THAT BOTH THESE CHILDREN WERE TELLING ME WHAT WAS BEING DONE TO THEM....!!!!
Jun 10, 2009
 You can save your son from grief and suffereing
by: Anonymous

Lady. please, please take your son to the nearest hospital immediately. If you suspect then trust your gut instinct. You could be saving your sons life in the future. your son is more important than what people think.
Oct 20, 2009
 Baby girl
by: Anonymous

My 2 year old daughter has been acting oddly the past month and im afraid that she might be being sexually abused by her father.
Her father and i seperated about a year ago and my daughter has always had weekends with him. She loved going to daddy's house.
But the last month or so she has been screaming her head off every time i take her to his house. She has been waking up screaming about the monsters getting her at least twice a night. She was almost potty trained and now refuses to use the toilet. she has been very clingy and hasnt been eating much.
At first i didnt think anything of all of this, that our moving had effected her, but the other day i was laying down and she sat on my chest pointed to her private parts and was telling me to eat her.
I've made a doctors appointment to get her checked out, but other than that, i dont really kow what else to do about it.
Please help.
Oct 22, 2009
 My lil' man
by: Anonymous

My two year old son came home from his grandmothers house a few months ago. He stayed the night there with her, her husband and he 2 sons. Every since hes been home he wakes up screaming NO and OW. I changed his diaper the night he got home and his rear looked swollen. I didnt think anything of it at the time because his grandmother said he was "stopped up" but he keeps trying to stick things in his rear and most of the time now hates being naked or having his diaper changed. He hasnt been back for ike a month and has seemed ok. But when they came to get him the other day he went off. Crying, screaming, kicking and not ketting me go. It was weird. Hes never done that. His grandmother finally got him in the carseat. I told her she could just leave him with me that id cancle ny appointment but she took him anyway. The next day he came back with a weird rash and rear swoolen again and the screaming and everything has started again. I think his Step grandfather may be sexually abusing him but i dont want to accuse him because im paranoid. He is a sick man though. Ive seen him watching child porn and he's step kids say hes a major perv. I dont want to keep my son from his grandmother but I need to find out whats going on. Does it sound like my son is being sexually abused or am i making a big deal over nothing??? Please help.
Oct 24, 2009
 step granfather may be abusing son
by: Anonymous

YOu are questioning your step grandfathers abusing your son when he has been caught watching child porn and your son is showing all the sysmtoms of abuse-- What the hell are you thinking--if you even think this is happening you should not be sending that poor child there against his will!!!
Nov 12, 2009
 Reponse to "my lilman"
by: Anonymous

Your son is being molested. I have a feeling that you already know but are scared of the consequences of reporting. Consider this:

1. Are you a parent that suspect your child being molested and ignores it? Or are you a parent that is in denial thinking you are crazy or there would be proof other than what you've witnessed if it were happening? If you answered yes to either than you are allowing your child to of being abused which is a crime.

2. Are you a parent that will do anything to protect your child regardless of the outcome? If you answered yes than please take your child to be checked. Cases are confidential and even while the investigation is on-going, the authorities will NOT reveal your name if you chose to remain silent. Only after the authorities have concrete effidence will you need to proceed in court. Will it matter than??? No because you have your proof!

3. If you chose to do nothing than your guilt will haunt you the rest of your live and not only will your child continue to be hurt from those he trust but you will too. He trust you mommy...won't you please help him?

4. If someone else expects foul play there and reports it, you can bet the authorities will come and talk with you as well. When they find out that you suspected foul play but had no evidence so you did not report it that both you and grandpa will be prosecuted.

Your child unfortunately is being molested and obviously by you physical damage is occurring. That my dear you can not ignore. The other family members may resent you in the beginning but after time and for the love of the child they will want to protect him as well. They probably suspect something is wrong as well and not sure what to do. Unlike them, you know what you have to do, right?

Please keep us posted. Do not hesitate to reach out. Take care of that little one and I hope you keep in touch.
Nov 18, 2009
 Thanks
by: My lil man

Since I first had those thoughts I did not allow my son around him without me and my husband around. And my son didnt wanna have anything to do with him.
The day after I posted my concerns I took him to the ER and had him checked out... My son had shown signs of being assualted. I have talked to the detective in charge of the case once to tell him what was going on and to set up a meeting for me to release my sons medical records. Which he never showed up for.I havent heard from him in almost 3 weeks. He told us not to say anything to the step grandfather about the investigation. But 2 weeks ago he called him and told him he needed to speak ith him about my son, and set up a meeting. The grandfather never showed up. I thought if he didnt show up for something like that he would get in trouble. So far nothing has been done. And all the evidence on his PC is gone now because the detective called and pretty much gave him a heads up. The CPS worker has already been put to our home and has done more then the detective. She said my son is not allowed anywhere near the step grandfather or his grandmother. When this happened to me, they put my dad in jail the same night. Why does it seem like nothing is beig done? I know its a long process. But to hear nothing in almost 3 weeks? I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. My son is doing a little better, but still has nightmares every so often. But other then that he is almost back to himself.
Nov 18, 2009
 Response to "my lilman"
by: Anonymous

You am so proud of you. I know how hard it is to turn in a family member as I have been there. Cases such as these take a long time to investigate, sometimes years. Child Protective Services will do far more than any police or detective, they primarily will turn any evidence over to CPS to take necessary measures. The purpose in asking him to come into the office to discuss the concerns is only to get his side of the story. Those falsely accused will ALWAYS go to defend themselves. You father-n-law not going in to defend himself only shows that he has something to hide.

I know it can be frustrating not knowing what is going on but chances are the police authorities are finished and have turned the investigation over to CPS. Trust me it is noted that he failed to comply, showing him guilty.

Cases that have hard evidence. And I mean hard evidence are only the cases that are open and shut. The majority of child abuse cases are hard to proof and therefore take extensive investugations. The CPS only gets one chance to put him away and therefore must make sure they get the evidence to back their case. You father-n-law not cooperating is only the first step of building a case against him. I know its hard but be patient. They are not ignoring you and DO have your child's best interest at heart. Good luck and thank you for the update. Please keep us posted. Prayers sent to you and your son during these difficult times.
Nov 26, 2009
 Mommys Little Princess
by: Anonymous

My daughter is almost 2 years old. 21 months to be exact. Her father and i haven't been together since she was 5 months old, I've never trusted him. He has a very violent past. His temper can go from 0 to 60 faster than anyone I know. His dad physically abused him (not sure if anything else) and his grandpa physically abused his dad (again not sure if anything else) My daughter only sees him once every weekend, either sunday or saturday for a few hours. The past several times shes been over there, shes came back an her bottom is pretty red, and hadn't been before she left my house. I just have that mommy bad gut feeling (if that makes any sense) He started dating this girl about a month ago too, who, to put the nicest way I can is just weird. I can't explain it, but she's asked if just she could take my daughter if her dad couldn't. Which i immediantly said no to, i've met her maybe 4 times now. she gives me bad vibes as well, really bad, none of his other girlfriends have. Also, Sometimes she screams hysterically when i bring her there and other times she's fine. She isn't like that with her daycare, babysitters, soon to be step dad, grandparents, or aunt. I really need some advice on this. I was sexually asaulted twices before the age of 9 and raped when i was 17 and the thought of something like that happening to her makes me want to throw up. I'd rather I went though that 1000 times over and over again before she ever did. I was also wondering if the areas of penetration are the other areas that would be red or if there isn't penetration, what areas would be. I'm not sure if that's an easy answer or not, but someone please help me!
Nov 27, 2009
 Physical abuse more likely....response
by: Anonymous

I do not think your daughter is being sexual abused. But perhaps physically abused. That may explain why she cries at sometimes when going to their home. I was wondering if when she has these outburst is it close to the times when you've picked her up and noticed the red bottom? My thought is that if she is there and he has not spanked her than she will be okay at their next visit but if he's spanked her hard and than has the outburst in her mind and than has outbursts because she remembers the previous painful spanking. I would definately ask her father about this. Let him know that you DO NOT want him to disciplen your daughter in this form and explain to him that her behavior and fearfulness is extreme only when going to his home and you demand to know why??? Please keep us updated. Good luck!
Dec 03, 2009
 My 4 yr old
by: Worried Mom

My two son's and I recently moved back to the states from Guatemala where we lived with my ex husband. Since we had moved there he began hanging around my 16 year old nephew. After spending time alone with him my oldest son *4* developed a rash, wet the bed when he was completely potty trained, started slapping his butt and giggling, got scared of going to the bathroom alone, sleeping alone and I even walked in on him completely naked in his bed rubbing himself against a barbie of my neice's. Now that we are back he has severe behavior problems, screams at night in his sleep and has had a complete change of what he used to be. My son has speech problems but the last couple of nights he's been able to have understandable conversation with me and told me my ex husband's nephew touched him "in his butt". I think that he was sexually abused but I don't know what to do.. HELP ME PLEASE!!
Dec 09, 2009
 My 3 year old
by: Anonymous

Please help me..... 2 months ago my 3 year old daughter started regressing. No more pee pee on the potty,crys and screams in middle of night, masterbates and the list goes on. She told me her dadddy touches her privates at night all the time.
The police and CPS are now envolved. I have not let her see her dad and she is improving a little. What if they want her to go back with him? What do i do.
Thank you,
Helpless
Dec 09, 2009
 Response to the person with "4 year old son"
by: Anonymous

I am sorry to inform you but it does without doubt seem like your child is being sexually molested. His mental, social, and cognitive behaviors are a VERY clear indication that he has and is being abused. Because your 4 year old child told you that this person touched his behind and you caught him playing sexually with the barbie is a " NO DOUBT" sign. A 4 year old is not capable of making such story up and the fact he is acting out the sexually behavior to this degree of masturbation is a serious concern. You need to get away from this man. You need to take your son to see a medical doctor ( either private office or emergency room) and have him checked for internal damage. The doctors will advise you on the next steps, psychological counseling, etc. I have attached some links that help mothers with abuse children which help with housing, food, medical expenses, etc. I am assuming since you are not from this country than you may not have anywhere to go.

http://www.abusedchildrennetwork.net/
http://www.asafeplaceforhelp.org/childrendomesticviolence.html
http://www.awap.org/services.htm
http://www.shelteringwings.org/resources/child.php
http://www.safehaven.org/
http://www.childrensprotection.org/index.php/learn/custody-myths-that-endanger-kids/

Let me know if I can help you further. I will do whatever I can to help you get out. Good luck.
Dec 09, 2009
 3 year old girl
by: Anonymous

The state WILL NOT allow a child at that young that verbally states that her daddy is touching her to have UNSUPERVISED VISTATION with him even if there IS NO physical evidence. Keep voicing your CONCERNS and FRIGHT to authorities, especially social services. This way they will know without doubt to take you seriously and that you are not just another wife wanting out and just teaching your child to say these things. Unfortunately, women will teach their children to say such things in divorce, etc. In any case, if what you say is correct then your husband will not be allowed to have unsupervised visitation. Usually, the abusive parent will have visitation in the Dept. of Social Services where he can be monitored (if he is allowed visitation at all).

I am glad you got your daughter away from him. I realize this is VERY hard time but it is your job to protect your children and you are proving that you will do whatever to keep her safe. My prayers are with you.
Jan 15, 2010
 21 month old girl
by: Anonymous

When my daughter goes to her dads 2 out of 3 times she will come home crying if I change her and when I inspect her privates she has what looks like a rash from an unshaven face and her vagina is liquidy and beet red , sometimes swollen and like that of a much older girl.
Her father has visitation 3 days a week with an over night. I get sick when I look at what appears to be raw , red and chapped privates.
We have joint legal and she resides with me.
Where can I go privately to have her checked with out him knowing?
Jan 15, 2010
 Response to the 21 old month girl
by: Anonymous

You can take your daughter to her pediatrician and state you want the visit confidential between you and the facilty, you can also go to the local health department or the emergency room. A complete examine by a license physician is the only way to determine whether or not foul play is happening.

Does your daughter still wear diapers? Have you ever expected inappriorate behavior from your X before? Have you addressed your concerns with him?

It is possible that if your daughter is still wearing diapers perhaps he is keeping her in soiled daipers for a long period of time causing her irratation and chaffing. This is neglect, if the case. Many children will have a change in normal behavior when they are being molested. Either become angry or withdrawn, abnormal sleeping patterns, crying spells, afraid of darkness amoung other signs. There is a good list posted on here for signs to look out for. Most children being abused will have emotional problems as well as physical. Have you noticed anything other than her crying when returning? Her crying episodes does not really justify her being molested because many children get anything they want when with the non-custodian parent and often will cry when parting them.

I will advice you definately have your daughter examine and watch and note her emotional behavior. Be sure to inform any changes in her behavior to the medical staff. Please keep us updated on your outcomes.
Jan 18, 2010
 Fear of reporting abuse
by: Anonymous

Some fear reporting sexual abuse and not being able to prove it is a major concern, especially when the alleged abuser, threatens and goes through with filing for custody after you make the allegation. Not being able to prove sexual abuse, when you know your own child is not behaving the way a normal child would and showing signs of sexual abuse is bad enough, when the father convinces the court that the mother is making it all up and paint a bad picture. There are many mothers out here losing custody to the other parent) because their allegations were not proven. First things first. What I suggest to you mothers out there, if you truly believe in God, that you go to a private room, close the door, and ask God aloud in prayer for help. Make sure that your motives are in sync with the Lord's. In other words, do not pray for bad things to happen to the perpetrator and don't make a judgment. That means you want someone to be hurt and so that's a bad motive. That's not your job or judgment call. Instead, pray for safety and protection over your child's physical and emotional well being, and ask for favor on you and your child in the courtroom. Trust your instincts. Take your child to a medical provider that specializes in examinations of children of sexual abuse (do your research) and ask for a confidential examination. Change pediatricians if your pediatrician has not encountered sexual abuse cases. Make sure the pediatrician you choose specializes in behaviorial studies and has had experience in studying children who have been sexually abused (at all ages, from infancy through 17); make sure that those visits are also confidential. Do not accuse the perpetrator with your mouth or in writing until you have confirmation from the medical provider, or it may backfire on you. Sexual abuse is not just penetration of a child's genitalia. It can also be inappropriate touching, or allowing the child to watch pornography. If you see it happen, it may be hard to prove, but report it anyway. Non-verbal children have a way of showing the rest by their behavior. Don't let the observations go unreported. If you are afraid that the abuser may hurt you for telling on him, tell that to Child Protective Services, and tell them why are you afraid. If he is gang member, drug dealer or just violent with a bad temper and he possesses weapons, and if he's shown his violent side to you, say all of that, be specific, and make plans to move to a protected environment. Sacrifice and ride it out for the safety of you and your child. Also, if you were afraid to report something that happened to you or your child long ago for whatever reason, find the courage to step up and report it now. There is no statute of limitations (in some places) for reporting abuse, whether it's a month or 26 years later. Do not bear that on your conscious. Regardless of what challenges you might face in proving the truth of the allegation, the truth will set you and/or the victim free.
Feb 27, 2010
 My 3 year old daughter
by: Anonymous

So the start of all this was over the past summer. My daughter spends a day or 2 each week at her grandparents house. She had never had any issues with that until they started working opposite shifts. If we pulled into the driveway and just grandpa's car was there she would scream and say she didn't want him. If grandma was there she was fine. She is extremely attached to her grandma so we attributed the crying to the fact that she would just rather be with grandma.

Lately, a few warning signs have come about. The other day, as her mom was getting into the shower, my daughter went and grabbed her playschool digital cam that she never plays with and ran into the bathroom. She pulled the curtain and started taking pictures and laughing. There have been a few times where her mom will be changing and she thinks its funny to stick her finger in her moms butt. We never laugh if she does things like that and explain to her that nobody should be doing this. We can't figure out if she is just being a silly 3 year old or if she is acting out all of these things like she sees them before.

Lastly, i was folding laundry and a pair of her underwear had a couple small spots of dried blood. I was just told by my fiance that those underwear came from grandma and grandpas because they had just bought her new Dora ones. I have also noticed that everytime she stays there she ends up taking a bath. Now we bathe her daily but what does she need to take a bath there for if she is just spending the night while i'm at work and she hasn't even played or anything?

Additionally, she has a moderate hearing loss in both ears so she is behind on vocab as she adjusts to having hearing aids. So how should I go about talking to her or finding more info on this situation?
Mar 29, 2010
 almost 3 year old girl
by: jamie

im so frustrated i think my daughter is being molested by her father. i know in my heart something is wrong. i have called social services numorous times. they say unless there is evidence or my daughter tells them something is happening they cant do anything. and that i have to let her go to her dads. ive had her in for a sane exam. my daughter talks about uncle .... poking her butt. she calles her dad uncle .... why i dont know. she constantly plays with her self. i cought her humping her bed rail in her room. she says somethings in there pointing at her butt. my daughter came home from his house last march with really red privates and then her dad didnt take her for 8 weeks. she pulls peoples hands to her vagina and tells people tickle me here.. i called cops in dec talked to a detective... nothing happened then social services and nothing. i have her in to c a phycologist but nothing yet. during her sane exam she started yelling dont hurt my butt!i just dont know what to do? whats left to do? my dughter wakes up in the night screaming...talks about monsters. she went from being potty trained to wetting her pants and her bed.. she used to be so nice and sweet now we have to get rid of animals bc she is sooo mean to them. she is always talking about her butt. she talks about her boobs she say i have beebs look at my beebs..im just so frustrated! ive even requested mediation to try to get supervised visitation. but they tell me unless there is proof or she tells proffesional something i wont get the s.v.im not talking about here or there my daughter is always doing something unapropriate for a almost 3 year old.. she ran outta bathroom naked screaming im taking pictures... why??? i dont know what else to do??? im so scared for her i know something is wrong! please try to help me and give me advise!! thanks, jamie
Mar 30, 2010
 Almost 3 year old girl
by: Cathy

I feel its safe to assume something is not right here. Your daughter tells you that "uncle is poking my butt" is in its fact that she has told you that he has done something to her. You need to contact Social Services again and call the police to report sexual assualt against your daughter. You should not tell them you think he is molesting her but that he IS molestating. They are extremely busy and will tell you anything if they feel you may be an over protective mother so its important that you let them know from the beginning that your daughter told you that daddy (uncle) hurts because he sticks things in her butt. You must be graphic. Do not wonder or not if its true. If you know it to be than state it for what it is and demand protection or threaten (and DO) call the local news in your city. Sometimes they need a little force to do their work. Good luck and let me know how things go.
Mar 31, 2010
 almost 3 year old little girl
by: jamie

i took her sunday night when she got back from her dads to the hosp for a sane exam. bc she came back and her private areas had a bad rash. and she had some white discharge. they did the exam and kept her clothing. the sane nurse told me that there were no abrasions in her. but sent cultures and clothes to state crime lab.also they told me she had a bad U.T.I. and that yea there was a rash. they also contacted county her dad is from and the same detective that i had already talked to in dec. havent heard anything else from them. i called social services in county i live in and they called me today and said there is nothing that they can do they are not even going to investigate... i just dont understand why they dont do something. do a thouro investigation..do there job... or why they dont think that something is wrong with what my daughter is telling me. why is it that if i where to have a doubt about anyone else (cargiver grandparent, teacher, anyone else) i could stop my daughter from being around that person but bc its her dad i have to send her still. i dont get it. i have real concerns! my little girl has woke up everynight this weeek since comming home sunday screaming about monsters in her bed.. ive called social services 3 times since dec. i just dont get it!!!!

when we took her to hosp we had to go past her dads house and as soon as we turned on his streat she started screaming im not going to skylors thats her sisters name.. then durning the exam when they were doing exam on her butt she started hollering dont hurt my butt dont hurt my butt. why am i the only one who sees something wrong with this???
Jun 19, 2010
 conserned granmother
by: Anonymous

my grandson is almost 4 in the last 6 months his behavior at day care has been uncontrolable and at home. he started always wanting to play diaper change and looking in other kids diapers.the other day i am at his house and he asked me to kiss his bottom, more than once! I told my daughter she acted like that was normal for a toddler,not to me! He does spend time away at his dads every other week,another thing he,s been doing is pooping in his pants which he,s been potty trained.
Jun 20, 2010
 Response to....Concerned my toddler is being sexually abused...
by: Anonymous

Hello. I first want to state that I am not a profession in child abuse. From what I can tell it doesn't seem like your child is being molestated. At the age of 2 children begin to explore sexual identity. It is not uncommon for children of that age to be interested in breasts oe even be curious of other's body parts. There is a fine line between normal sexual identity and acting out due to abuse. Because you mentioned that your son has problems deficating and is possibly torn than I would definately recommend you seek medical attention to rule out any obstructions or the possibility of abuse. Your instincts or cautions you feel toward your father should be taken seriously. Overall, I think your child is expressing normal sexual identity and is perhaps having severe complications due to constipation. I would still seek professional help to confirm that is all it is. You can take your son to the emergency room and they would have to treat him. They would bill you and you could pay as little as 10.00 per month until you got it paid off. Please keep us informed. Thank you and good luck.
Jun 21, 2010
 concerned babysitter
by: Anonymous

I am a mother of 22 month old girl and I babysit a 19 month old girl 3 times a week for 3hrs a day. I will call the 19th month old Maggi. Maggi does not like her diaper changed when she poops and clenches up a little when I clean her. I have seen a weird bump in that area on two occasions. Her mother even asked me if Maggie acted weird when I change her diaper. I am not sure who all Maggie has contact with but I personally feel her Grandpa is a creep. I am related to this fly by marriage and I attend church with this fly also so causing problems are not my agenda. Are these signs of sexual abuse and what should I do?
Jun 22, 2010
 Concerned Babysitter
by: Anonymous

Hello. First I want to say that I am not professional in sexually abused children. I would agree with you that this seems a little odd. Has this child had any changes in behavior (becoming aggressive or the opposite becoming withdrawn and shy). Does this child appear freightened by the fact of having her diaper changed?

Sometimes children will do this if they are often told not to let anyone take their clothing off or not to allow anyone to touch them down there. I believe she is to young to comprehend this at her early age so I do not think this is why she is acting this way.

I cannot tell or suspect that the child you babysit is being abused or not but obviously she there is something wrong. Therefore, it is the mother's responsibility to have her checked out my her pediatrician. It could very well be an inflammation of her intestines causing pain.

Sorry I cannot provide you with more details on whether or not it may be that she is being sexually assualted. Without more signs of the child behavior changing it is hard to rule sexual abuse on what you've told me.
Jul 21, 2010
 3 year old son
by: Anonymous

My son just turned 3. I am aware of the multitude of children who are sexually abused...and that most cases are never reported. Simply because of this, the fact that I have a boyfriend who is not my son's father, and I don't always know who is around my son when his father has him...I questioned my son. Let me say first that I really had no reason for suspecting anything prior to my questioning him. He is a happy child...throws fits of course, but he's 3. He does cry for no reason when he's tired, but I suppose that is normal too. He isn't scared of anyone...has great social skills. He tells me he loves my boyfriend. He loves when he comes over and he will play with him for hours. He has no problem being around him and most times even prefers playing with him over me. Well, I asked my son if anyone had ever touched his "peepee" or hurt his "peepee." He said "_____ did momma...right here" and clutched the tip of his penis. He even went as far as to say "look momma...right here...__ did." He was very outspoken about it. He didn't actually say so and so hurt me here but he said just what I typed. Up to this point, I thought this guy was great and I thought my son did too. Not "too good to be true" but just a good person who loved me and my son. I questioned him about it face to face and he looked me right in the eye (for the most part) and told me he had never inappropriately touched my son. He said it was possible that he could have accidentally hurt him there (because they wrestle and play like boys do). He began to tear up and said he couldn't believe he was being accused of this. My common sense is telling me that the answer is right in front of my face...but when you are actually put in this situation it is hard to believe. Any thoughts on this? I don't want to talk to anyone I know about this right now.
Jul 22, 2010
 Response to the mother of the 3 Year Old Son
by: Anonymous

You are in a difficult situations. A child at the age of 3 not only will have a difficult time understanding what you are asking him but also in defining the answer. My first impression was that your son was touching his peepee there because you mentioned the name and he was not sure what you were asking him to say or do so he did the only thing he knew of the communication. Children this young usually have psychological problems that are difficulting sleeping or waking up fearful, suddenly becoming afraid of the dark, urinating or deficating in their pants, noticeable change in behavior. I would suggest you observe the two closely when together and look for your son acting out. Usually when children a abused they will act out the episode as if playing a game. For the most part, I think he's okay and is just having a difficult time expressing the answers you are asking. It is simply better to tell him that no-one is allowed to touch his private parts because at his age that's easier to understand. Hope this helps.
Jul 22, 2010
 3 Year Old Son
by: Anonymous

Thank you so much. That actually did help. I figured I would get a response that I was crazy for not immediately believing and reading into what he said. My son seems perfectly normal physically, mentally, and behaviorally. It's just very scary to consider and makes me second guess having any men at all around him. I'm a pretty paranoid person...runs in my family. I broke down and discussed it with my best friend and she too thought he may have been just answering me the best he knew how. She thought maybe he mentioned my boyfriend because he spends a lot of time with and is very involved with both of us. I will definitely watch the two of them together more closely and keep from leaving the two alone before I decide on any action. Thanks again!
Jul 30, 2010
 3 yr old step daughter
by: worried step mom

I am concerned about a couple things that are going on with my step daughter. Me and my husband went to court trying to get custody of this little girl and was denied due to the fact she called me mommy. Her mom let us get her in june of 09 and we had her basically until she came back into the state in Dec 09. Her mom moved to another state and is engaged to a guy in jail for sexual assault and not just a very good mother. She is hardly ever around my step daughter now and we really do not know who watches her because she lives 2 and 1/2 hours away. here lately there are signs i am concerned about. There have been times she has been caught "riding" her stuffed puppy dog in a sexual manner, she has recently started pinching her nipples a lot, always grabbing her private area, and now recently me and my husband have found a cut on the inside of her labia, and she has told my mother when she was peeing that it hurt and my mother asked what hurts and she said her cookoo hurts and that meemaw cut it. when i try to wash her private in the bath tub she pushes away and says it hurts and points to her privates. My step daughter i s3 but she can not talk that great. So the things she says i dont see how she could make it up. I am just confused and i do not know what to do. Am i just over reacting? When we had her the whole time she never acted like this but since she has been back with her mother she has changed alot. PLEASE help
Jul 31, 2010
 3 yr old step-daughter
by: Anonymous

I am no child psychiatrist but will do my best to anser your concerns. First, the husband or boyfriend that is jail due to sexual assualt against a child is not in danger of harming the child (at this point). I do not know the intent of his sexual assault so cannot address that issue because in some states a man older than 18 that has consentual sex with a 17 year old is illegal. I cannot tell if this person has an interests in toddlers and do not want to label him of that because he has a sexual assault. Second thing is children do express sexual interest with there own bodies. For a toddler to hump a stuff animal and pull on their nipples are perfectly normal. This behavior is more offensive in society and looked down upon and discouraged but the truth is its perfectly normal and natural. The adults turn it into a bad situation. As far as her private areas hurting it is possible that she was experiencing with herself and created her own pain. I do not know but the next time she is with you I would suggest taking her to a doctor and addressing your concerns to rule out infection or other problem. You must also take what the child says about blaming others with a grain of salt as children of that age very rarely accept responsiblity for anything they consider wrong. She may have been scolded for her sexual-identity acts from her mother and this is why she said her mother cut her (if it happen during her sexual identity experiences) because she did not want to say it happened doing that and get into trouble for it. I hope this makes sense. This topics are sometimes difficult to express. I would also recommend you look up and read about child sexual-identity. It may help. Good luck!
Aug 01, 2010
 2 year old grandaughter possible abuse question
by: Anonymous

Hello....I desperately need guidance and input.

My daughter came to my husband and I over the weekend and told us she was changing our two year old grandaughter diaper the other day. My grandaughter asked her Aunt to "touch it" while changing her and her Aunt said "no, no" that is not appropriate". Then the Aunt asked the two year old if anyone has touched her "down there" and the grandaughter replied "yes" When asked who, my grandaughter replied by saying "xxxx(name of other grandmother) and then she said "it hurts".

Could our grandaughter be confused? Is this normal for a two year old? Could she be roll playing?

Please someone help us. What do we do next to protect are precious two year old grandaughter from an abusive grandmother? How do we prove such a thing?
Aug 11, 2010
 my neice
by: Anonymous

my sister is going thru the legal channels for visitation to be stopped. My neice who is 4 1/2 told her mom last year, that her dad touched her peepee to see how deep it was. that was on a sunday, the next day my neice repeated that same statement to her grandmother. she was taken to the hospital and dyfis got involved. her father was not charges, because there is no physical evidence. we were told if a finger was used, there would be no evidence. she was 3 1/2 at the time this occured. has anyone ever had to battle this in court and was visitation discontinued? the police departmnet feels he is guilty, but he lawyered up before he would take a lie detector test.
please help.
Aug 12, 2010
 Response to "My Neice"
by: Anonymous

Hello and thank you for posting your concerns. First let me say that each state follows regulations differently. I can say that most states do not take lightly to such accusation when spoken from the child. Is this child in therapy? It is considered routine to verify the consistency of the child?s story and to see if she will re-enact the episode through playing. This is very creditable in court. I did have this happen to my niece when she was three and pretty much the same thing happened to her. She said daddy touched her pee-pee and hurt her. There was no physical evidence so the case was based solely on the child's statements. She was immediately removed from the home until the mother could provide a safe haven with the absence of the father. He was not allowed to have any contact with her, not in person, by phone, or mail. It was ordered no contact until the child reached 18 and capable of making the decision whether or not to see him than. My niece is 22 today and about a month ago we briefly talked about what happened to her when she was younger. She told us she will never forget feeling scared every night her mother left for worked and it haunts her every day. I hope everything works out and your sister has the child away from the abuser and gets professional help for the child. This will not only help the child but will also build a stronger case for court. Have your sister get involved with child protective agency, they will automatically provide the services. Good luck and keep us posted.
Aug 30, 2010
 Is my 3 year old being sexually abused by my boyfriend?
by: Anonymous

I don't know what to do or what to think. Yesterday, I asked my boyfriend to take my daughter to the playground that's in our complex for a little bit while I stayed home and finished up some work that I had to do. Well, they left sometime before dusk. When it got dark outside, I became concerned because they weren't home yet, so I called him to make sure everything was ok and he said that they were fine, she was playing and it was safe outside - that they could be out there for another 10 - 15 minutes.....I hesitated, but said ok....but then 5 minutes later, I changed my mind (thought it was odd that he'd want to be out there in the dark with my child) and told him to bring her home now. When they got home, my daughter seemed fine....nothing out of the ordinary, except I saw a wet spot on her pants and asked her if she pee-pee'd on herself. She told me "yes". But this didn't seem like pee because it was just a little bit of liquid and not a lot. I was still very concerned and so many thoughts ran through my mind.....so, when I was putting her to bed that night, I asked her "did (my boyfriend) touch you here"? I pointed to her private part and she said "yah." I said, are you sure? She kept on saying "yah." But then she said everybody touches me there - mommy, grandma, babysitter and she said my boyfriend's name too. OMG....what do I do? I took her to a friends house while I sort out what to do because I don't want her around him - but how do I know if she's telling the truth or not? She has lied about things before. I don't see anything abnormal about her behavior except that she doesn't sleep very well at night, but she's always been like that, even before I moved in with my boyfriend. Do I confront him about it? Just go straight to the police? Help! I feel so bad and stupid!
Aug 31, 2010
 Concerned mother of 3 years old daughter.
by: Anonymous

I see nothing in what you stated to indicate that your boyfriend has done anything wrong to led you to accuse him of that. Your daughter is only 3 and cannot connect what you are asking her so of course she would say yeah. If you ask her if some other male you know has touched her there and you know there is no possible way this person could have touched her, I bet you she will tell you they have touched her there too.

I am pleased you consider these things when exposing your daughter to others but don't jump to harshly. If your still worried than wait awhile and look for behavioral changes that happen abruptly and completely out of character for her. Hope this helps.
Sep 04, 2010
 4 year old daughter...
by: Anonymous

The other day my daughter came out of the bathroom with a pencil hanging out of her viginia, i was completely shocked she would do something like that. She also has rashes and infections in her private area i cant even give her a bath. She sees her father a few times a week and she screams and cries she doesnt want to go, me and my husband just got divorced. She also has alot of nightmares. Im very concerned about my daughter and want her to be safe... I mean if there is nothing wrong, like if she isnt being abused, where would a 4 year old get an idea to stick a pencil up her vigina??? is she being abused, did she see that from somewhere?? or is it a result of being abused.
Sep 20, 2010
 is this all in my head i dont know anymore please help
by: Anonymous

my ex partner was having sex with me while i was heavily sedated on medication for how long he was doing this i will never know my 6 year old girl was in the bed when it happened she used to come in through the night she drew me a picture of her being in the bed i was horrified and asked her father if he ever touched my little girl he became distaught and began sobbing how could i think that and that my little girl must have walked in on us but i have no memory of anything as i was to sedated i was totally controlled by this man since the age of 17 he was 33 he said he created me and he did as did my father i somehow managed to find the courage to end it he frightens me in that he is very clever at playing mind games and manipulating me i allowed my daughter to stay over at his a couple of nights a week she seemed ok on visiting and ok coming back but somethings lately have changed she is having screaming tantrums she hits her head and says she is stupid and its all her fault she put a lipstick in her mouth and started sucking it she keeps saying pooh and butt she said she saw a naked woman and man on the telly and that they were kissing she said she was being locked in the flat and told some elaborate story which i found out was lies she then said he locked her in to go down to the bin i am constantly questioning her she said no one is touching her and she is safe at her dads .i dont know what is real anymore im confused by all this.the thoughts are constantly in my head everyday every night i sometimes feel i will end up in a psychiatric unit again as i have a severe mental illness but iam fighting it for the sake of my children.
Sep 24, 2010
 Re: 4 year old daughter...
by: Confused Mama

I have a VERY similar situation. My husband and I have been divorced for a year now and my daughter goes over there every other weekend. When he was 16 he had sexual relations with a 12 year old, and since then has always seemed (even when we were married) to like younger girls. My four year old daughter has had 6 UTIs in 2 months. She constantly has rashes whenever she comes back from her father's house, which I thought was because he would just put her in a diaper (even though she was doing great potty training and only have maybe one accident every couple days). Today, she took a pen and started trying to stick it into her vagina. I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "put it in there?" I had also noticed her playing with herself sometimes and taking her panties off to do it. I first thought maybe she just found herself down there and was exploring, because I know that sometimes happens. But I am concerned about the whole pen situation and her asking to put it in. She doesn't cry when going over to her father's or really when she goes to grandparents either. She has regressed to wetting and having many accidents. She wakes up crying in the middle of the night for no reason. She has become more aggressive, but that could be due to the fact that she takes Albuterol for her asthma (a steroid). Is this pen thing something that should be a concern? And if it is, I do not even know who would be doing this to her because she doesn't get scared or crying showing that someone might be hurting her. What should I do?
Sep 30, 2010
 3 1/2 daughter molested by father
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 3 1/2. Her father and i seperated when she was 1. We have no court order or custody rulings. He gets her one week and i get her the next until she starts pre-school, when she will be with me most of the time. She exhibits alot of what i would consider to be normal toddler behavior like occasionally touching herself and removing the clothes from her dolls. She does however show signs of depression, saying things like, "i'm not good enough or i'm not smart or pretty or i'll be bad at that." She never wants to try new things.
Yesterday, i saw her sticking one of her toys between her legs and i asked why she was doing that. She told me, "this is how we tease her". When i asked where she had heard that she told me she made it up, but i can't see why she would associate the word "tease" with her genitals. Just doesn't get exposure to things like that. All she watched is Barney and Word World.
Later on in the day. she told me her peanut (her word for her privates. she won't tell me who calls it that) hurt. So i told her to take her panties off and lay down. I saw no signs of infection or swelling. but the whole time i was just checking her she was very nervous, to the point of crying and squeezing her legs closed. The follwing is our conversation, with her answers in quotes and my questions in caps:
WHY ARE YOU SO SCARED? "I don't like it when you touch my peanut"
HAS ANYONE ELSE EVER TOUCHED YOUR PEANUT? "Yes, daddy touches my peanut"
WITH WHAT? "His finger."
IS HE DOING IT TO CHECK YOU OR PUT MEDICINE ON YOU? "no."
ARE YOU IN THE BATHROOM WHEN HE DOES IT? "no. it's at night in his bed when we are going to sleep"
ARE YOU WEARING PANTIES WHEN HE DOES IT? "No, but he only does it a little."
WHY DOES HE SAY HE DOES IT? "because he loves me"

i left it at that. I've called the police and she has an appointment with the CPS tomorrow. I'm just wondering, anyone who read this: With regards to her age and her explained behavior, What are the chances she is making this up?
Oct 04, 2010
 Not too sure if it is or what to do?
by: Anonymous

I picked my 21mnth old daughter up from childcare abit later than I normally do and she was really keen for me to pick her up (more than usual).She was happy seeing her grandad when he drove us home and hugged him alot.I ran her a bath and took her trousers off,she seemed reluctant to have the nappy taken off and when she was naked she started crying severly and didnt want to be cleaned on her privates.Her grandad came into see what she was crying for and she started crying more and couldnt even look at him.She had a look of fear on her face when i tried to wash her privates and tears wer streaming down her face so I took her out.I dont think my dad is abusing her,I feel it is the childcare centre staff,she was covered in food on her top and face.They had changed her trousers.But i looked at the trousers she went in and they were clean and not wet off water or anything.Yet they left her in a food covered top and didnt change that.My daughter never usually cries and loves her grandad to pieces.Her grandad felt a bad feeling about it and he said I think its coz Im a man.She wouldnt take her head off my shoulder for crying and trying to avoid looking at him.She is an intelligent little girl and is what so out of character.It was the first time anything like this has happened at the child care centre altho i find their care of her a very poor standard so I will be changing to another place but I cant help but think is there anything i can do incase someone elses child has this happen and there is abuse.My dad said to get her examined at the Doctors,she was red on her privates but that could be the lack of changing her nappy,they let her play in the sand then dont clean her afterwards and it could be chaffing.However her face was fearful when going to clean her privates or my dad coming in the room,shes only done that face before when shes been really afraid
Oct 05, 2010
 Poss. assault of daycare facility
by: Anonymous

I think your dad is correct that you should have your daughter examined. Also, depending on her age, some daycare teach children that no one is to touch or see them undressed and this sometimes causes confusion with who is actually okay to do so....mommy, daddy, doctors, etc.

If she's old enough you can try talking about what happened in school or does she know a special secret that she is NOT allowed to tell and if so who is this secret with.

Also, look on this site for symptoms of children who are sexually abused. Remember, no two children are alike and their behavior will differ greatly.

Whenever in doubt...seek help!! Take your daughter to be examined.
Oct 07, 2010
 18 month old with some symptoms?
by: worried grandma

Ok, so glad I found this site! My grandchild, for the past month, will grab her private area and say hurt with a hurt look on her face. Her great grandma who watches her everyday said she notices she does that at times too. I voiced my concerns to my daughter and she also was wondering why? She is living with her boyfriend who seems ok but a couple of months ago, he watched her (I usually do) on a weekend when my daughter was working. I came over not long after my daughter got home to see them and the minute I came in the door, she said that baby had been acting totally out of character and was very clingy with her mom. I went over to her and she just grabbed me and hugged me for what seemed like forever. At that time, she was about 16 months old and that I thought was strange. I wanted to help my daughter out so I thought I would give baby a bath. She usually loves it the minute you say bath. I ran the water and she was just hanging onto me again. When I sat her in the water, she started screaming and thats when I looked at her private area and noticed a horrible rash! I told my daughter about it and she asked the boyfriend if he had kept up on changing her and of course, he said yes. Well, this past weekend daughter calls me and tells me baby is grabbing her crotch and crying saying HURT! So I told her to take her to the hospital to see if she had a UTI, this had been going on for a month. No evidence of a UTI and I do not know the extent to which the doc examined her. I don't know if he looked for signs of abuse or just targeted the UTI symptoms. I just have a feeling for some reason and the more people I talk to about her grabbing herself and saying hurt, 6 ppl. think she may be getting sexually molested. HELP! All these things have happened either the day the boyfriend has watched her or the day after.
Oct 12, 2010
 i need help!!!!!
by: Anonymous

my daughter has not been eating like she usualy does and today when i got home from work she told me she needed to go potty so when i pulled her pull-up off there was a dab of blood, when i wiped her there was a tad bit more.she also said ouch and her area is red,its not real red but it is not the normal color. i was told she fell off her jumping thing but noone was in the room when it happened so i dont think that could be what caused it. she doesnt act like she is scared of the one who i think could be doing it if it is happening she doesnt cry but she does want held more adn wants me more than ever...i just dont know and i dont know how to go about having her looked at. someone please help me and give me ideas on what to do!!!!
Oct 13, 2010
 18 month old w/ symptoms
by: Anonymous

I think you need to take your daughter to the doctors to be examined. Your daughter may have yeast infection. Many parents think it's just a rash but it's not. It will not go away without medication and it is very painful. Yeast infections are common and a child can get them from many different reasons.

Typically children that are sexually assualted have very abrupt behavior changes which it does not seem to be the case here so in order to be sure I would have her checked.
Oct 13, 2010
 response to "i need help".
by: Anonymous

If you want to help your daughter than please take her to be checked by a physician. It is not normal for a child to be spotting and could be caused from a fall, sexual assualt, or something else. In any case, she needs to be chaecked....now!
Nov 30, 2010
 afraid 3year old daughter was sexually assulated
by: Anonymous

my 3year old daughter went for a drive with her grandpa who she totally adores and vice verse my daughter isnt fully potty trained so if she leaves with her grandpa i let her wear i diaper but when the got back my father inlaw said that my daughter urinated on his lap but she was still wearing her diaper i didnt take any notice of it as my daughter went to sleep just minutes after coming home but when she woke up she said that her virgina was sore then i checked it out and it looked pretty normal to me when i asked her who hurt her virgina she said her pa i have never had reason to suspect that he would hurt my daughter she is speaks very well for her age so im worried although the is no redness,swelling,bleeding or discharge she keeps complaining that her virgina is sore the thought has crossed my mind that she could have maggots but i cant understand how she could have peed on his lap if she was wearing a diaper what should i do
Dec 17, 2010
 my princess
by: Anonymous

my 1 1/2 year old goes to her dads 2 days a week. him and i have not been together since before i had her. he seems to be a good dad to her and loves her but there have been odd things as in when she came back from his house one day and i was getting her into the bath she started saying "nakie" when i was undressing her. she has been grabbing at her girly parts everytime she can and she has devloped an attitude (which i know could be terriable 2's and she has discovered these different parts on herself so she is curious) but she always has a rash on her butt cheeks and that could also be from a babysitter or her dad not changing her or wiping her enough (i work) and just today she was grabbing her chest and saying "nipples" which i think is totally not right to teach a 1 1/2 year old. (she was at her dads yesterday so i know thats where it came from) she shouldnt be running around saying "nipples". now i dont know if these are signs of abuse or maybe him just being stupid and teaching her that kind of stuff but should i be worried? we are going through court right now because i am trying to move out of the state so i dont know if i should bring this up to my laywer or what? sometimes she will just let out a cry in the middle of the night in her sleep and other times when she is awake she doesnt even want me to get her out of her crib. i love my daughter and want to protect her and i am not around her father enough to see how he acts with her when he is at home. like i said he seems to be good with her but these things are disturbing me a little to the point of being a bit curiouse.
Dec 23, 2010
 princess
by: Anonymous

i wouldnt be to terribly concerned. i went through this with my daughter. she started masterbating and odd things like that. she even told me her dad had touched her. i called social services and they will do nothing because she wouldnt tell them it was happening and there was no proof. she had the same thing your daughter has red butt which turns out it was exzema that later spread everywhere. she still gets red butts now but dr says its from her not wiping herself well enough. i have taken my daughter to a councilor that specializes in children and she told me that at this age it is very normal for a child to discover their body and masterbate. as far as her knowing the word nipples ... that could have come from tv. what does he allow her to watch.. it only takes one time for the child to pick it up. i wouldnt worry about it. if you have serious concerns take her to her doctor and explain your worries and they can take a quick look and see if anything is suspicious. they wont do a sane exam but they will take a look. that way if nothing is going on and it turns out your just overly protective (which is a good thing) then you dont look like a fool and your child wont have the terrible experience of a sane exam. GOOD LUCK TO YOU! hope this helps
Jan 02, 2011
 Desperately in need of opinion- My 1 Year Old Daughter
by: Anonymous

I don't know if I am being paranoid because I was molested as a child, but a friend of mine that I've known for a long time, older man, has been stopping by for visits. Because of what I went through, and because I feel so strongly about protecting children, I am very conscientious about who I let into our lives.
I did notice my friend seemed to need to control her while interacting with her in front of me. (Saying, "Give me that" and taking her toys, then giving them back) While it really annoyed me, I didn't think too much of it.
Twice I have been busy doing something (once it was cooking, the other time was a quick shower) and left my daughter alone with him. This alone time was for maybe 5 to 8 minutes. He came over yesterday and my daughter was suddenly obsessed with her two push toys. They are like little push brooms and they make little noises. She has always been REALLY in to these toys. (She's not autistic-she's very social and always makes lots of eye contact.) But this time she was pushing them all over the apartment almost the whole time he was here. I've never seen anything like it. He said, "I wonder what happened to her?", and he knows she is always safe in my care. She pushed them, sometimes both at the same time. She has done that before, too, but never for such a long period of time. She played like this for about an hour, took a nap, then continued to play like this for most of his entire visit. When I picked her up for bath and bedtime, she still had a hold of those toys.
I woke early in the morning and googled signs of toddler molestation, and what grabbed me was this article talking about repetitive behavior, excluding regular child playing. Does this count? She wakes up gently crying in the night now, but that started recently right after we moved. Also, our heater is on at night and makes very loud noises that sometimes wake me up. She doesn't wake completely up and goes right back to sleep. She didn't really breastfeed when he was over. She waited until he left. She also has developed a new fear of loud noises since the loud vacuum cleaner went on next to her without any warning.
Am I paranoid? I am terrified. I don't know what to do. She doesn't have any strange rashes or anything like that.
Please, if anyone could offer your opinion or thoughts and feelings on the matter, I would greatly appreciate it. Also, my heart goes out to all the parents and family members who's little ones have been abused. I cannot begin to fathom your pain, and I hope I never have to. Give your children lots of love and support. May you all heal and have happy lives.
Jan 05, 2011
 concerns over step daughter
by: Anonymous

Please help! My fiance has a 4 year old from his previous relationship. The relationship ended when the mother moved her new partner in mere days after telling my fiance to leave. My mum in law to b has expressed fears to me which I share. Child has sore red private parts and bottom constantly except when with us or her grandma. She keeps catching thrush and worms (her brother never does) and now wont let anyone wash her, cries in the bath, wont always use potty alone and screams when told its time to go to mums. She has nightmares about 'men' too. R our fears founded or are we over protective? Help us please!
Jan 06, 2011
 step daughter
by: Anonymous

take her to dr right away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell dr your concerns they can do an exam and see if anything is not right...or when u get back from moms look and if butt really red take her to E.r. they will do what is called a sane exam!!! it wont hurt the child ...itll effect u as parents more then her... TRUST ME.... Please do something! i think its strong possibillity she is being molested... dont wait tho take her as soon as u get it back so if there is proof that it can be collected asap! Goodluck
Feb 28, 2011
 My baby girl
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 1 1/2 years old and the other day I was at work so my mother was watching her for me. Later when I got home my mom was very upset and started crying because earlier my daughter had touched herself down there and said ow. So my mom asked her ow? Did meme (what my daughter calls her) give you ow and she just sat there she went through all of my the people the interact with her and still she sat there until my mom asked did papa (what she's calls both of her grandpas) give you ow and my daughter shook her head yes and goes papa ow. She really adores my moms boyfriend but im not sure about the other grandpa. Then she asked her for a kiss but when my mom leaned in to give her one she tryed to push her head downward. I thought maybe cus my daughter is big into giving kisses when your hurt that maybe it was hurt and she just wants it to feel better like kiss my boo boo. That night she had nightmares screaming and crying loudly in her sleep. She didn't wake up fully but she has never done that before. Now that I think about it lately she has been touching down there but I figured it being her exploring like most kids do and she whines and throws fits when I try to change her poopy diapers sometimes. The last 2 weeks she's been waking up in the morning whining and crying which is weird cus usually she's happy but I thought it is cus she's getting teeth in so she's crabby. Please help me!do you think she is being abused? I'm bringing her to the doctor.
Feb 28, 2011
 Stepdaughter
by: Lurlene Mckenney

I believe you have reason to be concerned and I would suggest you take your stepdaughter back to her pediatrician and tell the doctor your concerns (without your stepdaughter present).

Ask your stepdaughter what games are played while at her Mother's to see if you can pick up on something. I do not know the age of this child but you should be careful about asking your child directly if she is being touched directly by this person because they can create a fantasy in the head that this person is hurting them (even if they?re not). You can however ask her if ANYONE has ever touched her in her private parts, just do not identify any certain individual....let her announce the perpetrator to you, (if any).

Another concern is the parasite infestation. Do you or the child's mother have pets that have worms? Usually worms are contracted in children by coming into feces of an infected animal. This is usually in the yard where the pet defecates.

The reason your stepdaughter cries when she's put in bathtub is because she is severely chapped and the warm water burn it. It feels the same as if you had sunburn and then took a hot shower. Try washing her private parts in cool water, dry, and then put Vaseline on her to protect her skin from the warm water when you bath her. You might want to try not putting her directly in the tub filled with warm water but rather in an empty tub and use a wash cloth and cup to rinse her.

Check this website out...there is a lot of useful information and please talk to her doctor. The fact that she has nightmares and behavior changes is concerning and should be taken seriously. Because I do not know her age I cannot elaborate on specifics.

God be with you and the child.

Lurlene Mckenney
Associate Psychology
Mar 08, 2011
 4 year old grandson
by: Anonymous

He is very bright his communication skills are great. He told me that he went to a Christmas party and every body was dancing and he and his cousins were playing in the other room. He said he and [boy x] were partners and his cousins 6yr old [girl y] and [8 yr old girl z] were dancing and lying on top of each other moving. He said he was on top of [boy x], and they were moving there bodies. I asked what was the boys name and he told me. Since then he has been going into an empty bedroom and playing naked with his teddy bear, He has become irritable and different, he closes the door now when he uses the rest room, he states he needs privacy to change his clothes. He is always sticking his buttocks out and patting it, and laugh's. He now touches his penis a lot! He hugs me differently now, I can tell he is pressing his penis against me, while stating, "I just love you so much". It is just so odd, his behavior has changed drastically. One morning i woke up to him under the covers in my bed with the flash light, I felt a cold little touch on my panties, I asked him what are you doing, he said I was looking at you, and I said what else, he said I want to lick you! I asked him how did he know he wanted to kiss me, he said not kiss you, "I want to lick you because, I love you"!I asked him has any one ever touched, or kissed his penis or buttocks? He said no. I asked him does he still play with his little cousin [boy x], he said he is not my little cousin, he is my mommy's friend. He said you told me not to play with him anymore so, I do not. You do not have to talk about it to me again? This has all happened since December. Now in March [ this weekend ]he has a rash around his anus opening. I have never seen a circular rash on a toddler before. My suspicions are that something more than a little boys curiosity and growing up, is going on. His mother is very responsible for her age, she lives with her mother, two sisters, and three little girl cousins. So, a lot of information could be shared between him and the little girls, but not a rash. I did not share my concerns yet. I did inquire about [ boy x], she said it is her oldest brother.
Today I am searching the internet for help. I took a picture of his bottom, told his mother, we agreed to start using baby wipes because he is so independent, but is probably not cleaning him self well. My position is that she has noticed his sexual curiosity, and sleeping with 'Teddy Bear',and she is not concerned. I am concerned...What do I do?
Mar 12, 2011
 10 year old sister
by: Anonymous

My 10 year old sister was molested when she was 5 years old by a family member who was always known to be "not quite all there in the head". When she told my mother that he stuck his finger in her butt my mother freaked out and went to my grandmothers to confront the cousin who was 25 years old at the time...(he lived with my grandmother since he was a baby his mother was and alcoholic and abandoned him.) The whole family took up for this cousin claiming "he didnt know what he was doing.." blah blah blah!!! he did know. he was not as bad off and he tried to make people believe he was. He was manipulative. He would do things and then say he would tell granny that we did them and get us in big trouble when we were little. he tried to touch me and my brother on several occasions. tried to get us far away from the house and stuff and would say he would tell us on that we did something bad if he didnt do what we said..so i KNEW that he did it when my sister came up and said he put his finger in her butt. She knew where, time, what he was wearing, what she was wearing, every word he said..all the details. when my mother left that day and came home and we all tried to decide what we were going to do...she went back the next day to try to convince them again that he did this and she was calling the cops..my grandmother and cousin were gone without a trace. their house was empty..and we never saw them again. (that has been 5 years ago. Until i found him on facebook a few weeks ago.)

My mom took her to the doctor. The doctor examined her and said that he had left a scratch in her bottom but the it was healed. there would be no way they could convict him cause the scratch would have no trace of his dna and the skin would be gone from his nails by that time. UGH!!! so my mom left it at that. A long time after that my sister had dreams..would have to have you with her at night..scream when u tried to put anything as far as cream or powder on her private..she would get very raw because she would wipe when she peed (imagining she just didnt want to touch herself there)..now she is 10. She asked my mom a few weeks ago "mom did someone mess with me when i was little?" My mom said "yes" She said I remember who it was..it was *****." Nothing else was said.

Now i am having this issue with her. She is developing very quickly and could just be exploring but i keep catching her "humping" in her bed. I have 3 kids of my own. My oldest 2 play with her alot. They are 6 and 5. I have caught them humping and asked them where they learned that from and they will say my sister told them about it. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Is there a chance she could molest them? Should i be concerned about them being alone together. I am at a loss. I want to tell my mom i think she needs help but i dont want to hurt her feelings we are very close. HELP ME!
Mar 16, 2011
 3 yr old boy and grandmother
by: Anonymous

Interesting site. I'm confused. My mother -in -law watched my son for 1 yr. after her husband passed away and I had a feeling something was going on because she tickled him in inapproriate places. My teen age daughters would come home from school and he would be runnng around naked. He actually told my oldest daughter that she took him in the bathroom and locked the door and put their mouths on each others privates. Would a 3 yr old make this stuff up? He also knows were babies come out. We have never had that conversation.Please help!!!
Mar 29, 2011
 help me
by: Anonymous

i HAVE A 4 YR OLD DAUGHTER. Me and her dad are seperated headed for divorce. At the age of 3 my daughter has been telling me that her father touches her private parts, licks her, puts his finger in her. She has been to the crescent house for evaluation and nothing has shown up on the reports. I have her going through counseling and she has talked to the counselor about what has been going on. In general talking he says that he would never do nothing like that to his daughter because he loves her. She does not have no visible signs...she acts well in school, does not wet the bed, etc. The only thing she does is have tantrums and start throwing things when she can't get her way but I think thats a typical 4 yr old. What do I need to do? I want her to stop going over there but without proof theres nothing I can really do. I have been over to the house several times to observe and behavior on his and her part seems normal.
Mar 29, 2011
 Grandmother and Son
by: Lurlene Mckenney

I sympathize with your concerns and you should be concerned. If your son told you that his grandmother locked him in the bathroom and sexually assaulted him then I would hope you are not allowing your son around her until you find out whether or not this happened. A 3 year old child has no way of knowing in detail such information as you described unless this was done to him or he saw this behavior somewhere else and is reacting or telling stories due to watch he has seen.

In either case, this child needs to be examined for further indication (or not) of sexual abuse to see if there is any evidence of such claim. This incident also needs to be reported to the child Protective Agency within your county.

I am sorry but due to his explicit details you cannot take this lightly and must act now to protect your child. This is your responsibility after-all.

Please keep us posted of any updates. It will help others here going through the same situation to know what comes after the claims. Thank you and God bless you and your son.
Apr 27, 2011
 My 2 year old
by: Anonymous

I have a 6 year old daughter that was molested a year ago by my niece. She went through 2 months of therapy. The therapist told me she had no concerns that my child would offend on another child. At the time that was my biggest concern because I have a 4 year old boy and a 2 year old daughter. Its been over a year and about six months ago I have seen my 2 year old masterbateing . I asked her if anyone had toughed her private and she said her sister did. I talked to my daughter and she got very upset and said she did touch her little sister, but it was only once. Its been about 4 months since she confessed to touching her little sister, and my 2 year old is still masterbating. I do not let them take baths together and I keep an eye on there play time. I feel that my daughter has not continued to touch her. I have told my 2 year old not to rubbing her private, but she doesn't seem to understand. What should I do, or do you think she is being touched by someone else in the family as well?
May 01, 2011
 wanting to protect my kids
by: Anonymous

The person which I am feeling suspicious about is my brother. He & I are pretty close & talk a lot. He has always loved playing with his nieces & nephews, and they all love playing with him.He can definitely be described as quirky,and at 23 he's now dating his first girlfriend.
I have 2 boys, ages 5 & 3.Since the birth of my first son, he has frequently been available to babysit.My husband felt that he seemed more affectionate than a normal uncle would be, but didn't find it to be abnormal enough to avoid having him babysit.My first son was a very difficult baby.I was constantly holding him & bouncing him on an exercise ball in order to keep him from crying.My first unsettling feeling was when I can home a little earlier than expected and my brother was bouncing my son, while sort of laying down on the ball, with my son sitting on his lap.I thought it was odd, but I know that lots of bouncing can make my back hurt, so I would frequently try adjusting my posture to avoid pain.Most of my son's fussiness was due to stomach issues, lactose & soy intolerance, so he had frequent bouts of constipation.After an ear infection, he was put on antibiotics & had diarrhea.On his follow-up, I took him back to the doctor & discussed his red bottom & a new skin tag coming out of his anus.The doctor inspected it a little more thoroughly than on his well-child exams & said that it was a skin tag that formed likely from the diarrhea.
For the next couple of years, my brother continued to babysit, with no problems, although I sometimes still felt unsettled.About a year ago, he began to decline to babysit the children & became very depressed.I talked about my suspicious feelings with my husband, who thought I was being overly cautious, but thought that my brothers depression was an issue, so we agreed that we would just not ask him to babysit anymore.Sometimes,though, I would ask my mom to babysit & she would sort of obligate my brother to babysit without me knowing, so I felt really strange about leaving my kids with him after I decided not to.My brother's depression became more extreme, to the point of never coming around at all for several months.During this time, there was a period of 3-4 days where my husband & I witnessed both of our children doing odd things. I walked out of the bathroom a moment while they were in the bath, when I returned my older son had my younger son on his lap & was kissing his back & shoulders. The next evening, my older son was getting out of the bath & my younger son stuck his tongue out and leaned forward toward my older sons behind.I was shocked and yelled at him (mistake),so my husband & I started incorporating talking time into our nightly bedtime routine, where we occassionally ask them questions & they are allowed to ask us any questions.
May 01, 2011
 wanting to protect my kids contd.
by: Anonymous

There were no other issues until very recently. since my brother got together with his girlfriend, he has seemed to come out of the depression and come around more frequently again, with no issues. The other night, I asked my mom to babysit. She agreed, but I later called to chat with my brother, who informed me that he was babysitting for me. I felt a little uneasy, but not as much as before.
That evening, after I came home & went to bed, both children came into my bed multiple times wanting to sleep with me. Although each has gone through a phase of this, it is very unusual now. The following day, both of my children had pain going to the bathroom. My older son 'sharted' (for lack of a better term) in his pants before he went to the bathroom & complained of pain, so I assumed the pain was hygiene-related. That evening, while getting ready for bath, I saw that area was severly inflamed & made a comment about a really bad case of red-bum & talked to him about cleaning up properly after the restroom. My younger son then said that my brother said that he had a "red & pink bum." I asked him when he said it & the older one jumped in saying "he didn't say that!" I continued to ask more questions of both of them, not getting any information, but both children seemed to be covering something up. Last night my younger son awoke multiple times complaining of monsters.
I couldn't sleep, so I decided that I should definitely not have my brother watch the kids anymore. This morning I called my mom & told her that I had unsubtantiated feelings that my brother may be touching my kids, but that I didn't want him babysitting anymore. I wouldn't have mentioned it to her, except that she would use him as a substitute when she couldn't make it last minute. I wanted to make it clear that I didn't want to be in the uncomfortable situation of her asking him to babysit, then I telling him nevermind. My mom became angry at this & now won't answer my calls.
Does it seem as if I'm overreacting/underreacting?? I am of the opinion that he doesn't need to know my suspicions, I just won't let him be alone with my kids. I love him, but I don't want to keep thinking this about him?
Any thoughts?
May 02, 2011
 2 Year Old Masturbating
by: Lurlene

Hello. First let me say that I am sorry to hear that your 4 year old was molested by her aunt. That is very traumatizing for a child. I'm glad you got her into therapy right away.

Now, as for your 2 year old child, I would suggest you talk to your pediatrician to see what she/he recommends. She may need to talk to a therapist to see if she is acting out due to being molested herself or if she is just acting on her own self-identity. It is not uncommon for very small children to masturbate. Actually most children behave this way as they explore their bodies and notice changes but usually without others being aware of it because their discreet cause they hear others being told and/or themselves that touching or rocking is wrong.

Considering your situations with your other child being molested then I would say to definitely have her checked to be sure it's nothing. Good luck

Lurlene
Psychological Tech.
Aug 15, 2011
 this is keeping me up at night
by: Anonymous

I have been married for about a year and a half now, my wife has a daughter that is almost 4 who looks to me as a father and who I love as my own child. Our daughter spent a lot of time with my wife's parents before we met and dated. So we let her spend weekends here and there since we married. Too make a long story short, over the past year, I grew suspisious that she may be a victim of abuse. Not knowing my new inlaws too well I sensed that something wasn't right with my step father, he seemed like a nice guy but he was very perverted around me and kids in a joking way. As my suspicions grew I begin to ask my wife about her dad to see if he ever tried anything with her aside from being exstreamly touchy feely. I then learned that she had been sexually abused by her real father for over ten years, while her real father and mother were married and living together. So me not knowing much about this type of stuff, I recommended counseling which she is in now. Knowing this scared me, because of the strange behavior our daughter was having, so to be safe we had our daughter see a conseler, who after two sessions revealed that my wife's stepfather may be abusing her sexually. Our daughter is young and I don't know what will happen legally, but more than seeing the guy go to jail I want to make sure he never has any alone time with our daughter ever again. My question is in the event that no proof other than our daugters testimony is not enough to put this man in jail, what type of rights as a step-grandparent or grandparent because he is married to my wife's biological mother might we have to worry about in the future. My only intrest is keeping our daugter safe and not some sort of custody dispute. Any answers will be appreciated.
Aug 16, 2011
 Stepfather abusing your stepdaughter
by: Anonymous

I first would like to commend you for offering your wife get help. Many believe they are fine but the unconscious holds the pain that will never completely heal and only through therapy is the individual able to learn about the feelings obscured and how to deal with them.

As for your stepdaughter, most states will not allowed unsupervised (if any) contact with a minor that has accused an adult. If the therapist believes under counseling that the child may have been molested (even if there is no evidence) then the courts will avoid any future contacts with the child and perpetrator. However, I must state that these laws change from state to state. You should be able to get a direct response from the social worker working the case. If you were not aware that a social worker is involved, you can rest assure there is. Anytime a therapist or medical facility believes there is abuse or if they are informed of an accusation then child protective agency is contacted.

I would talk with the therapist and find out what information you can gather for him/her.

Sincerely,
Lurlene Mckenney
AA Psychology
Aug 21, 2011
 Concerned for six year old step daughter
by: Anonymous

Ny boyfriends daughter has been masterbating all the time, constantly complains about her vagina being sore and itchy, she uses creams or itch reliefe sprays but i feel that if she needs to use it every night...something more mighht be going on. She visits her mom every now and then, who has a new boyfriend, and im not sure if he does anything (molesting) or anything else to her...she knows thats her private place for no one to touch but, what if...
Im not sure if i should be concerned or not, but it seems to be getting out of control.
Aug 24, 2011
 3 year old son
by: Anonymous

Picked my son up from daycare. He started screaming and crying for several hours. At first, I thought he was just fighting for attention and didn't make a big deal about it. Finally, I checked and saw his anal area was red.. His pain went on for several hours and finally he fell asleep. I applied antibiotic ointment and took him to the doctor the following day. Doctor saw abrasion in his anus, but could not confirm whether it is from bowel movement or something in it. I addressed my concern with the daycare center and they found no evidence as to how my son got hurt at the center. When I took my son back to the daycare, he said, "mommy I don't want to go back to school, I don't want (this boy's name) sticking his finger in my butt. What is your suggestion on this?
Sep 02, 2011
 scared
by: maria l

i have a 19 month year old babby and im currently worried that my boyfriend is abusing him.theres days when he is ok being around him but than theres times where he doesnt like him carrying him.i need some one to help me so i can see weather its happening or not one time my sister told me he touched her stomach but than she told me it was an accident i dont know what to do
Sep 14, 2011
 Normal behavior?
by: Anonymous

My son just turned 3 years old. One day while visiting my parents, I found him in my old bedroom, naked from the waste down and he had my old cabbage patch kid doll (who is a boy) laying naked in front of him. I didn't seen any actions at this point but it really concerned me. Another thing that concerns me is that if he is playing with a stuffed animal that is wearing clothing, he always wants to take the clothes off. And just recently, we've been working pretty hard on potty training. I thought he was going on is own one day and when I came into the door way, he was naked from the waste down and rubbing himself on the bathroom rug. There were maybe two instances were I caught him completely naked under the blanket of his bed and touching himself. Both of his previous home cay care providers have told me that he would either get completely naked when they woke him up from his nap but fell asleep with is clothes on ( like he did it himself in the pack and play because his clothes and diaper would be in there) and that he would just remove his pull up and want to walk around like that. I've never noticed any physical marks or anything for me to question anyone. His behavior has changed and when he gets mad, he gets in a rage and not just a fit. There also was a time where he was touching women's breast including my own. I don't know if this is normal behavior or if I should get him checked out... Any advice I receive is greatly appreciated.
Sep 14, 2011
 Response: 6 yr old step-daughter
by: Lurlene Mckenney

You wrote that you are concerned about your 6 year old step-daughter because she masturbates constantly. I seriously doubt that she masterbates constantly but she may masturbate occassionally. Children at this age begin to understand that there is pleasure when they rub themselves down below. Part is self-identity (learning their difference from others) while the other is trying to understand why when they do certain things below it feels different.

You stated that her vagina would get sore and itchy. Your step-daughter is performing an act known as dry humping which is common to cause soreness, redness, and even itching. There are many children that have not been molested that discover dry humping at an early age but I would recommend if you are truly concerned someone may be harming her, then by all means, please talk to her doctor about your concerns so she can be examined for any signs of molestation.

Lurlene Mckenney
AA Psychology
Sep 14, 2011
 3 year old son in daycare
by: Lurlene Mckenney

After reading your story I am very concerned that your child may be getting molestated at daycare. I do not know how this is possible considering the children are always to be supervised but the fact that you state the doctor found abrasions on his anus and that your child told you that a child put his finger in his butt would be enough to think the unthinkable.

Please talk to the staff and have a follow up visit with his physician and be sure to let him know that your child has told you that a child put his finger in his butt.

I do not know whether or not this particular child knew what he was doing was wrong or if he was behaving on curiousity. In any case, this needs to be investigated.

Lurlene Mckenney
AA Psychology
Sep 24, 2011
 Safety
by: Anonymous

I think it is wonderful that you are concerned about your child. I think you should take this a step further and be more protective. You can never be over-protective when it comes to securing your child's innocence.

Your child will always look to you for protection. And when he is old, he will ask you why did not protect him when you had a gut feel that things were not right.

This is a hard call. Good luck.
Nov 08, 2011
 To all
by: Anonymous

If there is a thougt of abuse no matter how fleeting & nothing is done, you are as responsible as the abuser. Children can die from injuries sustained by rape & molsetation. Not to mention that such a depraved person is just plain dangerous. Worrying about hurt feelings & fractured relationships while a child suffers is selfish. Protect what cannot protect itself.
Nov 08, 2011
 Response to "Safety"
by: Lurlene Mckenney

I agree safety and I believe this is why there is this forum. Often times it is hard to believe the one you love may in fact be the one that harms your child. It is every parents responsibility to protect there child. In fact, not doing so could result in the parents losing their child.

I think many come here just to express their concerns and to get that "it's okay to take your child to the doctor because you suspect someone is harming he/she". And that is fine and I am please this forum remains active and encourage others to spread the word about this forum. It is full of useful information.

Lurlene Mckenney
AA Psychology
Nov 27, 2011
 My 2 yr old angel
by: scared mommy

I am in the middle of a divorce/custody battle. it was in march 2011 i found sex offender registrastion papers on my ex to be the charge was aggravated sodomy <14 w/ animal. The child was 3 when he started raping him and 5 when he got caught. We have a 2 yr old daughter and im scared to death for her. We have had to have her taken in 2 times already to have kits done for testing, they said there is no physical evidence but her behavior is a huge red flag. She is VERY aggressive now, she has been touching herself, when coming back from court ordered visits she is really abnormally red in her private area and has on numerous occasions asked me to kiss her owie (it was her vulva) she has recently started undressing her dolls and using a nail to penetrate where the dolls vagina would be. When asked what she was doing she mumbled something then said diaper change. I have gone to the police, who took me to the hospital with her, SRS is supposed to be involved but i havent heard anything from them nor can i get ahold of anyone. My lawyer advised me to get a PFA on behalf of my daughter and we go to court on it the 8th. Her father is from a wealthy family and has judges in his family as well. His sex offense was made private so when looked up no one can see his registry. And he has been getting his way in court ( the judge in his family has something to do with this im sure) I cant seem to protect my daughter due to the fact the judge keeps sending her to visitation. My daugter is my world im scared even more due to the fact that her fathers father is a chld molester as well. He got caught touching his daughter ( the exs sister) 2 yrs ago, but now they are fighting for overnights and weekeneds. The court has been made FULLY aware of all of this, but they are still willing to put her in harms way. how are we supposed to fully protect our chldren when the law tells us no? Someone please help me!!!!
Dec 03, 2011
 gut feeling so sick ive been puking all day
by: Anonymous

well my daughter is only 18 months and i started noticing a few months ago she suddenly became terrified of the bath which she loved but then other times she was fine . she lives with her dad 3 days a week but it was alot more the past few months i have had her for two straight weeks but he has had her a couple times her behavior was more and more concerning she suddenly had a constant rash and red swollen vulva area then she started waking up at night screaming no no and wont let me pick her up until she relizes its me also she became very clingy and happy to see me hugging me and wouldnt let go and she use to be fine changing her diaper until she started screaming when i would attempt to change her poopy bottom or put diaper cream then it got even worse she started trying to rub toys and constantly touching her self and now all she does is scratch and say itchy, her dad is so loving towards her but she wont go near him sometimes and wont kiss him she hits him when he comes near her and i noticed one morning we were all laying in the bed she tried pulling up his shirt and then i seen her trying to go down his pants he quickly stopped her now she is a complete differant child i tried confrontiong him when i seen some weird pictures of him kissing her very affectionatly on his cell phone he then put a code on it so i cant look at it anymore and then tried sayin i was makign up stories to get my child back in my care this is so far from the truth well i couldnt prove anything because i took her to a ped doctor and expressed my concerns he didnt even look in her vagina area just at the rash probly because she was completely freaking out when i tried laying her down to be checked by him now the signs are undenyable and i am going to take her to another doctor i have voiced my concerns to my mom who doesnt think hed do such a thing cuz he loves her so much but we were together at first and i started noticing him not being affectionate with me anymore and just using me for sex . recently i have found out i have a UTI and she has either a yeast infection or UTI she wont lay down at night ne more doesnt eat im terrified for my baby i called CPS and they didnt even go to his house he lives with his mom and my daughters crib was in his 19 yr old brothers room for like 5 months im pissed im desperate please how can i get definite proof to save my innocent baby i have prayed to god for if its true let it be seen so please everyones prayers would be greatly helpful for my one year old daughter also my two older boys not his my oldest was molested by his dad and he tried saying i made that up about their dad so maybe im doing it to him except he said this before i confronted him and everyone knows this isnt true because he was convicted of touching my son but served 14 days in jail sickning what happens to these sick people who touch children
Dec 14, 2011
 My 2 year old son
by: Anonymous

My son grandmom on his dad side, its something about her rubs me the wrong way, my son loves her to death a lil to much but someyimes he cries when I drop him off, tonight he.humped the pillow m tried to put his finger up his butt, he often sticks his butt out n looks back at it like a female would do, then his grandmom jokes n says he be pulling his wee wee out at her house but he dont do that at home plus he was potty trained befor he turned 2, now he wet his pants sometimes, and he do seem angry, I was molested for then once by two different family members so is it just me, but my gut is telling me it's something wrong
Dec 20, 2011
 paranoid
by: Anonymous

Ok, I'm worried that my 3 year old may have been molested. It hurts when I while him so I looked at his bottom and saw no tearing but was confused when I saw red around his hole. I know it sounds weird that I would check but he was in pain and very sensitive. He's my only child so I am very protective. I asked him if anyone had touched his butt and he responded "yes, M--- dos like this" and laughed. He thought it was a joke. I asked if he's ever been asked to take off his pants or seen anyone take off their pants, he said no. I asked several times how, when, where...his responses were never the same and a bit odd. He said it happened at his birthday party, in his room. There were a lot of kids there, the boy he claims did it is about 7 years old...it doesn't seem believable that he'd do that in front of so many kids. It's just scary to me that if my son is making this up, where would he come up with it? Am I overreacting?
Jan 31, 2012
 first day at day care
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 20 months old and spend her first day at day care yesterday. When I changed her diaper when we got home I noticed a slight white discharge from her vagina and redness around the area. Could it be that they didn't change her nappy enought or should I be worried. What should I be looking out for?
Feb 09, 2012
 Concerned Granny
by: Anonymous

I am a first time grandma of a 5 year old girl. My son and daughter in law are divorced and now she is in an abusive relationship. She was sexually abused as a child by someone in her family and her mother's many boyfriends. She never got help for it and now when I mention I am afraid fro my granddaughter in the first domestic violent relationship she is in with her new husband she does not seem to care.When my granddaughter was 2 she came back from her mother's with a swollen and red vulva after we had changed her diaper. When I went to pick up my granddaughter she wa alone in the house as my daughterr in law and her new husband were out on the porch reading the newspaper. I asked if both of them are out there on the porch and the front door was closed how were they going to hear the baby if she cried. My daughter in law responded and said she is okay she is asleep and my husbands nephew 10 years old is in there with her. I did not get a chance to take my granddaughter to the doctors that night but the next morning I took her to her pediatrician and he said that he could not tell if she had been messed with but there were suspicious marks on her that appeared to be cigarette burns.
Feb 09, 2012
 Response to 1st Day Daycare
by: L. M.

Hello, in response to your concern for your 20 month old child at the new daycare facility and the white discharge and redness found on her. I will say that it IS NOT UNCOMMON for daycare centers to miss diaper change. I wonder if this daycare center is a well known and established facility or a local backyard type facility that offers childcare at much lower rates. There is a difference. A larger branch daycare center has a large establishment of workers that focus on specific age groups; they also have regulations for children that are not potty trained. For example, they require their staff to check each child’s diaper every hour (this does not mean that they only check the diaper every hour- if the notice a wet diaper or soiled diaper prior to that hour, they do change it). I would check with your facility and ask them what their requirements are and if they offer a daily sheet of the child's activities, including diaper changers (most do this automatically).

Also, has your child recently taken antibiotics, this could cause a yeast infection. Some foods can create yeast growth. Many children get infection when their feces come in contact with their urethra. By all means, take your child to their pediatrician and have her checked.

Sincerely,
Lurlene Mckenney
A.A. Psychology
Feb 09, 2012
 Concerned Granny
by: L.M.

Hello. I can understand why you may be worried. It can be very scary having your child/grandchild exposed to people that you do not know. However, we need to remember that when couple’s divorce, there is a greatly likeliness that the children will be exposed to new people and the possibly a new step-parent coming into their lives.

You said that when you went to pick up your granddaughter that she was left inside with a 10 year old and the mother was sitting on the from porch. Personally, I do not think there is anything wrong leaving a child to nap and a parent go to sit on the front porch. Most parents today have monitors so they can know when the child awakes. Maybe you should ask her if she has one and if not, maybe you could buy her one for the safety of your granddaughter. Sometimes, we need to focus more on a resolution than what or what not the other parent is doing that you may not like. Working together is always better for the child.

You said that you took the child to the doctors and he could not tell whether or not she was being abused but had suspicious marks that appeared to be cigarette burns?? This is concerning for me because a physician has a responsibility by LAW to report ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS that could be caused by being abused and for this physician to think a mark could possibility be caused by cigarette burns should have been reported. I am curious to hear back from you in what was determined the marks were caused from??

Sincerely,
Lurlene Mckenney
A.A. Psychology
Feb 10, 2012
 20 month old baby
by: Anonymous

Dear Mrs Lurle, I did speak to the owner at the daycare and asked her to please change my daughters nappy more regularly as I would give 5 nappies and they would return 3. since then the rash has gone away. Thank you very much for your comment though. One cannot be too careful.
Feb 10, 2012
 20 month old
by: L.M.

Thank you for writing back. I'm pleased to learn you spoke to the leaders in the organization and that everything worked out for the best. :)

Lurlene Mckenney
A.A. Psychology
Apr 16, 2012
 ????
by: Concerned Father

What the hell is wrong with you people???? if i even had the slightest inkling that something was wrong i would look into it straight away no if or buts about it, i have 2 boys, 2 boys that due to this unforsaken crazy world we live in that i guard with a passion as should any parent, it saddens me to read all your stories and i wish i could help all of you, the thought of someone doing something inappropriate to your child is just sickening, you are not alone , there are people you can call, thats all it is 1 phone call to save a childs life from torment and shame, don't do this to your children/grand children , they deserve better than that, save them now before it's too late!
Apr 16, 2012
 Concerned Father
by: Anonymous

I understand your frustration and this site is just that...to help those who do not know what to do, to guide them in the right direction sort of speak as well as provide information.

I would not encourage ridiculing anyone. We welcome those who do not know how to handle the situation to come here and seek guidance. It is ALWAYS recommended to have any child examined if one is concerned their child may be sexually assaulted. Please do not shut them out by suggesting something is wrong with them for looking for help.
May 15, 2012
 ETHAN
by: Anonymous

recently started working at a daycare
one of the little boys:
-3 times in the past 2 weeks, after pooping in diaper will take it out and smear it on his face,floor, and walls
- cries when diaper is going to be changed
-pulls shirt down to cover private parts when diaper is off
- held down one of the younger girls and wouldnt let her get up
- is destrutive
-hides shoes when he is about to leave
- screams when his dad picks him up
- will scream as loud as possible over the smallest things

is he being sexually abused??
Sep 06, 2012
 2 1/2 year old daughter
by: Anonymous

Lately I have been having this overwhelming gut feeling that my daughter is being touched by her dad. Now, we all live together as a family; he is very caring, kind of the pushover parent when it comes to discipline, VERY touchy, and lovey. I'm a very loving mother but when my toddler tells me to tickle her or blow on her girl parts it flew all over me! I have confronted him on several occasions and he simply laughs at me, tells me I'm crazy. I do believe I have paranoid tendencies do to molestation in the past. With that being said I can't shake this feeling no matter how I try to look at the situation. I'm with both my kids all the time, however I do go to the gym late in the evening, the first time I had my concern, the front door was locked and when I came home, all the lights were turned off, but the tv was on in the living room and my husband and daughter were laying in our bed, my daughter only had on a diaper and when she saw me immediately told me her girl parts hurt....I freaked!!! When I changed her she would not let me touch her to wipe her and and wouldn't speak as clearly as she usually does, it was almost as if she was incoherent....just mumbling things, I'd ask her questions to stuff she knows and and I couldn't get a usual response...later I slept with her in her bed, wouldn't take my eyes off her because I was so terrified of the "what ifs" later in the week she was sent home from daycare with a mild fever and a rashed behind, so I called my husband to let him know I was going to take her to the dr. and he demanded I wait for him so we could take her together which is still bizarre considering this man NEVER goes to dr visits with me...this is just the mental stuff I'm dealing with, I want to take her in but am afraid of this all being my own paraniod delusions and the harm falsely accusing my husband could do to him. I really feel like my daughter has taken a turn for the worst lately, too, she refuses to sleep in bed with Momma and daddy, reminds me all through out the day that she will sleep in her own bed. She wakes up at night hysterical, like beyond consoling, she has digressed in potty training as well. She doesn't fear him, like at all, but last night when I wouldn't let her have her way, she went to my husband and was what almost looked like "grinding" herself on his leg...I stopped it as soon as I saw it and it left my husband in a strange mood the rest of the evening...then this morning he reiterated on a comment I made to him about her asking me to tickle her parts...he acted dumbfounded...just more strange behavior.Please help, I need advice I have no one to talk to about this and like I said, I fear false accusations but I can't go another day with this gut wrenching worry...it just makes me sick!! I'm scared for my daughter, my kids are my world.I just need to her be safe from ANY kind of predator, even her father...

Scared Momma
Mar 16, 2013
 over reacting or not? please help
by:

I have a two year old daughter and I'm finding somethings that are starting to concern me. My daughter used to live my fiance and all of a sudden while the past two weeks she no longer likes him or will let him hold her(not her father) her father has told me that when he tries to change her bum she says ouche and grabs down there? And also she has very sensitive skin so nine times out of ten when she is changed there is corn starch put on her privates now she is starting to stick her hand down there as soon as it is applied and lick it off her hands my fiance has had accusations of performing sexual activities with his son in the shower and recently had gotten in a fight with his cousin where she had called him a pedoflie I have no idea what to think of this please help?
Mar 16, 2013
 take him
by: Anonymous

If u think ur son is being abused u shouldnt care about the damn bill and take him to the hospital. What if he contracted an std or even aids. Is his life only worth the food and clothes. TAKE HIM TO THE ER!
Mar 16, 2013
 Response to the mother with the 2 year old daughter
by: Lurlene Mckenney

Often times I read stories here that appear to be nothing more than a child's self-identity and the curiousity over their body. Your story on the other hand alarms me. Specifically, your daughter the licking off the medicine placed on her bum and the accusations from your partners own family members. In your case I strongly recommend keeping your daughter away from him until further investigation can be maintained and please have your daughter checked immediately. She is trying to tell you something is wrong by her fear towards your partner. 2 year olds cannot communicate verbally so they act out. I suspect there is reason to be alarmed.
Jun 25, 2013
 I Don't know what to think
by: Anonymous

i just changed my 16 months old son of daycare one week ago. he is a very happy baby and i haven't seen any concerning sign of abuse. There are only two things that i found concerning. First, is that he is a little hesitant to go to the new daycare but i think it is because it is a new place. The other thing, is that yesterday when he was in the potty, he grabbed his penis and told me "kiss the baby", i thought it was very strange since neither his father or i refer his private parts as "baby" and nevertheless said something about kissing it, should i be worried?
Jun 25, 2013
 "Kiss my baby"
by: L. Mckenney

Your response:
Jun 25, 2013


I Don't know what to think
by: Anonymous

i just changed my 16 months old son of daycare one week ago. he is a very happy baby and i haven't seen any concerning sign of abuse. There are only two things that i found concerning. First, is that he is a little hesitant to go to the new daycare but i think it is because it is a new place. The other thing, is that yesterday when he was in the potty, he grabbed his penis and told me "kiss the baby", i thought it was very strange since neither his father or i refer his private parts as "baby" and nevertheless said something about kissing it, should i be worried?

My Response:
Yes! You most definately need to find out what that is about and where he learned it. You should be worried because that IS NOT normal.
Jul 15, 2013
 28 mnth old toddler
by: Anonymous

My daughter has been doing some strange things this past week. To start, she eats, sleeps, is potty trained, and is very happy. I brought my daughter to the bathroom..I usually sit on a stool in front of her while she goes. She was gazing into my eyes and playing with my hair. Made me feel a little uncomfortable. Another night I put her to bed and she stretched her legs back and put her doll between her legs. I started to question these couple of incidents so I started reading about signs of sexal abuse. I learned about how kids use inappropriate sexual language..'pussy'..etc. The next morning I finished changing her and she said "pussy"..twice. i was shocked b/c I just read about it. I wasnt sure if I was loosing my mind.., if I really heard her say that... I asked her to repeat it but she didnt. She hasnt repeated it again. I have been asking her questions all week but eveything seems fine. I was taking a bath with her the other night and she reached to tickle my vagina twice and was smiling when she did it. I wont be showering with her anymore. She tried to put her finger in her vagina when I was putting her in her car seat another day. Yesterday afternoon.., she put her hand in her underwear. The only other thing that has changed is she has been giving me a hard time putting her to bed. I ask her if she is scared..if she has secrets..who taught u to do that...I have been trying to educate her about private parts etc,
She does not have any rashes or bruising. I noticed this touching stuff happen when I was out one night. I left my husband to put her in bed. He was texting me that she was crying and that she wouldnt go to sleep. When I got home he was laying in her bed with her.
Is my daughter exploring?... or is something going on? Am I paranoid? Help me out please
Jul 15, 2013
 Response to 28 mnth old toddler
by: L. Mckenney

With the exception of the "P" word and perhaps that is not what she said. Because you are so focused on her being sexual assualted may have misinterrupted what she was really trying to say. 28 month olds do not speak very clearly.

As for her touching herself and touching you it is normal for her to be curious and she is at the age of self-identity. Although it may be very uncomfortable when your child begins to notice mommy's private parts and may try to touch you there really is nothing more than curiousity. Try explaining to her that it is not noce to touch other people's private areas. I would not scold her! This is a natural learning experience for her.

And my recommendation....when in doubt seek professional help.

Please let us know how things work out for you and your bundle of joy.

L. Mckenney
AA Psychology
Jul 17, 2013
 28mnth old toddler
by: Anonymous

I really appreciate your response...it was a great help. It is hard to ask friends and family about these subjects This is a fantastic website. Thank you L. Mckenney!
Jul 29, 2013
 28mnth old toddler
by: Anonymous

I have noticed on several occassions over the past 6 months that when my husband is holding my daughter, she reaches to her behind and pulls her underware open...away from her back/buttoks. Then she gets exremely frustrated. This happens when my husband is tickling and caressing her back. This evening my daughter was laying down on the couch beside my husband and she said...papa tickle me there. ..pointing to her vagina. How am I suppose to react and respond to this. I acted like I did not notice. He responded by saying no. Help please.
Jul 29, 2013
 28mnth old toddler
by: Anonymous

Due to the previous incident this evening when my daughter asked her father to tickle her there..pointing to her vagina...I was obviously very suspicious. I bathed my daughter and while I was changing her I pointed to her vagina and asked her, what's that?. She said, peepee. I asked her, does anyone touch your peepee? She said, papa (her father). I asked her, why does papa touch your peepee? She said, I don't know. I told her that it is private and that no one should touch your peepee and to tell me if her father touches her there.
What do I do now? I am very anxious and do not know what to do. If this is true, how do I get him away from her indefiantly. I am very confused and anxious..what is the next step. Am I going crazy or are these really signs that my daughter has been molested
Aug 21, 2013
 be verey carfull!
by: mrright

just my 2 cents.be verey carefull when you make a desision,becouse it could put someone inocent away and theay may hold a grudge when theay get out never know may murder you for bringing such nasty charges on them.but then at the same time you have to make sure ur kids are ok and not being abused. verey tough situation.
Jul 11, 2014
 Worried mother
by: Anonymous

I'm a single mom of 3 and my youngest is only 2 and I'm really worried about her cuz a have a younger cousin who is 13 and when she was 11 she was raped and recently she got in trouble with the Cps for touching a a 2 yr old and my daughter has been wanting to go with her to the park and my cousin has been wanting to take her and the other day she took her and I showed up at the park and she had said that my daughter had fell out of the swing and that she was bleeding so she took her to the bathroom but when I found her she didn't have her other shirt on only a tank top and said she used it for my daughters lip but when I asked her where was the blood at she said she cleaned it up but she had her shirt at the park not in the bathroom and my older daughter had said that my daughter didn't fall off the swing so it just makes me wonder should I be worried our am I just being paranoid what should I do??? To me i don't wanna think that way cuz she's my cousin and i wouldn't think somebody could do that if that's just sick too do that to your own little cousin
Aug 18, 2014
 please any one hear me out
by: Anonymous

Hello I have a son qnd his going to be 2 pretty soon in a week.I have been very concerned the pass week and a half about him possibly being or have been molested.his biological dad has never been in his life but when he was 5 months I meet a great guy and i have a soon to be 1 year old with him.his such a great guy and has been always there for my first born he loves him dearly i am no longer with this person we have been broken up for 3 weeks now and he takes his son and mine for 2 nights every week he has been the only father he nows and agreed that he still wants my son in his life.but my bigest worry is his father last week when we swapped kids i was driving away and this is with my kids in the car with me my oldest son said"PAPA AHWEE" he said it tree times repeatedly.the only person my ex boyfriends family and kids call papa is his dad witch would be my sons stepgrandfather I was like "what do you mean papa ahwee" he would just stair at me and say nothing.I told him "I love you" and tried to switch the subject and come back to the question just because I dint want to over ask him and confuse him.well we got home and he seemed very mad and upset like he was a whole different toodler coming back home.it was dinner time and I made dinner and he was so mad at me for not giving him any pop with his dinner he litter hit the table 4 times with his arm way high up and slammed it down fast and screamed.I put him a side and calmed him down and told him what's wrong hunny why are you so mad today" and he just gave me that stair again.that day he was so angry and was being naughty when he is the opposite I called my ex that night explained what he said in the car and how misbehaving he was and to consider what he said about his dad he thought I was over reacting .well today my ex dropped my kids off my house and he said bye to the boys and left.shortly after like 15 minutes later my son said "AHWEE PEE PEE" pulling down his shorts and taking of his dipper I said " aw do you have a ahwee on your pee pee" then he said " potty mommy potty" I figured hey may be he wants to go potty I been training him to go potty about for a month now but it's still a working progress any ways we go to the bathroom.and he sits down and is trying to push but nothing he gets up to stop and play in the bathroom I told him "ok potty time over we go out" we stepped out and I go back to put a new dipper on him and he immediately tighten up his but checks and said "no no no" got so mad and trough him self on the floor had a big fit screaming I said "what's wrong baby what's wrong" I pick him up and sat down on the couch and huged him but I sat him on my lap but he would tighten up again. So I layed him down and put a dipper on him but he would not leg me open his legs he kept on crying tightening up his butt checks.I was so confused and scared to think the worst after words he lays on my chest with his arms around me just laying on me like he wanted me so bad.then his little brother comes and also wants me and i get up to pick the baby up and i put him on my hips and my first born is reaching out with open arms for me to pick him up witch is supper weird because he don't normally do that.then we go to bed that night and he had always had night terrors every see nice he was little and they were so bad that night plus he would say "NO NO NO" I am very very determined to help my child I have a well child visit in 3 days and will definitely be talking to the doctor about it and have the doctor see him.I'm debating to taking him in sooner because I want to see how more he acts I want to be sure I don't know I am really stressing this I don't want to be to late and it dose not help that my ex boyfriends dad is his step dad as well and grow up with a abusive father my ex boy friends yep dad that i. I feel i will have a lot of enemies as well if its true with his family because he is a fire fighter and a EMT every one praces him Please help me in advice
Sep 18, 2014
 my 2 1/2 year old daughter
by: Anonymous

Only my grandparents have caught her doing this but she has pulled her pull ups down and humped her stuffed animals and pokes at her vagina with all kinds of things. She has no other signs of abuse no swollen privates no strange behaviors except for what I have already explained. Idk what to do. I feel like if I asked the dr about it she would immediately be taken from me. My grand parents think she might have seen someone gave sex before omg I'm so lost at what to do. And now more upset because the only people who watch her is close family. Idk what to do. I'm hoping everything was accidental and not intentional. Again no physical signs of abuse
Sep 27, 2014
 pedophiles
by: Anonymous

I do not know how to catch such acts, but there is some type of forensic evidence - some physical and some psychological. As for the person who is concerned about his own father, just don't leave him alone with your child. There is a reason you don't trust him. Maybe he did it to you as a child and you don't recall, but it is in your gut. Those of us who have never been molested would not be concerned about our father helping with a diaper.

Trust your instincts.
Oct 02, 2014
 concerned there maybe sexual abuse with my 19 month old grand son
by: Anonymous

First he didnt want pamper changed, would just run, or roll to get away with laughing, months later he would cry, still have to wrestle with him to change him. Last month i gave him a bath and wrap him in a towel held him in a cuddling postion not hurting him for sure and he went oche, oche so i asked where he hurt and he pointed to his butt, didnt appear red or like nothing was wrong tho it had before. Tonight when i changed him he didnt want me to put his diaper on he pressed a phone cover against his privacy and erected, i asked who do that and he put his finger to his mouth and made a shhhh sound, He is not really talking yet just a few words..
Nov 20, 2014
 My almost 3 year old said he wanted to eat my vagina
by: Anonymous

My son is going to be 3 soon and he has been saying things that are concerning to me. He started a few months ago just wanted to grab my butt and expressing he wants to suck on my breast, which has not worried me since I had a baby and he was very curious about breast feeding. He wanted me to breast feed him too. Anyways things escalated during summer when he "discovered" that it feels good to touch his penis. One day after a bath he started using a stuff animal's paw to touch his penis. I didn't make a big deal and decided to talk to him about private parts and how only him can touch them etc, just as precaution. So lately he has been wanting to kiss me in the lips, which I don't think little kids should ever be kissed in the lips. Not for sexual reasons but just plain hygiene. Today he said he wanted to eat my breast and my vagina. I don't know what to think, he is always with me, except for a couple of hours wth his grandmother. I don't watch anything inappropriate on tv, I have never had sex in front of him. I don't know..help..is this normal
Jan 22, 2015
 Feeling very nervous
by: Anonymous

I have a 21 month old daughter who usually goes to her father's house every weekend. months ago when my daughter would come home from the visits she would be slightly red in her private area and when I changed her would start patting herself. So eventually I became concerned and asked him about it and told him not to have her around anyone because I didn't suspect it to be him, he said ok and that he would ask his other daughter what she does to my daughter because that's the only person around... A couple months ago him and his other daughter(3) started coming to spend the weekend at my house because she likes to play with my son's and there are lots of toys and everything here.. Well after the first concerns started I just been going crazy and I focus on every little thing that he does when around the girls. Whenever he picks my daughter up I notice he puts his arm under her long wise and always saying she is fine (looks good) he also calls her fat butt and whenever he is holding her his hand is always low touching her butt. I told him to stop calling her that and he just brushed it off. Well he came over last weekend since then when I change my daughter she saying it hurt and pushing me away. I'm so scared of what this could mean. That same weekend his other daughter was saying her privates were itching and he took her to the bathroom but before they got there she fell and he started cursing at her for falling and she was crying hard then he took her to the bathroom.when this happened I remembered the last time they were at my house the same thing happened he was cursing her out right before taking her to the bathroom and she was crying. I don't know if I'm paranoid or crazy or what.I need some insight please. Another thing he was laying next to his daughter me him and the two girls were in bed and I couldnt sleep I layed there listening and his back was turned to her and he was moaning in his sleep I was so uncomfortable that I threw the covers off of her jumped up and turned the light on and stayed up the rest of the night because I was feeling nervous that he might be touching her. My daughter always its her hands on her private whenever I'm changing her please help.
Feb 20, 2015
 Indescribable Evil
by: Anonymous

I'm very convinced my 4 neices are being sexually abused by their father. They all live with him and their mother, and if true - I don't see a way their mother could NOT know it's occurring.
The girls ages range from 14 down to 7, and they all have behavioral/psychological and physical issues. My husband and I are not very close to them (as the father is VERY OVERPROTECTIVE and won't allow the children to bond with other adults), but after I just found out the latest issues - it was like God opened my eyes and showed me the EVIL that was happening on that house.
The very first sign was long ago, when the first baby was pretty small and contracted some sort of herpes infection on her genitals. I believe the GP almost called CPS at the time, but it was explained away as it being spread by a diaper change or something like that. I had my suspicions, but I let the doctor handle it and trusted that my sister-in-law would protect her child.
The dad then was called to go to Iraq for USNG duty, right after a new pregnancy. And thru two deployments within a 3 year period, they ended up with 3 more girls. Boom, boom, boom. He has a good job, but has become addicted to Rx narcotics, came from a very sketchy background, NEVER wants to have sex with his wife, and he is the RULER of his domain!!!
These are the reasons my girls and I are pretty sure he's been diddling his kids since they were way little:
The oldest one absolutely FREAKED OUT when she was given a male teacher in 5th grade. She was terrified of him, and eventually had to be transferred out to a female. She is now ashamed of her body, and only wears clothes that are boxy and boyish. She is shy, only really wants to hang out with mom, is NOT allowed to be around boys (and has no interest to), seems depressed, is just not a normal teenager.
The younger three are a COMPLETE MESS!!! The oldest (10) is a spaz, and can be funny - but it never seems in an appropriate way. She struggled with tummy aches, headaches and other types of stuff for a long time. She sometimes does things that are inappropriate, like sit with her legs all spread eagle and thinks it's hilarious. But the most troubling thing she is doing right now (and her mother doesn't know why she does this) is that she is wearing 10 pairs of panties at a time!!! There is def something WRONG with that picture.
The 8 yr old might be a little autistic, but she still wets the bed, will play repetitive games, is VERY introverted, doesn't like to be touched by anyone other than her parents, eats as if food is endangered, and overall is very strange.
The 7 yr old is the one I've been weeping for over the past two days. She was such a beautiful baby, a sweet little toddler, the cutest "little monkey"... For YEARS now, she has been struggling with EVERYTHING! From getting off the bottle (5) to potty training. She wouldn't poop because she said it hurt too much. She wouldn't pee for the very same reason. Now she is 7 and she can't even control her bladder during the day from leaking, so she has to wear Poise pads to First Grade, for Heaven's sake!!! I'm so afraid that since she is the youngest, she is getting it the worst - since he knows there will no longer be any more little children around to get his rocks off on.
My predicament... I have NO PROOF!!! These people are my family...so whatever happens - it is going to catastrophically affect every crevice of this family. I know some people who are selfish enough to probably rather just ignore it (or have known and have been doing this all along. I just might have to do bodily damage to those people if that is the case. I just put all this together yesterday, and there is NO WAY IM NOT GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!) or pretend it's not going on.
How do I do this? We have the same doctor. Should I bring it up to him? Maybe it's crossed his mind?!?! He WAS the same doctor that dealt with the Herpes situation with their firstborn!
I just don't want there to be ANY suspicion of ME in this at ALL!
And if you guys think I'm crazy - let me know. I've left out a bunch of stuff. They are all very clingy, shy. Aren't allowed to go anywhere without a parent... Not even to a movie with Grandparents! No sleepovers at others houses, but girls can go there. We are even allowed to have conversations with their kids out of earshot of the parents... But this is only the stuff that we can see. I can't even imagine if we hung around with them in the house what signs we'd see.
My daughter has a beautiful 1 year old, that she has brought over there to let her aunt babysit. My gorgeous granddaughter... The thought of that monster possibly touching that precious, little, innocent child makes my head explode! And it makes me weep. For his kids...
I keep reading that if there isn't solid evidence, they walk! That even if ALL the kids were to tell their stories, they wouldn't believe them because they are children. That is where I'm at right now... What power do I have to protect those kids? Especially if my husband's sister is enabling it to happen? And even possibly his and her own mother (as there is nothing on earth she wouldn't tell her mother) is in the KNOW. Isn't that a crime or something? I only have strong suspicions, and I feel sick that I haven't already picked up the phone and called the police.
Any advice, comments, suggestions, prayers, rants would be much appreciated!
Apr 18, 2015
 a mom and dad that letting him rub her leg in a sexual way
by: Anonymous

I told that mom and dad what i had seen this guy doing to my friends lil girl that is only 3 and they think it is ok and they are telling everyone that he does it all the time to her. She runs and hides from this man. The parents think it's ok for him to touch her like that
Apr 23, 2015
 not sure
by: Anonymous

I do not have anything really to go on here but suspicion that someone is doing something to my own daughter . she's mainly at home and at school . I don't use babysitters as I a stay at home mom and I live in a town with a lot of people in it I wouldn't leave any child with . lot of drugs and such .

Last night I searched my daughters phone and found beastiality porn in her you tube history . only reason I thought to check her YouTube watch history was because I accidently opened YouTube and I frequently check to make sure everything on the up and up but had never thought to check the history there because I don't allow YouTube unless I'm navigating it for obvious reasons . and I found a lot of it spread over some time period don't know how long .

Now I had an issue with a gym teacher grabbing and patting her butt and called the school board police and everything . nothing was done . and that was around 6 or 7 months ago . she still has to go to gym and deal with that teacher .

Now I just got told without evidence of something actually happening I can't do anything . she keeps telling me no when I ask her if the gym teacher is saying inappropriate things or touching her anymore so if it is happening I guess she wouldn't tell the truth .

A short time after it happened her principal pulled her out of class to the office with the gym teacher without my knowledge and asked her about it and basically told her she didn't need to run to her mommy so much making her feel it was wrong to tell me what she told me .

Now other side of the issue ....I've lived with a man almost all her life and now in my mind I'm even wondering about him . I don't think a kid would suddenly start watching these videos when normally they watch videos of like funny pranks or cats being cute or just stuff i allow . and furthermore she had to sneak to do this because I didn't know till just hours ago last night or well early this am really .

So now I'm wondering about everyone . I just have the suspicion someone is doing something or maybe teaching her or telling her about it or something to have so many of these in her view history . I even skipped through them a little on my on my phone to see what she had been seeing without messing up the history on my own phone and it made me sick .

Is this enough or am I jumping ship to fast ? And since I suspect but know nothing and she says no when I ask is ANYONE watching or saying or doing anything inappropriate (and yes she has a very clear definition of what's innapropriate ) with her what is my next step ? I couldn't even get anything done about the teacher I don't know what to do .

I am very worried something is very wrong but don't know who to go to . suggestions please .

Apr 30, 2015
 on the side of caution
by: Anonymous

If there is doubt in your mind, you have cause for it. If you're wrong then oh well now you won't question it any more, if you're right, you could save him now from incredible trauma later and help him with therapy ect. Never ever question a gut feeling like this.
Jul 29, 2015
 Almost two year old son
by: Anonymous

My toddler who is about to turn two started to think it's funny to poke at my fiance's front privates and say "ding". I don't know if it's because some of my soon to be sister in laws kids think it is funny to hit each other there while play fighting. So I don't know if he learned it there or he's being touched. Sometimes when I change him he says owie and asks me if we're done yet repeatedly hurrying me to finish changing him. He also started to act differently and be extremely sensitive about everything. But I have a new born that may be causing his sudden change in behavior as well. I just don't know if to worry my fiance might touch him since he helps me a lot with my son, and my fiance always says he will put my son to take a nap , usually as I'm cooking or busy. Am I just paranoid?
Aug 25, 2015
 Help my step daughter
by: Kait

I married my husband when my step daughter was 2 years old. He has full custody of her (her mom gets her every other weekend). I noticed early on that everytime she would come back from moms (who lives with her parents) that she would be red and she would complain that it itched or burned and would say she needed cream. I use coconut oil because it's known to fight yeast and it's all natural so I am sure that it's not the cream that was doing it. I mentioned to my husband on more than 1 occasion that something was not right. I thought perhaps she was drinking too many cokes at moms and that her body wasn't used to it since at home we only have water. But now my husband and I have a 2nd child and my stepdaughter is 5. I can't stop thinking about it. I have caught her playing with herself and when I ask her what she's doing she gets ashamed. I've asked her if anyone has touched her there and she always says no but she won't look me in the eyes when she says it. She also craves male attention. I'm not sure if this is because of all the one on one time she had with daddy growing up because mom wasn't around or if it's something worse. Her mom now lives with a boyfriend and I've noticed that the redness has stopped. She doesn't complain about itching or hurting anymore. I feel like she was molested by her moms dad. Mom has 3 other siblings, 1 sister and 2 brothers. Both of her brothers are normal family men but neither mom or sister have custody of their kids. I feel like that says a lot in itself. Idk what to do. Also, lately she has been very hostile towards me. She's been acting out a lot. I read that sometimes when kids are sexually abused and the abuse stops suddenly that they get confused and angry and start to lash out. I realize this is an old thread but someone please, I need advice. I feel like I am so limited in my options because I'm not her biological mother, but I love this child with all of my heart and I can't shake that feeling that something is wrong!

From Darlene Barriere - Webmaster: Kait, if you're in the USA or Canada, contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about what you suspect. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors. They are not a reporting agency but they can be helpful. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/

Keep being an advocate for the little girl. Sending you both love, light and healing energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.comauthor. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Oct 03, 2015
 Not sure what to do next
by: Anonymous

Hi there. My husbands niece (12 years old) told our daughter to stay away from their grandfather. She said he's a pervert and too touchy feely. My husband, his neice, our daughter and the grandfather went camping on the school holidays and my daughter told me when she came back that the grandfather had tried to grab her cousin on the bum and when her cousin said stop it pop, he responded "what? Don't you like it anymore?. My daughter also said that when her cousin said she needed a shower her grandfather said "do you want me to come too"?. My husbands neice has also confided in our daughter and said her pop makes her uncomfortable and asks a lot of questions. The grandfather and our neice travelled 8 hours in a car to come see us. Our neice was also crying before they went home and when my daughter asked her what was wrong? She said she didn't want to be in the car with her grandfather all the way home. My husband told his mother what was being said about his father ( the girls grandfather) and she asked our neice what was going on. Our neice denied everything! She insisted she never said anything to our daughter about her grandfather. I'm shocked. There has been no other report that he has sexually abused anyone in the past that I am aware off. Something felt off in my stomach when he was here with our neice. I couldn't put my finger on it though. I have a very uneasy feeling. I'm not sure if he has done something to our neice or if he is walking a very fine line. Maybe he's saying inappropriate things or asking inappropriate questions. And grabbing her on the butt all the time may make her feel uncomfortable. If she won't speak up how can I help her? I will be keeping my children away from my husband father from here on out. My husband is very confused and doesn't want to believe the things his neice has said, but knows his dad can be inappropriate. He insists he would never sexually abuse his grandchild though. I don't know, something seems off. Help! What should I do?
Oct 04, 2015
 Response
by: Anonymous

To the lady that wrote about her husband's niece may be sexually assaulted by her grandfather.

You need to tell the child's parents and let them take it from there. She will trust them and in time will open up. But more importantly will keep unsupervised visits with the grandfather on halt until they can determine what is really going on.

Children will deny what was said when confronted. They are fearful they will get in trouble for it. Please reassure her that she will not be in trouble in anyway and that you only want to protect her but you can only do that if you know everything that has happened.
Dec 23, 2015
 I'm worried that my almost 3 year old son might being molested.
by: Anonymous

I'm not 100% sure but lately my son has been acting different. He's 35 months old and he's such a sweet little man. We live with my mother, and her and my son have a great relationship. I have always given him lots of kisses and lately he tells me to stop because it's nasty, he also talks about "butt butts" and yesterday he asked me if I had black on my pee pee.
And we were playing with his cars and he put one car on top of the other and he acted like they were kissing.

The first thing that came to my mind was if my mother was touching or doing inappropriate things in front of or to my child.

I was molested as a kid and I am extremely paranoid. My mom is the only person I trust to watch him, he's always with me except for the weekends because I work double shifts. but these last couple of days I've been having a strong gut feeling that something isn't right.

I just need some advice, I don't know what to do or think and it's not like I can ask her if she's doing anything like that.
My mom has never done anything to me sexually and I have never seen her do anything like that. Idk why I'm
Having these thoughts.
Jul 05, 2016
 Idk!!!!
by: Anonymous

I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and she's a happy smart baby. Long story she has a lot of love around her mainly her grandparents. Her dad parents he grandmother is kids nurse so if anything was wrong she would most likely sense before me or her dad. But her and her husband she married six years ago spoil my baby, idk if it's because they have a lot of boys on both sides but he loves my daughter like she is his own. He said he always wanted a grand daughter he spends all his time with her he loves shopping for her and can't say no to her at all. She doesn't act scared or afraid of him she always cry to be with him, but she is very curious. She smacks my butt which she says her father do to me or she'll touch my boobs which I've seen her touch hers. I've told her what they were and she feels a little to comfortable hitting mine now. I've daughter her touching her private area it's never been red or signs it's been touch but today she said it was itchy. It maybe because she just just got potty trained and she doesn't properly know how to wipe her self so it could be from that but he kind is a little to nice kind of to good to be true and maybe that's why I'm concerned. When she was first born he was afraid to hold her he said she was to small and was afraid of her being so fragile but his love for her haven't changed from day one but they spend a lot of time alone. At one point her grandmother said was stressing a little this is when me and her dad have or splits is the only time I actually see her mood change and that may be because he isn't around as much when we fight. Idk just tell me I'm just being crazy.. FYI I was molested by a cousin when I was younger
Sep 26, 2016
 Diaper changing
by: Anonymous

one of the reasons I stumbled on this page was because I was looking up if it was weird that my dad always offers to change my babies diaper. I have never had a reason not to trust my dad, but I have a strange gut feeling not to. Plus the fact that he offers to change her diaper every time he comes over, even when it's not dirty. He ask if it is. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Every time he offers I insist on doing it myself, sometimes he'll follow us in the room. I would never leave him alone with her for more than a couple minutes, but even now I'm scared to turn my back on him with the baby.
I have no physical proof other than his offers to change her diapers, and a gut feeling. Is that enough?
Dec 15, 2016
 What should I do?
by: Anonymous

My nephew (11) has been caught laying and moving on top of my daughter (6) while kissing her neck. There was another time my other niece caught him humping her. Just the other day he said he wanted to stick his boner inside her.
These incidents are years apart and she says he hasn't touched her private area for sure. Now we have to live on the same block and they ride the same bus to school. What should I do?
Apr 09, 2017
 Trust your gut
by: Anonymous victor

Take you son to a walk in clinic
They will check him out there
Apr 24, 2017
 has MY DAUGHTER BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED
by: Anonymous

In November my husband and daughter were playing on the bed. My husband (We will call Andrew) Was tickling my daughter and blowing on her stomach, when out of nowhere she pointed to her privet and said "daddy this. This daddy"! Andrew and I acted as we did not her her and I grab my daughter and took her down stairs. During this period my daughter has stopped saying "mommy", seemed withdrawn, not sleeping well, (I hate wording this this way but it is just this )She was fallowing me around like a dog, and just not herself. The next day I was home alone with my daughter I contacted a abuse line whom told me " this could be something but as well could be absolutely nothing". They advised me to ask my husband if he plays a game with her when changing her dipper. So I did and his reply was "Are sick". After all of this I told my husband that I was going to take my daughter to the doctors and have her cheeked out as she was not acting herself. I did not take her to the doctors and have regretted it. My daughter as well was trying to play a game when changing her dipper where she nervously laughed and kicked her feet. I don't know if I am just looking at something that is not there? I can't stop thinking that my husband as sexually abused my daughter. I can't leave her alone with him because I'm frightened to. He has been sleeping on the sofa for some time now. And now that I do not leave her alone with him she seems fine. I never took my daughter to the doctors because I live in the UK and have been told that if there are thoughts of abuse at home that the government will take your children away from you. Please help. Am I just crazy or was there something happening please???

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From Victim to Victory
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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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