Comments for Children Can't Express

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Jan 08, 2018
 To Name Undislcosed:
by: Darlene - Healing Coach

First of all, if this cousin went on to molest his own children, it's not on you, it's on him. Not telling does not, and never will, make you responsible for the actions of this pedophile. You have no idea whether or not telling would have stopped him from abusing in the future. It's possible, and yes, I do encourage telling. But to hang onto the idea that YOU are somehow to blame if he did go on to abuse his daughters is saying that you have the ability to control the actions of another person. You do not have that ability.

You ask the age-old question. How do we change this, indeed.

In truth, adults DO know that child sexual abuse goes on, because many of them have suffered it as well. The problem is, children are not believed, even when they do tell.

We can teach children to express what is happening to them, but adults need to understand that the predator likely isn't going to be a stranger. That the predator will very likely be someone the child knows and trusts. But even when children are taught, they are so young and vulnerable that they can easily be tricked into doing something against what they've been taught.

Children are taught to "listen" and to do "what they're told". Can you see the dilemma here? Can you see how easy the messages a child gets can set them up for sexual abuse? The nature of children and parenting makes this issue extremely complicated. The fact that you're asking brings hope, because through your own questioning, perhaps you will find the answer all abuse survivors would like to have.

Thank you for sharing your story. And as always, I send you loving healing energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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