Comments for Child Ause Story From David

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Jan 30, 2011
 David:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I hope you're in some form of counseling to help you deal with the repercussions of all the abuse you've endured. You didn't deserve any of the abuse; you certainly deserve help for that abuse. If you are still being abused, please tell your social worker, tell until you are heard. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Feb 01, 2011
 what on earth...?!
by: My Two Cents

David, when I read your story, I actually had to read it several times over three or four days for it to sink in.

It was so disappointing on so many fronts to see how many people let you down, and caused you to be hurt more and more.

In order: your uncle was a sadistic brute but your aunt's reaction, "this is uncalled for" and then getting you diapers? Her husband, your uncle basically tortured you while you were dealing with the loss of your mom, and that's her reaction?

I don't know if you were placed with your aunt and uncle by child welfare but you obviously came to their attention at some point if you went into foster care. This is my second "wtf" Moment - my degree is in social work, but I don't work in child welfare. I KNOW that children who have been abused are at a high risk of experiencing additional abuse so it has been my understanding that social workers monitor the children who have experienced abuse in order to (hopefully) prevent it from happening again. That is what is supposed to happen anyways. This is my "wtf!" Moment. Child welfare should have been watching so that it did not happen again.

My third "wtf!" Came when you wrote about going into foster homes with a diaper for bedwetting and experiencing sexual abuse from foster mom and sister.

First, the incontince - all children have accidents. Sometimes there's truama (your mom's death and the sexual abuse by your uncle) and other times there is a medical reason. The appropriate thing for the people charged with providing you with care to do would have been to check out if there was a medical reason, try therapy to deal with your mom's death and the sexual abuse by your uncle, and then the betrayal by your aunt. If it was neccessary to use incontince underwear, it should have been done privately, that is the foster parent(s) should buy it for you, teach you how to use it, and let you handle it yourself.

Secondly, the sexual abuse by foster mom and sister. The picture that jumped into my head was one where the foster mom allowed/taught her daughter how to sexually abuse you which really scares me. Foster homes are meant to be safe places for child who have been neglected, abused, and hurt to go and begin to recover from the pain. With such responsibility, these foster homes are supposed to be monitored and checked on an ongoing basis by child welfare.
It is so disappointing on so many levels that all of this could have happened to you. You did NOT deserve this treatment by your uncle, your aunt, your social workers, your foster mom, and your foster sister.

None of this was your fault. I hope you will consider criminal charges against your abusers, and a civil action against the child welfare system.

Be well.

My Two Cents.
Feb 04, 2011
 I'm so sorry.....
by: AnonymousT

this happened to you. My child bedwets (as did I) and now there's "GoodNights" which are pants meant for bedwetters, meaning no more embarassing mornings. They were a great invention several decades too late.

The amount of abuse that you experienced was so unfair & I hope you find the courage to heal. Lots of strong, healing vibes being sent your way.

T

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