Comments for Child Abuse: The Silence

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Jan 17, 2009
 Silence...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

So nice to have you back, Deb. I've missed your insightful and deeply moving posts; today's is every bit as perceptive as your previous ones.

How very interesting that you've titled this post "The Silence".

"The silence" that was born of fear and intimidation, making us child abuse survivors voiceless and hushed must be quashed in order to fully experience "the silence" that is born of the "Now", the silence of who we really are on a spiritual level.

You've earned the hatred you feel for your mother, Deb. I too had to get to that place of hatred of my own mother. There was no circumventing the emotions attached to the hatred I felt, hatred that I had suppressed out of fear on so many levels: fear of reprisals of going against the Catholic messages I'd been raised with; fear of what my extended family would "think" of me; fear of going against what all the self-help books had taught me; fear that if I admitted to hating my mother that such an admission would mean admitting I hated myself. But something unexpected happened after I finally stripped myself of all the rhetoric and doctrine and internal dialogues that were leaving me stuck in childhood. After I allowed myself to truly hate my mother, and after living with that hatred for a time, there came understanding. I was no longer that helpless and vulnerable child. And because I was no longer helpless, and because I was able to exert my own personal power that was free of any and all encumbrances that kept me from being the adult in control of my own destiny, the hatred fell away. I came to realize that as long as I allowed the hatred for my mother to flourish, she would continue to be in control and have power over me, and in the end, it was me, and only me, who would suffer.

You are no longer being silent, Deb, and BEING silent at the same time, because you have chosen a spiritual approach to your healing, an approach that will ultimately bring you back to wholeness.

Thank you for sharing even more of your story and journey toward healing and recovery with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jan 17, 2009
 A Monster for a mother...
by: Francine

Deb, I am sorry that you didn't have a good mom; my mother is extremely crazy, extremely violent and extremely heartless! I, too, had to suffer in silence when I was a little kid. I hate my mother, too, because sometimes whenever she wakes up in the morning, she immediately thinks of many frickin' different ways to hurt the crap out of me! I hate my dad, too, for not protecting me from my psycho mom's psychotic rages! I will never ever forgive either of them! But I am delighted that you tried therapy, Deb, keep trying cuz it's cathartic! Good luck, girl, and I wish you all the best!
Jan 22, 2009
 WOW DEB
by: Anonymous

you sure know how to express what is going on with your life..............keep the faith

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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