Comments for Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Natalie

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Sep 04, 2010
 Natalie:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I learned a very long time ago that we don't let go of the pain of abuse; rather, when we face our pain (fears), truly face them as you did, the pain lets go of US. Not the other way around. That's why it's so freeing. We need only allow ourselves to fully experience that pain and feelings associated with it for it to go away. As you said, it's circumventing the pain that makes it fester. Thank you so much for sharing your path toward forgiveness with my visitors and me. You truly are an inspiration.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Sep 05, 2010
 Inspired by Natalie's courage
by: Melissa

I am inspired by Natalie's courage to protect others and by her healing journey. Facing the pain of what happened is a huge step in the healing process. Sharing our stories to help others another giant step on the road to recovery.

I have prayed for this day, that Natalie would find the happiness she so rightly deserves as it is a constitional right, the pursuit of happiness, is it not?

Child abuse has not stopped just because we have grown up and are no longer being abused. surviving it's horrors is not enough. Let us be on guard to help others who are not strong enough to protect themselves.

Let us become the guardian angels we prayed for ourselves.
Sep 07, 2010
 Thank You
by: Natalie

Thank you, Darlene, for your mission and providing a space for me and others to share and learn. I just purchased your book "On My Own Terms" and can't wait to find quiet time to read and gain more insight.

Melissa, my dear cousin and "sister" in the journey, you have been and still are, an inspiration to me. Thank you for your words and guidence. I look forward to working together in the future on the mission. Thanks again for your support and "believing".

N

From Darlene: Thank YOU, Natalie. I hope you find the book touches you in some significant way. For the benefit of my other visitors, I've re-titled my book, but only offer it in PDF format as an e-book (From Victim to Victory).

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Sep 07, 2010
 Just FYI
by: Natalie

Darlene, I actually was looking for your book, "Victim
to Victory". I'm using a Kindle app on my Iphone and Amazon is the resource that downloads the book to the app. I searched for "Victim to Victory", no luck, so I searched by your name and that's how I found the other title. Either way, I'm looking forward to it, I just thought I would let you know this because it sounds like someone didn't get the memo
that you've made these changes.

Thanks again!!

N
Sep 09, 2010
 What a loving, Natural connection between 3 people
by: maurice

Your story is awesome: real: inspirational: loving: understand: caring: gentle to me and I am certain to all who spend time to read and re-read it Natalie: Thank You: I felt your natural pain from abuse coming through with each line I read: You sure are someone very special, gifted, true to yourself in the honest sharing of the effects of abuse: You cover all (most) aspects of the trauma of living with the pain of abuse: Then you evoked from Darlene her woman's heart to another, then in turn Melissa pops in too: All three of one heart and mind: It rruly uplifted me as i reflected on each line: I with her many visitors are indebted to Darlene: I thank God for crossing life's path's with her on her site: I must admit though I have not read her book but through her many comments I've read her story in all she's shared so professionally and naturally with each visitor to her sight: Her woman's heart is a woman's heart: Her book is not in paper back so I find it difficult to get on the shore's of Ireland: After telling my story she expalined to me how to read her book: But I am computer illiterate still: Her coments for me expresses her true story: That is why she get's cross with me saying please don't stop that valueable part of her site: She is one remarkable busy, busy professional relator: Thank you Natalie:
Sep 15, 2010
 The details...
by: Natalie

Maurice,
Thank you for your kind words. I've been reading Darlene's story and I think I can safely say that you don't know her story, as she tells it in her book, until you read it. You get such a deeper understanding of what she went through, where she gains her insight. I always knew that my adopive mother had a definate hand in my overall ordeal, but I put it behind the more obvious effects from my father, that I talk about here. For me, her story validates many of my own situations with my mother that I didn't want to believe, but I really already did, on some level.
Sep 16, 2010
 THANK YOU: You are truly a very special person
by: maurice

Thank You Natalie for giving me the opportunity:
I have not read Darlene's book: But I know in My Heart I know her from reading MY STORY: For me all of her abuse story though synopsized for easy reading and understanding relates her true, honest, painful journey of abuse and through abuse: Her realting ever so simply but not simple the effects she suffered and had to work through makes her a HERO for me: Her book from Victim to Victory I am certain allows each one who reads it a greater walking with her through the more detailed account of the effects abuse had on her: For me personally: Her blog gave me the opportunity as she rightly puts it: Welcome to my Child Abuse Blog: I am a violence and Abuse Educator: that she is for me: I am also a survivor of Abuse: She is my Hero in that saying: You can turn pain into power: I believe it: NOW it is your turn to believe it Darlene: Believe in yourself: Invest in yourself: Your too special not to: Some of you have endured unspeakable crimes committed against you: Many of you have disclosed here ( Natalie you are one of them) (I am one of them) I've met many courageous people since finding Darlene's Blog: I am certain all of us have: We can all empatise with each other: Darlene I am certain affirms that in her comments to each oneof her visitors personally: Everyone of you have shown remarkable courage in the favce of risidual that abuse has had on you: Darlene: I know and understand that courage: I had to find that courage inside myself: I had to face my fears: I had to deal with my emotions: When I started to believe I was worthy: I took back my power: Again Natalie THANK YOU: Let us all Thank Darlene when we read this HOPE filled words of her's You can move from Victim: You can becaome a survivor victorious: Reghardless of the Adversity you endured: Natalie I went back to read my story (Darlene's) again this morning thanks to you: I do it on a regular basis: I have come to know a remarkable woman in all she wrote there: It is safe for me I think we all have come to know that same woman:
Sep 17, 2010
 Just for the record...
by: Natalie

Maurice, I admire your passion and courage in disclosing your story and kind words to me and others. You are correct in saying that those who have read her book gain insight to her journey. Where I do need to make a correction is that I did not disclose the horrific details of what happened to me here on this forum. For me, personally, in my journey, at this time, I didn't want to do that. I didn't feel it was necessary for me to disclose, in detail, my story. But one can assume that I do have one, my insight comes from MY own details. What was most important for me, here, was to try and offer insight, something that may be of value to someone, with their own pain, guilt, shame, anger, Etc., and hopefully provide a glimmer of light at the end of a seemingly LONG tunnel. But I was definately interested in reading Darlene's story to see how she has gotten to this place that she is, for my sake, because I just recently turned a corner, and I look to people like her, and I want to know the details of her life, and her journey.
Sep 20, 2010
 DARK
by: Natalie


Let Go of The Dark

Another dark day, still your path is not clear. 
You blame the cloud for the darkness and fear. 
It blinds you to signs that show you the way,
So you go in circles, as your time slips away.

Once you step from the shadows of pain, 
You can see beyond that dark cloud
and disdain.

 The sun has always been here but  blocked her light,
When you let her light in, you can see your own life. 

Let go of the dark, let go of your fear, 
When you Live in the light, happiness is here. 

Because of you I was lost in the dark.   
Because of me I'm now free! 
Sep 21, 2010
 Your the very best: Take one day at a time: Live the NOW Time
by: maurice

How lovely on the moutains/wavelength's ar the feet that bring good news: You are your good news for yourself Natali: Thank you for sharing it with Darlene: Me and all her many visitors: Her book: Her story will take time to reach into each heart differnetly but with the same effect for the abused: Giving hope and light in the darkness of their journeying and healing out of and from the level of abuse each one suffered abuse: It is a known fact that each of us has his/her own way of healing from what was so personal and painful: Great Darlene gave her wonderful platform/site to move on from: The truth is that she is a remarkable relationship lady: A light in the darkness giving hope & light from her darness of abuse to all of us who are now helping each other by sharing our true and real feeelings with each other: Thank you Natali: Stay safe; Be safe: Always believe in yourself and know I believe in you too.
Sep 21, 2010
 The Light of Hope.
by: Melissa

This is a beautiful expression of healing, Natalie. And UT will shine the light if Hope on others to know that one if their own has found the Light. If you can find it, then they have hope that they can too.

Blessed be, sweet Natalie, blessed be.

Love, your sister in the journey, Melissa.
Sep 21, 2010
 ...as I continue my journey...
by: Natalie


I'm reading the book "MYSTERIES OF 2012, PREDICTIONS, PROPHECIES, AND POSSIBILITIES, Authored by many, (Gregg Braden, Peter Russell, to name a few)
Its mostly about the paradyme shift in human consciousness as we enter into a new cosmic phase of the universe and humanity. I've decided to start my own blog because i feel lucky in that I realize I am one of many who are able to see and feel it, in my own life.
Today i read something that validates for me my turning point that i've shared here, This is a quote from the book:

"We have to accept what is in front of us in order to open the door of change, wheather it is a negative emotion, or a situation we find difficult or painful, other people's behavior, or what is happening in the world. To say "yes" to it, we have to soften our resistance. Our love needs to be unconditional."

Darlene's comment to me is true to this. She told me its not letting go, its facing it so it lets go of you.

That last sentence about unconditional love, i interpret as FOR YOURSELF, at least first and foremost. For example, if you feel you have to have unconditional love for a parent, because they are your parent, to me that violates, or stands in the way of your own self love, of which without, you stay stuck, you operate from a place of "trying to be good, need for approval.". Another quote from the book:

"We cannot love when we are trying to be good.".

Personally, I think its a privilege to have someone beautiful in your life, and its a mutual love and respect that is the key, if either abuse the priviledge with lack of respect (you cant love without respect) expect to lose that priviledge. If you are the one being disrespected, unloved, love yourself enough to move on and do whats right for you.


Sep 21, 2010
 awwww, you guys...!
by: Natalie

Melissa and Maurice,

I tear up when i read what you guys write to me. I get this huge feeling of... I cant find words.. but its like opening the scary door and i see a warm, cozy, safe, inviting place, and everything right in front of me is so beautiful and exciting, then its like i hear someone inside say, "Hey, get you butt in here, we got work to do!". And so I do, i did, and here i am.

Melissa, your words ... "shine the light of hope on others..." is what i feel im being called into the room to do.

It feels almost like a duty, but not in a bad way. Its a duty to myself (in acceptance and love, FINALLY) God (Use his gift to me to help others, in gratitude, like rent for being on the planet) and others who are still stuck (Everyone deserves to be happy, i want to be part of a movement to end suffering, even if in a small way.
Sep 21, 2010
 Natalie:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

My schedule has been SO busy, I haven't been able to comment lately. But I will take the time today to tell you that you are an AMAZING person! I'm thrilled that you find the other visitors on this site so supportive and that this is a safe place. I will continue to do what I need to do in order for it to stay that way. I will also say thank YOU for being such a thoughtful contributor, and for providing so much about yourself in all that you write. And thank you for the accolades.

Melissa and Maurice, I extend my thank yous to you both as well. To ALL who give so much of themselves through this site. I'm so honoured to have such wonderful visitors.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Sep 21, 2010
 Emotional Parallels, I'm in the right place
by: Natalie

Darlene,
I am so happy to hear from you!!! Reading your book makes me realize that there must have been some Divine intervention to lead me to you, at just the perfect time.
I am all over the place with emotion as I read your book.

For example: A very familiar situation of mine to your story is after you had your "emotional breakthrough" with Dr. Stein, you wrote:

"I was no longer the vulnerable child, finally free to be an adult."
I get that. For me its a parallel of emotion when I wrote, "We begin to see things through our adult eyes, ..everything looks different."

Then as I read your words of emotion, "I wanted my mother back in my life just so I could make her suffer.".

Yes, i was just there not that long ago.
Then you write, "...but I knew if I made that call, I'd be no better than she was. And I was better than she was.". Then you talk about realizing your own destructive game and blaming others for your tourment, as I did. I coulnd't have said it better when you write, "...if it wasnt for....I WOULD NOT HATE MYSELF!..And I put an end to the noxious game."

I think I heard the angels sing after getting through that chapter, many tears I did cry after that. And its like i said in my original post, it's this sort of sharing that can provide something valuable for someone, and for me in particular in reading your story, what I quote above is a validation for me on several levels.

Thank you my friend!
Sep 21, 2010
 Natalie:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You honour me so. Thank you for sharing how my book has helped you and how you found what I'll call a kindred spirit in me. I thank YOU, my friend.

And just so you know, I retitled my book and no longer market it under the title you found. I retitled it From Victim to Victory because the title is more appropriate, but I market it myself now primarily because all but about 50 cents of the proceeds of any purchases go to Amazon, Trafford (the on-demand publisher) or other distributors. By marketing it myself, the proceeds stay where they should: with the author. I do thank you for such rave reviews of my book. Do I have your permission to use some of what you wrote? And if so, can I use your name? I would only use "Natalie".

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Sep 21, 2010
 Revision of the Dark
by: Natalie

I had written my poem "Let go of the Dark" a while back. When i read it now, there are parts that jump out at me like a baby crying for attention, but in this case, for a revision.

I had to rename it too, because i've learned a profound difference between letting go and facing something in order to acknowledge its role. I have struggled with this. Its easy to "let it go" out of disdain. Which means you dismiss its importance, you feel its unworthy of notice, something beneath you that you dispise. The difference is in acknowledging it and its role in your life, how you have reacted to it, let it have control. Look it in the face and say, "I'm on to you, now go back to where you came!"
So here's revision 1 of my simple poem.
I wonder if my tweek is noticeable to anyone but me? (-;

Acknowledge The Dark
By Natalie

Another dark day, your path still not clear. 
You blame the dark cloud for your pain and your fear.
 
It blinds you to signs that show you the way,
So you go in circles, as your time slips away.

As you step from the shadows of fear and pain, 
you see through the darkness you've held in disdain.

 The sun has always been here as the cloud blocked her light,
but when you let the light in, you can see your own life. 

Acknowledge the darkness so you can face pain and fear, 
When you Live in the light, happiness is here. 

Because of you I was lost in the dark.   
Because of me I'm now free! 

Natalie Ferris
Sep 21, 2010
 Darlene
by: Natalie

Darlene, I should have known that Amazon is not exempt from corporate greed. I really wish I had paid more attention to how to get your book. I'm sorry. But Im glad I know now how this all works.

Of course you can use my review of your book, and my name.
I think its the least I can do, right! (-;
Just kidding, I would, of course, let you use it anyway.

From Darlene: Thank you, Natalie. And please, no need to apologize. How would anyone know about this stuff unless they either experience it themselves or someone tells them. Again, thank you.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Sep 22, 2010
 The power of LOVE: The power of companionship/friend
by: maurice

Since becoming part of Darlene's safe place/house/home I believe in the power of LOVE shared by each one who visit her site: Trust between friends is reached whenthe intimitate is shared and understood: Is empatised with and in turn then values and respects the friend who triusted: So a a parents love and cherish their children the greater percent so do real and true friends: For me I have crossed path's with real, honest, true and good people who close to me in the realm of freindship and companionship on our lifes journey: From a distance I believe with Darlene as the good and loving steward of her site I know and believe I can trust each one with my gut feelings in expressing my abuse story: The relief has been enormous: Natali you sum it all up for me in your Poem: How beautiful and right you are: The connetedness between your first telling your story on Darlene's site has grown between the two of you: Which in turn allows me to say that Darlene has connected with each of us her visitors at levels each of us can cope with to move on after reading and acting on her loving, encouriging, supporting, afirming heartfelt words knowing she is gentle/sensitive but firm in sayingto each one there is a life to be lived after abuse: The tunnel of darkness that one has to moved from after abuse begins with lighting a match, then a wee candle, while lithing a fire in the belly from the ashes of abuse which lie dormant for years because we had not a true friend in our lives: Darlene became that light larger candle for me after her comment to me after I wrote my story: Natali, I am certain you have become a brither light to each one who read your story and who believe Darlene is a good professional realtionship lady with a huge woman's heart:

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E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

Read more...

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