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Mar 24, 2009
 Confronting rather than circumventing your pain...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

George, I'm so glad you've found a way to confront your emotions and pain rather than circumventing them. Circumventing your emotional pain is in part what led you to self-harm. Be it cutting or burning oneself, or incorporating a form of self-flagellation; they are all an unhealthy form of coping with unbearable pain, as it is easier for the survivor to deal with the pain of the self-harm than it is to remember the pain of betrayal, abandonment and rejection. But sometimes the negative messages were so ingrained in us that we feel we aren't worthy of better treatment. It is truly wonderful to be free of that pain, George, free to live your life as the person you were meant to be. Thank you for sharing your story of healing with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Mar 24, 2009
 George. Peace & happiness be yours
by: Maurice

You sure relived the physical pain of the abuse of your father, your brother and a mother who may have felt powerless to prevent it. From time to time during my years of tollerating what happened to me as being normal at the time it happened to me by a Man who was diciplining me for what I now regard as being excuses for him to beat me on the bare bottom. Like lining us up for inspection each Saturday morning with our school red jumber and uniform on. He would inevitably find something wrong or mall to punish us. like a hole in our pullover, dirt behind our ears. of something rediculous. He would inspect each boy and then line up those outside his office. I was was toward the end of the line most saturdays and I would hear the screams of the boys with each whack of his leeather. Always on the bare bottoms. We were from 13 years of age upwards that went on each week for seven years. During the week then for not eating whatever one did not like at meal time. This is to name just a few of the silly things he picked on to bare our bottom for a beating. I too self spanked/beat myself causing myself pain. sharing this with a counsellor He told me that whatever unduly happens us as children remains a long thime in our minds.Thankfully I have let go of those years now but like you George it was not easy. Our past is history. now that we have been brave and strong enough to let go and let a greater healer into our lives God our Father in Heaven. Thank you George. it is good to know I am in good company LOVING THE BEAUTIFUL AND SPECIAL ME NOW. taking one day at time live your life to the full with people around you who love you for who are now and not for happened you in your childhood. The courageous George You are a good man
Feb 27, 2010
 Thank you for sharing this
by: Anonymous

George, thank you for sharing your story. I am confronting issues of abuse & abandonment from my childhood and have not wanted to deal with my self-flagelation. I thought that I was being wierd to be reinacting my abuse, but your story (& other posts above) have helped me to realise that this is not wierd, but an understandable reaction to the pain that I've been hiding all this time. Thanks.

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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