Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Miriam

This child abuse story of healing and recovery from Miriam page was created December 30, 2006 and was originally posted on August 28, 2006 as story #3.

Note from Darlene: In her story submission to me, Miriam identified her abuser by name. The legal ramifications prevent me from using his real name, therefore, I've used the initials of D.W. wherever Miriam used his full name. Please understand that it is not my intent to diminish Miriam's story and the power she regained by confronting him.

Miriam is from Alert Bay, British Columbia, Canada

The following child abuse story of healing and recovery from Miriam depicts sexual abuse.

The child abuse effects on Miriam were alcohol abuse, drug abuse, promiscuity, and the inability to care for her children.

Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery
From Miriam:

My name is Miriam. I reside in Alert Bay and am employed as an Alcohol and Drug counsellor for the Namgis Treatment Center.

My story of sexual abuse started surfacing at the age of 25. I thought to myself at the time it surfaced that it was all a dream. I kept seeing images of a yellow house. I felt confused because this image would not go away. I attended sexual abuse workshops, but didn't really pay attention while I was there.

The confusion continued. I was at a point where I felt stuck with promiscuous behaviors. I felt this isn't normal . . . or is it? I had a bad reputation where I didn't care what people thought of me being with so many men.

I knew I needed to understand something, but what was it? It started becoming stronger in 1987. I decided to seek help because I knew in my heart that I couldn't deal with this on my own. I connected with other survivors and Mental Health.

In 1987, my only daughter was born. I went out for a walk with her, carrying her snuggly. I sat down to rest and take her out because she was sweating. As I was doing this sitting in our downtown mall, a man sat beside me and asked if he could hold my daughter. I turned and looked into his eyes . . . D.W.

It all came flooding back in a split second. I knew these memories were real. In his eyes my story became reality. I stood up and told him, "No! You will not touch my daughter."

Everything seemed to blank out for awhile as I relived the sexual abuse. I don't remember how I got home that day, but the feeling of protecting my daughter was overwhelming, and I am thankful that it happened while I had my infant daughter, because I don't really know what I would have done.

I remembered back to the age of eight. I went over to an old yellow house to call on a friend and ask her to play jump-rope with me. I remember I received this jump-rope as a gift from my grandmother. We tied the jump-rope to the stair post outside the front of the house, because there was no one to hold the other end. There was a gap in my memory because I couldn't remember how D.W. managed to get my jump-rope. He took it and hid it from us, then asked us to go and find it. He directed his daughter to the attic of the old house. He directed me under the house. I remember feeling that I wanted my jump-rope back, so I went under the house. While I was looking around, I could see sunlight coming through the cracks in the walls. I felt someone was there with me. Then D.W. appeared.

While he was molesting me, his daughter appeared and watched as her father continued to molest me. She started screaming at him and told him she was going to tell her grandmother on him "this time". (I got the indication through my healing that this was also happening to her.)

My walk home that day was very confusing, wondering, what was it that D.W. just did to me? I remember not caring about my jump-rope anymore. I sat at the back of my grandmother's house. She broke the silence and confusion, and asked me what I was doing back there. I don't remember what I said, and she never asked me about my jump-rope.

My life seemed to turn into a web of confusion. I was also being physically, verbally and mentally abused in my childhood. The answer to my painful past in my teen years was to turn to alcohol and drugs. My life became a turmoil of promiscuous behavior and not caring about my children.

In 1999, I decided to enter the Namgis Treatment Center's six-week program, and there I disclosed my abuse with numbness. I thank the Creator for bringing counsellors into my life who totally understood me and supported me with guidance in what I needed to do in order to take back my power from D.W.

Back in 2001, I decided to approach D.W. rather than take him to court. This time I looked into his grey eyes while he sat in his wheelchair.  told him my sexual abuse story. I could feel my power coming back. He denied it of course, but what mattered was the sense of freedom I felt. I was not carrying D.W. around with me anymore. My freedom was to take a look at everything that was taken from me and to face the fear of finding the real me.

That day, I took back my power. It will be forever embedded in my mind. And being in the helping profession makes the experience that much stronger to help others. This is my way of giving back as a Thank You to the Creator for what I have been through, because it molds what I have become today . . .

All my relations.

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References

NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the
Canadian Red Cross RespectED Training Program. Written permission was obtained to use their copyrighted material on this site.

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Child abuse story of healing and recovery from Miriam was re-formatted         June 15, 2015