Comments for Child Abuse Story From Vicki1

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 26, 2008
 Involuntary arousal...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Vicki, you said: "I was scared, sick, but at the same time...aroused. (That is the part I feel so guilty for)." I encourage you to question your thoughts on this. First of all, arousal during a sexual assault is not uncommon, whether you are male or female. Fact is, being touched in that area, even when it's molestation, can and does "feel good." Your arousal was involuntary. Your body betrayed you; you did not—I repeat, you DID NOT—betray your body. You could no more control your arousal than you could control whether or not you breathe. And your grandfather knew this. Indeed, he likely counted on it in order for you to keep "the secret."

Vicki, you did the right thing by telling your mother. I'm terribly sorry she didn't believe you. As for your mother, perhaps your grandfather told her what he had done to you; I can't say. But she's the one who lost out on all those years, all those years of a relationship with her daughter, watching her be a parent, sharing in the joy of parenting and grandparenting. All her accusations, her animosity and outright denial; it's all on her, Vicki. I do hope the two of you can come together to bridge the feelings of betrayal and abandonment. If you haven't already, I recommend some form of counselling in order to help you with all the emotional residue of being molested by your grandfather, and then after telling, not being believed, and now how to deal with the situation now that your mother understands that what you said happened did happen.

Thank you for sharing your story here, Vicki. You've sent an all-important message to my visitors.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Write Your Child Abuse Story.

Return to Child Abuse Story From Vicki1

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

Read more...

Most Recent

RSS

  1. Converging Stolen Lives

    Jan 30, 18 01:13 PM

    There was a time and space I didn’t think about you, or your abuse. Where when I looked back at my life, I only saw normal things, a normal childhood.

    Read More

  2. A letter to one of the 13 Turpin children

    Jan 29, 18 11:33 AM

    A heartfelt letter by a former classmate that speaks to bullying and regrets. You'll find it on my Facebook group. I hope you'll join and get in on the discussion.

    Read More

  3. Dissociated From Abuse

    Jan 29, 18 11:00 AM

    I was sexually abused by my father from age 6 to 13, which stopped when I started talking about it during the day. The teenage brother of my best friend

    Read More

E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

Read more...