Comments for Child Abuse Story From Tatiana

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Dec 12, 2012
 Tatiana:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You've been abandoned and betrayed by so many people in your life. And yet you still had the intestinal fortitude to quit drugs (though alcohol is still technically a drug) and to find a job in order to better your chances of a future. You survived when others would have perished. But you give the credit to a man who was almost twice your age, a man I might add who was very likely breaking statutory laws by having a relationship with you. From my perspective, Tatiana, this is what I'm asking myself—and don't take it personally, because what I'm about to say is not about you—why would a fully grown mature (mature being the operative word) 28-year-old man choose a relationship with a teenager. Fully grown mature men do not go after 14-, 15-, or 16-year-olds. They choose women who are close to their own age, experience and maturity. That's not to say you're not mature for your age. What I'm saying here is that you don't know what you don't know. There are parts of your brain that still have growing and maturing to do, no matter how mature you believe you are. That won't fully happen until you're about 25 years old. It's biology and physiology. You're infatuated with this man. But he has nothing to offer you in a relationship. Believe me. He's not mature enough to be able to pull his weight in a relationship, and besides, he's in jail. My goodness, Tatiana, you deserve so much better than that. SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Please reach out for help, both for this situation and the one you're in with your aunt and uncle. And start treating your SELF with with dignity and respect and love you deserve. I send you love, light and healing energy, Tatiana. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Dec 16, 2012
 Comments deleted by Webmaster
by: Anonymous

From Darlene - Webmaster: Tatiana, and my other visitors to this thread, I've deleted 4 separate comments from this particular commenter who leaves posts that are judgmental and wholly inappropriate. I cannot block her, but I'll continue to delete her comments before they ever go live on the site.
Dec 18, 2012
 Tatiana,
by: AnonymousT

I know what it feels like to be in love and WANT to be loved. But this isn't love for him. He may say it. but it's not love.

He's using drugs, he's using you to get the drugs. And even though you've been through a LOT and have grown up fast, when we're 16 we think differently than a 28 yr old. I was 16 with a 22 yr old and now, I can look back and go..."whoa, what was he thinking?" I'm a parent of a teen girl now, I protect her. So, seeing what *I* did & knowing what I want for HER...really puts it into perspective for me.
He should not be with you.

You deserve better. You deserve a chance to grow into yourself and find what you love in life. Is it reading? Is it giving to others? Is it acting or singing? Is it gardening?
It doesn't matter WHAT it is, what matters is right now, you can't figure it out when you're attached to him.

Let him go. Find yourself. As hard as it is to believe, you're all you need right now. Love YOU, protect YOU, honor YOU.

I wish you all the luck in the world
T

PS-We share a name. :)
Jan 02, 2013
 I understand hunny
by: Rylana

I was in a situation like this when I was 16, its hard to believe people or listen when your in love, I was dating a man who was 30 when I was 16, looking back now I just think, omg, he should of known better. He is using you for his addiction, true love is looking after you, caring for you, no man that loves someone would ever want his girlfriend sleeping with other strange men to feed their habit, no man would do that, this isn't love. I wonder to myself how long he would stay with you if you said NO, its me or the drugs, not only for your sake but for his.
You need to love yourself first and I feel for you, please take care and look after yourself x


Rylana x

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