Comments for Child Abuse Story From Simply Me

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Mar 31, 2008
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by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

The fact that you refuse to label yourself is not a bad thing. But some counselling could help you with your nightmares and your trust issues with boys. A counsellor may be able to help you understand why you are doing so poorly in school. There are varying degrees of "moving on," Kel. But those degrees can be raised significantly with the help of a qualified therapist. There is no shame in needing and seeking out help. Indeed, admitting to needing help shows strength, not weakness.

I strongly recommend you tell someone what happened to you: a school counsellor, for example. I am concerned that your brother is molesting your other sisters, especially since he continued to molest you for 5 years.

I wish you all the best, Kel. You deserve to find peace and contentment in your life.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Mar 31, 2008
 You are a wise girl
by: Linda

When I read your story, I was surprised that you are only fourteen years old. That brother of yours made you grow up before you got to be a child. You are wise beyond your years. I like your attitude about your abuse, I guess everyone has their own ways of healing. I chose to be reclusive and hate the human race. You have your whole life ahead of you and I wish you well. Thank you for sharing your story.
Apr 04, 2008
 Simply you is just fine
by: Elaine Riley

Kel,

I'm so impressed with the way that you handle yourself, and the way you have written in to share your experiences.

Darlene has done a very considerate job in providing a forum for individuals to share their experiences of abuse.

The way individuals communicate with each other is a very personal thing. We relate to our experiences in different ways, and use different words to talk about them. Like you, I find it strange to think of myself as a "survivor" of abuse. But that is only one of many, many ways of talking about our experiences.

After my abuse, I too thought that I would never again be the same person. I look back, and often cannot relate to what went on then, or even imagine how I had the strength to deal with it. Sometimes, the person I am now feels "detached" from the person I was then...

But I also relise that it WAS me, ALWAYS me. As we grow up, we all change, whether we are abused or not. We see more of the world, and adapt to make sense of new experiences. This journey is part of what makes us who we are.

Whether you see yourself as "surviving" abuse - that, to me, is a personal choice. The important thing is to focus on making sense of who you are now, and making the most of the life you have ahead.

Remember, there are many people who use this website who have a lot in common with you, no matter how they choose to identify themselves. We were abused as children, and as we get older, we must somehow come to terms with that experience, and try to get on with our lives.

Personally, I agree that abuse somehow takes away or destroys a little bit of us, and makes us change. But people are resilient, and you are proof of this. No matter what little bit gets taken away, you can always fill the gap. It is up to you whether you fill that gap with more pain; or whether you fill that gap with good experiences, a stronger you...

One day, it may help you to talk with someone (e.g. a Counsellor) about your past. This is not a sign of weakness. For the moment, you are happy just to be you, and that is great. What you write, shows me a young lady who is eager, excited about her future, has plans. But I also get glimpses of confusion; of someone who is sometimes still troubled by her past.

If you can find someone to confide in, someone to act as a "mentor", I reckon you may find that talking helps you make sense of these feelings. Your teachers, friends and anyone else you feel safe and able to trust should be there to help you achieve your goals in life.

By the way, with the right help, you may find that you can train in Child Care, and use your past experience of abuse to help other children. Sometimes it's useful to have a little "insider knowledge"! I trained as a Social Worker, because it was a way of using my past experience of abuse to benefit other people.

All the very best. You sound like a sensible, responsible young woman.
May 14, 2008
 great job!
by: kristy schultz

hi! my name is kristy schultz.my ex is olympic and world wrestling champ mark schultz.i was an extremely neglected and abused child,then went on to a sexually,physically,and mentally violent marriage,and our three kids suffered his abuse till i was brave enough to leave. i caught your story searching for the right authors and recourses to go public,through the media and a book.my daughter 13,will be suing him, as she suffers from the trauma still today. she, like you, wants to help other youth by sharing her story. you are a brave young lady,i only wish i had accepted and truly acknlowledged what was happening to me as a child, as i would not have let it continue into adulthood.great job- and thank you for sharing, and BEING YOU!!!!! love kristy

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