Comments for Child Abuse Story From Senia

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Apr 04, 2009
 Sadly, MANY have been hurt like you...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Senia, I for one am very happy you survived the nightmare your abusive grandmother put you through, because by surviving you are able to share and therefore help others who have been through something similar. There is great power in that, Senia.

I understand your feelings about looking in the mirror. My mother used to throw me up against the wall. Then she would pick me up by the throat and choke me against that same wall, more often than not, with my feet dangling off the ground. It wasn't unusual for her to keep choking until I blacked out. I now deal with neck and lower back degeneration as a result, and have for many years. I too have scars from some of her more brutal beatings.

When you look at your scars in the mirror, Senia, consider looking at them in a whole new way. Don't see them as scars from your violent grandmother; rather, see them as proof of your internal strength. After all, you DID survive horrible abuse; and THAT makes you very strong.

When I feel the daily pain from my own lingering effects of child abuse, I no longer think about what it was that caused the pain; rather, I focus on nurturing kindness for the part of my body that was so affected. I no longer reject the scarring; rather, I embrace the fact that my body did the best it possibly could to heal itself, and that my job now is to love my body for the fact that it has always been there for me. Sometimes I stumble, but when I do stumble, I'm getting better at quickly remembering to love and embrace the part of my body that I have just rejected. It's a mind-set, Senia, a mindset that takes practice.

But more than practice, at this point I think you need help sorting through all the horrors that were done to you. And not just by your grandmother. You were sent to live with her for a reason; there must be psychological residue about why you were sent there in the first place, about why your mother (and father) put you in harms way. I strongly recommend some for of counselling in order to help you deal with all this emotional residue. You're certainly worth that kind of help, Senia. So treat yourself with kindness and nurturing, and the dignity and respect that no one else ever did by getting that help for yourself. In other words, love yourself.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Apr 05, 2009
 My heart goes out to you
by: Maurice

Senia, you found a stepping stone to real happiness when you stepped into Darlene's site.
A home, a haven from the storm you went through.
A home is very different to a house of bricks and mortar. families create homes, builders build a structure for families to makes homes. Ah but sadly many of us never know what goes on behind closed doors until we share it with someone we trust. That Senia sadly takes longer to do for some more than others. Meaning in quite a number of situation the abuse is greater/severer and takes longer to let go of, or even to make a sense of. Senia you have made a new beginning for yourself. The awful horrendous hurt/pain bruises you had to endure in your tender years by a mother who abused you badly. No excuses, being a self centered woman/alcoholic does not excuse the pain she has caused you. No child deserves to be treated as she (A Mother) treated you) Senia, hopefully you have found one/two real human beings called friend whom love you and treat you as a beautiful/special girl/woman/female. Senia, it maybe easier said than done making the caring/loving Words of Darlene real for you. Please oh Please do heed her words, make the effort. REMEMBER you a beatiful and only you now can make that sadly scarred body of yours beautiful. be gentle with it, be gentle with yourself. share out from within the hurt/pained emotions of those awful years of your life. Not of your doing Senia. You are aware of that now. Darlene knows best because she too had to say, It was not my fault, my doing she is your friend listen to her.
Apr 06, 2009
 Tell
by: Anonymous

why are you still there. call the police, i think it would be better if you were apart from her. tell someone in school like a teacher or a counclor. Do it! be brave....determine your future.
Apr 07, 2009
 Maurice...
by: Francine

With all due respect, Maurice, the person that abused Senia is actually a grandmother.

Senia, I'm sorry that you didn't have a good grandmother. Have you tried counselling yet?
Apr 08, 2009
 Abuse is Abuse irrespective who the abuser is.
by: Maurice

The closer the person is to the abused the greater the mystery as to the why? Grandparents.Parents, Uncles, Aunts, Siblings, When one is abused by any of these a greater trust is broken. Senia forgive me for naming your Mother as your abuser. Grannies are very special people in all our lives as children. So when yours abused you she was wrong, very wrong, Again Darlene's loving words of help, support, and encouragement to you are the best, Take heed of them and your healing process will begin. Thanks to another visitr to Darlen's site who commemneted on your situation out of love and care for you pointing out to me, with all due respect Maurice it was Senia Grandmother that abused her. up to then I was of the opinion when I made a comment that it was between me and the visitor to Darlene's site. Now I know we are a family and friends together feeling and caring for each others pain very genuinely.
Apr 09, 2009
 To Francine with respect
by: Poki

Senia's grandmother was her fill-in mother. Abusers are abusers no matter what their title is.
Apr 09, 2009
 Maurice and Francine...
by: Emme

I can see that you both have wonderful intentions, but you are missing the point. This is not about who is the abuser, or what the abuse was, but the strength to open up about the abuse. Yes, an abuser is an abuser, but we must focus on the young woman who could share her story.
Senia, You are brave woman. I can feel the pain even in the shortness of this story. I too bear the scars of a sadistic abuser, and I too face the pain and the sorrow of having to remeber how I got them. But, raise your head, for these are not scars of shame, but scars of a triumphant survival.
All my love and prayers,
Emme
Apr 10, 2009
 Darlene Thank you Your site is real and well visited and knowing you hold a good stewardship over it makes it truly a loving one for us all
by: maurice

Emme, I had better get your name right or you will rightly point it out to me. I cannot aggre with you more when you take me and Francine to task. Yes Emme the woman/man who finds the courage to tell someone there being abused is what matters. Would you not agree it is important to name as indeed the person telling their story to Darlene and her family of visitors now does to re-assure them that sadly the family member or loved one who is or has abused them is very wrong. Espeially if it is a Father/Mother sister/brother Grandparent. LOVE is supposed to be at the ceneter of all thesse to show love and respect to the Baby.child.Teenager.Adolecent in the family. Emme it is good to read your comment to Senia. I am now closer to other visitors to Darlene's site knowing we all care/love in a special way for the abused child of God telling there story. God bless you Emme
Apr 22, 2009
 A few words...
by: Emme

I see what you are saying, maurice. everything you have stated is undeniably true, and I have a feeling that the tone in which I typed the comment was misinterpreted.
I am not biting your head off for misnaming the abuser. Hell, I wouldn't blame you if you messed up my name as well. It just seemed that the comments took a negative turn as the statement turned into an argument. Forgive me any rudeness or impoliteness, i had not meant to offend.
Apr 23, 2009
 Emme & Maurice:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

As webmaster, I must take responsibility here because I did not prevent the original comment from going live in the first place. I had thought about editing it out, but decided that because Francine used a respectful tone to point out the error, I would let it go. I won't let that happen again. My deepest apologies to both of you. I also apologize to Senia, for allowing this thread to veer off its intended direction.


A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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