Comments for Child Abuse Story From Sally M

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Nov 27, 2009
 Emotional abuse IS the most difficult to overcome...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

On this site there would be very few who would say emotional abuse isn't the worst of the abuses to overcome. The messages from the various types of emotional abuse affect the self-esteem of a child or youth for a long time, sometimes a life time. Your parents are confused, Sally. They aren't thinking clearly. There unrestrained anger is about THEM, not you or your siblings. They are very troubled. Please consider contacting Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the abuse you and your siblings are still dealing with. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the abuse. You can visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: http://www.childhelp.org/get_help

None of what's happening to you is your fault, Sally. Absolutely none of it. You are not worthless. You are worthy of dignity and respect.Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Nov 27, 2009
 Relate
by: Christina

Sally, I'm so sorry for your pain, I can totally relate. Everything you said completely coincides with what I have dealt with. I had the luxury of also having physical abuse that almost left me dead.

As I read your post, my heart broke. I can't tell you HOW many times I told myself (and others) "If I was just better, If I could just be good"... The truth of the matter is - YOU ARE and WERE good just like I was! It was THEM that are not good. I tried my best to get my mom to love me, to care about me. I got excellent grades, never got in trouble, cleaned her house (excessively) and kept a smile on my face all to have my head bashed in (literally) or be drug down the steps by my hair on my face, because of what? All the while she is telling me how she hated me, how she wished I were never born. How if my own father never loved me (he left me when I was 2) how could SHE ever love me.

Words hurt. A lot. And the pain lives inside of you because for years you can't find yourself. You try, you cry, you wish, you watch, you dream that you anyone other than yourself. And then comes the moment that you wish that you were dead. I've been there. There is no lonlier feeling that wishing that you were gone so that nobody could hurt you anymore. I remember the day I told myself I wished I were dead. And I meant it more than anything I've ever said in my life. Death seemed GLORIOUS to me, but I thank GOD everyday that I got out of that mentality. I AM WORTH IT!

I was so lonely. I was so desperate for a way out. I was so little. I was a child just as you were. You ARE precious and worthy of LOVE. You are special and beautiful and NOTHING that they said to you is real. It will never make you WHO you are and it will never DEFINE you. Love yourself everyday because you ARE worth it.

Just like you I spent many years trying to lie to myself. I told myself that I was OKAY... but, I WASN'T. And admitting that to yourself is the very first step to recovery.

Tell yourself you're NOT okay. You ARE hurt. You ARE scared. You ARE broken. Weep, it's okay. But, then stand up and brush yourself off. That little girl was broken but YOU control her future. Love yourself every single day and remember that past is gone, but tomorrow holds many promises that you can fulfill. Hold on to your dreams and if you feel they've been lost - find them again. You can do it. I will keep you in my prayers.
Nov 27, 2009
 You don't have to live like that
by: BMW Princess

Tell your mother that she is being abusive and to stop. Talk to someone you trust like a teache counsler or minister.
You do NOt have to live like that
Nov 28, 2009
 Be Brave, Be Strong, Persevere at loving yourself
by: maurice

Sally M you have shared with Darlene and her very big family who were abused and who have been helped by her comments to their individual stories. She treats each of her visiitors with respect before writing her heartfelt words to each one. She sure is a starting post for each one to take action and get the help she knows or is aware each one needs. Her comment to you is specially for you. Please read it carefully, slowly and where possible get the help that will benefit you. We all needed help so we had to be counselled for some time to get started to let go of the abuse that happened. You must clear your mind of the awful words your mother called you. Christina asks you to think about how you can go about doing that. Think positive, act positive, be positive in all you do and say each day you look in the mirror. Have a healthy mind in a healthy body. mix with others, Be your wonderful and beautiful with them. be true to yourself. I am beautiful, I am precious, I am special, I am Unique. Let go of all the nasty things your Mother said you were. To treat her own child in such a manner was sick, is sick, She has never known what Self worth or self esteem is all about. So Sally M Get yourself in front of the Longest mirror bare and beautiful and say all the wonderful positive adjetives about it. Your beauty comes from within you so shower it all over yourself. Be gentle and sensitive and soothe away all the nastiness thoughts your mother said about you. I can, I will, I must, get a friend or two outside of your normal Boy/Girl relationships someone you can tell all to who will listen and hug you and be there when you need them. A true friend is a very precious jewel in any of our lives. You'll be fine Sally M, go on give yourself one big cuddly hug and say I LOVE ME.
Dec 02, 2009
 Emotional abuse is just as bad
by: Mike

I know emotional abuse is hurtful because it caused a lot of damage to my life, and for me, it wasn't even something nasty like name calling. It was just never hearing the words "I love you".

I was 15, at a relatives house. Their backyard sloped down from the patio a few feet and I was just standing at the top when suddenly my knee gave out and I tumbled down the hill. Everyone was laughing, my parents, aunt and uncle, and others, while I lay at the bottom of the hill with my kneecap out of place. Years later, my parents told me it was only a few seconds, then they realised I was hurt and went and got me, but to me it felt like they were laughing for minutes, not seconds. That started a downhill spiral.

I suddenly started thinking that they didn't love me, then realised I haven't heard those words for as long as I could remember, so to prove myself wrong, I started specifically paying attention to prove to myself that they did love me, and never heard those words until I told them this story 10 years later. After telling my mother the story, her reply was "you know we love you".

The day after the accident I had surgery to put my kneecap back in place and for the next 3 years I constantly had suicidal thoughts, then attempted it one day. For the next several years, my life was a roller coaster, then a year ago I went to my doctor for help and a psychiatrist told me I had a chemical imbalance depression and I started taking Bupropion. The past year has been much different for me and I'll probably be on the meds for life. I lost 30 years of my life because of something minor. I can only imagine how bad it would be for those who are verbally abused.

Remember, your parents are the ones with a problem, not you. Please take care of yourself and get some help getting over it.
Apr 06, 2010
 It is not your fault!
by: Anonymous

oh honey i am so sorry for you. i know how much names can hurt, and it must be so much worse coming from your paretns. talk to someone you trust, like a teacher or an adult member of your family, and get your parents to stop. and remember that it is NOT your fault.

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