Comments for Child Abuse Story From S

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Jul 20, 2009
 You are NOT responsible and you most certainly have nothing to feel guilty for...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

S, you are NOT "damaged goods"; you were sexually assaulted as a little girl by a grown man who knew it was wrong but didn't care. You have nothing to feel guilty for because you did nothing wrong. You are not responsible because you were a vulnerable child; HE was the adults. As long as you believe on even some level that you are guilty, responsible, or damaged goods, your intimate relationships will suffer.

I'm very glad that you now have a good relationship with your mother and your brother; that's a very positive things. There is something though that must be faced if you have any hope of getting to a true healing place: You were continually exposed to a predator, even after you told your mother. You said she was "understanding". As your mother, regardless of the personal finances, etc. she owed it to you to protect you and remove that man from your life. In essence, you—YOU—were the cost of keeping the household in order. You were—ARE—worth so much more than that, S. Until you begin to believe that yourself, you will continue to see yourself as "damaged goods". This isn't about passing blame, S; it's about dealing with the stuff that is at the root of what you are now facing: issues of intimacy. And as time moves on and you reach various ages and stages of your life, there may well be other issues that crop up quite unexpectedly.

I urge you to seek out some form of counselling in order to help you deal with the turmoil and the repercussions of being sexually assaulted one, by a pedophile, and two, in order to ensure your family was taken care of. A professional may be able to help you overcome these so that intimacy will be possible for you. You certainly deserve it.

The advice you have given in your story is so important for others to know, S. Thank you for sharing both with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jul 21, 2009
 The power of telling and sharing in trust begins healing
by: maurice

Hiya S, your story is so powerful in positivity that it only great to hear the loving family you have now because you loved your mom enough to trust her and telling her. Great you were trusting enough of yourself to say Mam will understand. Great you were ever so brave to stand up to that very vile and sick man. I freak out with anger when I read that it is a step father who has perpetrated the abuse. S will you please love yourself, love your body, look in the mirror and begin to build up a very positive and strong beautiful image of your self worth, self esteeem. Darlene has said wonderful and true words of love to you. if you read them you will LOVE yourself all the more. Your tender body was abused at the most vulnerable age, it was not your fault, you were not to blame, You were so fearful that your mam would be hurt again by this man at the time he was using you and abusing you. You waited until you were strong enough to challenge and tell him. Good on you S. A great lesson for many in what you did and your words of advice, please talk, please tell. Your the Best, you'll be fine You'll be fine in your relationships. Always make sure you respect yourself first, then ask for that respect back from the friends who will allow you to be your beautiful and special self. Please read Darlene, her words are so empowering for you.
Sep 06, 2009
 wow
by: tori

I feel really sorry
Sep 07, 2009
 I'm Sorry are empowering words from someone who cares.
by: maurice

Oh S, I hope you are being gentle and kind in your healing process on yourself. I sincerely hope you are receiveing all the help Darlene sugested you need and I encouraged you to get. I We feel for each other genuinely after our abuse because we can emphatise with each others pain and the effects it has ever so real but different for each one of us. Each of us has to find his/her way of coming to grips with it and get on with living our lives to the full. Hi S say I can, I will I most. Don't you Quit trying.

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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