Comments for Child Abuse Story From Rebecca

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Sep 07, 2009
 Consider your options and possible outcomes and then make an informed decision...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Rebecca, the best place for advice per se is with your therapist, at least on a level that you can discuss your options. No one who visits here can or should give you advice on what to do. That is not the purpose of this site. You can only look at the options, know what the possible outcomes are, and then make a decision on how to go forward. What I will tell you is that confrontations are typically wracked with denials, minimizations and outright blame toward the victim. As for healing, oh yes, it is possible, but it means a commitment to your Self, living in the Present moment as opposed to living in the Past. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Sep 08, 2009
 Lucky You. Always believe in yoursefl.
by: maurice

I say lucky you Rebecca after reading Darlene's comment to you. She is ever so loving and caring of each of her visitors even now in her busier lifestyle she gives her site the respect it deserves and she knows her stewardship of re-assures her many visitors. How right you are when you say, to all those who are in the same boat, I am glad that there is a place that our secrets can be spoken without fear of judgement to others who understand. Rebecca it is so important you read Darlene's comment back to you. Her words are all that matters to each of her visitors. I share a comment in the hope I say something which is from my heart that will encourage the writer of their own story to take action which will help in their healing process. I write as if I was listening to each one's story. I try to the best of my ability to emphatise with their hurt and pain. Abuse effects each one evr so differently and we all need encouraging words to do something about healing from it. Darlene sure made that clear to you Rebecca. Her words are the steeping stones; for us all to take action in that process. Always believe in yourself, your parents while trying to forgive and forget what your sister did on you. Erasing those memories will take time, But you are strong, Take living your life in your stride. Love yoursefl, have a high self esteem of yoursefl. See that wonderful and beautiful you in the mirror, I can, I will, I must just for me because I'M SPECIAL AND I LOVE ME.
Oct 08, 2009
 You're not alone
by: Anonymous

Dear Rebecca, I don't know if you'll read this because it's been a while since you posted here, but I wanted to respond and let you know you're not alone with the way you feel. It's really difficult to have memories of abuse and then see the same people who were abusive and relate to them as loving family, and know that part of them is loving, but another part is also the person who hurt you. It's great you can tell others who you trust and who you're close to about your experience. I've found that is what helps me the most. Taking the step to be heard and supported by other people is courageous of you, and also helps people (like me) who have also been suffering with their secrets. Thanks for sharing your story.
I also wanted to write about your description of how you know you can't get rid of what's happened. I also sometimes think that I want to just not have my memories any more. I've taken time to write them down?they strike like a frying pan to the head sometimes?and then I spend time with them. This way I feel that at least I'm being there for the person I was back when I was abused, because I'm taking the time to acknowledge my struggle and my experience. For me, I can look at what happened to me when I'm by myself. For some people they need to be with a therapist who can help them and support their process because their memories are too painful and cause them to have physical responses, like panic attacks. I just wanted to write that by taking the time, with your therapist, to see what happened to you, is a really good thing that you're doing for yourself. Because even if no one else acknowledges what happened, YOU have acknowledged what happened to you, so YOU have been there for yourself. When I realized I could do this it gave me a tremendous sense of power over my own life, one that I hadn't felt before. This is perhaps what you're hoping to some day feel. A sense that you have your memories, but they are there to give you the ability to have strength, and can no longer cripple you emotionally and/or physically.
I just hope you know you're not alone with your feelings. I related to aspects of your story. And, by sharing with your trusted friends and therapist, you are working toward what it is you want to feel. Just don't give up on yourself, remember to be there for yourself when you have memories.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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