Comments for Child Abuse Story From Paula H

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Jan 30, 2012
 Paula:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Your children feel betrayed and abandoned by you. They do not see you as a victim. They see you as a perpetrator. Unless and until you do acknowledge your role in the abuse your children experienced, chances are you will never have a relationship with them. Even if you do acknowledge, the relationship may well have been so damaged that your children decide to severe all ties permanently. I'm not judging you here; I'm simply giving you the facts as I see them. Your children will never believe that you blocked out what happened to you because THEY didn't blocked it out when it happened to them. They don't believe you could have blocked it out because THEY couldn't block it out. They will always believe you put them in harms way and enabled the abuse. That if you had protected them as a mother protects her children from such things, especially given the sexual abuse you endured at this same pedophile's hands, they wouldn't have been sexually abused. Paula, to your children, it's not enough that you put him on trial and that you named and shamed him in the media when he got nothing for a sentence after being convicted. What matters to your children is that they were sexually abused by the same man who sexually abused you, and that you did nothing to prevent it from happening in the first place. They cannot understand that you could have blocked it from your memory. Please seek out some form of counselling or therapy in order to help you deal with what happened to you in your childhood, and the repercussions that have followed you through adulthood. You didn't deserve to be abused. You certainly deserve help for the fact that you were. Whether or not that will make a difference in your relationship with your children, I cannot say. But you must start with your Self. I send you love, light and healing energy, Paula. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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