Comments for Child Abuse Story From Paul

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Oct 21, 2012
 Paul:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

When you lie you do your Self a disservice, a disservice that may well have life-long effects on you. When you lie, you rob your Self of the opportunity to get the help you need for what you have endured. You said it was a sitter who you "slept with". First of all, if you had a sitter at age 13, I gather this person was an adult. At 13 years of age, you could not consent to a sexual act with an adult. If this person was an adult, then you were sexually abused because you could not consent. This person took advantage of your youth and your vulnerabilities. It matters not that it was a same-sex situation; you were still abused. Abusers seek out children and youth who are troubled, children and youth who don't have many friends, children and youth who are in desperate need of attention. Abusers seek them out in order to "groom" them into believing they were the ones who wanted it. They take advantage of all that is missing in that child or youths life. Paul, this abuser stole from you what was you most cherished possession: your trust. Please understand that it is perfectly normal for a young male to experience an erection and even an orgasm when he is being abused. That doesn't make it any less abusive. You're confused in your feelings about this abuser because he showed you what you believe was friendship and even love. Nothing could be further from the truth. This is such a confusing time for you, so please be honest with your therapist so that he or she can help you with your confusion. And I'm not talking about whether or not your gay, because you are perfect no matter what your sexual orientation is. What I'm talking about is the way you've characterized the relationship. He was your abuser, Paul. This is an important distinction to understand. I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Oct 22, 2012
 Comments deleted by Webmaster
by: Anonymous

From Darlene - Webmaster: Paul, and my other visitors to this thread, I've deleted 4 separate comments from this particular commenter who leaves posts that are judgmental and wholly inappropriate. I cannot block her, but I'll continue to delete her comments before they ever go live on the site.
Oct 26, 2012
 Paul,
by: AnonymousT

If you're jumping that implies you're scared or anxious for some reason. If you liked hugs before you were 13 but do not now, that is also a clue that what happened between you and yur sitter did not sit well with you.

Darlene is right, you were underage and could not give consent.
But beyond that - your mind, your body and your soul are telling something was wrong.
You are here on a child abuse site, another clue.
You are searching for help.

I'm sorry he took advantage of you & your body but also, your feelings. WHen our emotions are tied to our abuse it can be very difficult to seperate it all.

I do hope you find a way to talk about what happened and to make use of the resources on this site so you can begin to heal.

T
Nov 06, 2012
 unknown
by: Mercy

im the same way sometimes i lie and it hurts me and the people around me but sometimes i lie to protect the people i love.

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