Comments for Child Abuse Story From Onion

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Jan 22, 2008
 The abuse WAS that bad
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Abuse is hell, no matter what type of abuse it is. Minimizing whatever abuse a person has lived through only serves to temporarily remove that person from the emotional pain, and therefore, stunts the healing and recovery process.

As a child, you needed to feel loved and wanted and supported by your mother. Emotional abuse is one of the most difficult to overcome, because it takes a thousand positive pats on the back for every time a child is degraded or made to feel unloved and unwanted. Neglect has the effect of making a child feel worthless and unlovable. You deserved your mother's love and you deserved to be wanted by her. It was a birthright. I hope you're giving yourself the pats on the back that you never received as a child. I believe that giving yourself what you didn't get as a child is at the core of healing, because when you start to treat yourself well, you start to re-program the negative debasing messages.

As an adult you came to realize that your mother's "look" was "contempt and pleasure." Our mother's must have been cast from the same nefarious mold. I really do understand and feel for what you went through. Keep up the good work with your healing and recovery. You're worth it.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jan 27, 2008
 Child Abuse Story from Onion
by: Anonymous


I'm sorry you went through such a terrible experience with the person who should have cushioned life's ups and downs. You are not alone. Many people go through similar experiences, much more so than we would like to believe. My parents have always said that the good thing about a child who suffers abuse is that they will eventually grow and leave the abusive environment. Unfortunally, they take the pain with them. I do agree with this, but the good thing is that healing will come to those who seek it. It might be a long process but healing and a full life awaits once the healing has taken place. You will be a much happier person and your past abuse will simply be a bad memory!!! Believe that you will be okay and you will!
Jan 27, 2008
 don't be anonymous
by: Onion

Thanks Darlene, your comments have helped me to make some good decisions.

Anonymous, abuse survivers have trust issues and your comment reveals nothing about yourself. We are here to share and you are not sharing. There are things here to distrust - the way you talk about your parents even mentioning the word "abuse" worries me. I am not saying that you haven't been abused but you need to open up here to feel safe and immediately believed.
Jan 29, 2008
 i knought what you mean
by: lucie

My mom was like that and still is. I'm 43 years old and it's till hurting me.
Jan 29, 2008
 You're very welcome
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm really happy to hear that my comments helped you to make some good decisions, Onion. I appreciate that you took the time to tell me that and to say thank you.

And don't be too hard on Anonymous below for not revealing more of the abuse; survivors are at varying degrees of readiness, even when they can remain anonymous and disclose in a safe way. Perhaps this person will read more of the stories and comments on this site and find it helpful for disclosing purposes. We can only hope.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Feb 02, 2008
 Comment deleted
by: Candice

***Comment titled "Life full of sadness" deleted by Darlene Barriere - Webmaster***

To Candice: This space is reserved for comments directed at Onion, the person who wrote the accompanying child abuse story. I have removed your comment and will consider it as a story for its own page. Thank you.

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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