Comments for Child Abuse Story From Nancy3

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Nov 25, 2008
 Congratulations on where you are today, Nancy...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I first have to congratulate you on being clean and sober...well done, Nancy! And I'm delighted that you are in a healthy relationship. You are certainly on the right path.

I'm going to address your opening sentence: To say "Sometimes I wonder if my story is as bad as others" is to minimize what happened to you. I don't ever measure the abuse; but rather, the effects the abuse had on you and your psyche. Because that's the true outcome, Nancy; not whether you were beaten worse or molested more often or demeaned more or less than anyone else. This is about dealing with your personal hell and your personal truth. Hell is hell, regardless of the degree of that hell.

Good on you for recognizing that you need counselling, and that you may be there for a while yet. You are well on your way, Nancy. I applaud you for all that you've become, despite what you lived.

I'm still shaking my head in incredulity at the remark made by your parents: "...love was a mountain and that I was chipping away at it". Such a dreadful comment by a parent is nothing short of twisted, cruel and malicious. You didn't deserve to be treated with such disregard. You deserved to be loved and nurtured and treated with dignity and respect. Your parents (and your pervert of a grandfather) are the warped ones, Nancy; not you. You were—ARE—perfect as you were. You were and still ARE loveable. You were and still ARE worthy. Whatever was going on with your parents is on them; you are not to blame for any of it. I do hope you know that, and I do hope you never lose sight of that. And just for the record, I see you as amazingly and undeniably SMART SMART SMART!

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Nov 25, 2008
 How Could They?!
by: Francine

That is crazy! Nancy, your so-called family is so wrong. You are not a border; you are not a disgrace; you are not a witch; you are beautiful, smart, worthy and articulate. Your family, along with that pervert who calls himself "grandpa" are twisted and evil and should be in prison, along with your stepfather for life. I am delighted that you are in therapy. I wish you all the best.
Nov 25, 2008
 safe hugs
by: sal

sorry for all you went through. i think that sometimes we minimize the pain we are feeling because we think our story isn't so bad, we should just get over it. i think we could do the same thing by saying i am not as good as everyone else around me. it imprisons us in our misery. until you tell, you feel like you are bad, wrong, and all you feel is pain. i am glad you told your story. what you went through was horrible. i am sorry for you. get better by listening to good people tell you advice, like what you got here. there is a lot you can do to empower yourself and to heal. i think for me, the first thing was to accept that i had a right to say that i was hurting, that it was not okay, and that it did happen. it was not your fault. you did nothing wrong to be born into such a dysfunctional family. i hope that you begin to heal.
Dec 05, 2008
 question
by: Nancy3

I have something that has bothered me for years. When i was 3 and my younger sister was 6 months my mother 'fell down the stairs while holding my sister'. my sister died. Years later my mother told me something that haunts me. She said that she heard a voice that told her to let go of the baby while she was falling. i know that my sister cried constantly and I know that my mother beat and abused my in many ways. I think my mother got angry and shook her or something that made her fall. It just doesn't feel right to me. I feel like I saw something or I know something. I was in the house when it happened.

What do you think?

Note from Darlene: Nancy, no one can answer such a question. And please understand that I get thousands of visitors every day. I'm very sorry that I am no longer in a position to answer questions from my visitors. I trust you understand.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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