Comments for Child Abuse Story From Name Withheld1

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Mar 10, 2010
 A number to call...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You don't deserve to be mistreated. Please consider contacting ChildLine on 0800 1111 in order to talk to someone about what you are dealing with at home. You can visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: http://www.donthideit.com

And I agree with you: Being different does not give anyone permission to abuse or bully anyone. Thank you for sharing your story and your very important message with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Mar 11, 2010
 So sad
by: Anonymous

Your beast of a mother is wrong. You are not worthless; in fact, you are beautiful, smart and worthy of love and care. Many parents protect their children from harm (they don't abuse them) so the sooner you tell someone you really trust, the better.
Mar 11, 2010
 But its not true what they say
by: Scott Canada

Its not true what those people say about you. Its not right what is happening to you and what has happened to you in the past.
Sounds to me that your a very intelligent articulate person. Your smart enough to know what is right and wrong. Smarter than those people doing the bullying and hurting.
Knowing your smart and aware of your surroundings empowers you. You know they are wrong and that is the first step.
Darlene is correct, you should seek the help of others to overcome your situation.

Those awful gnat's drive you crazy and get into the furniture and its impossible to remove the eggs from the hair roots by yourself, so I'm told. I have friends that had to cut their hair completely off to get rid of them. Wash and bag all the clothes and bedding and vacuum all the furniture and use special shampoo AND that comb as well. They had gnats for weeks.
You are right, this is good place to tell your story and share it with others. I, like many, shared my story also. Another first step. I, like you, had terrible experiences with bullies etc in school and know how your feeling and what your going through. Take care and hope everything turns out.
Its not true what they say, and YOU are smart enough to know it.
Apr 16, 2010
 Feedback...
by: Desiree

Your story made me cry. Just reminds me of some issues I prefer to bury and keep in the past. Of all the stories on here that I have read, I choose to leave my feedback on yours. I would like to express MY opinions and my views. I welcome anyone to disagree... and share their own thoughts. I've read so many posts from people just dogging the abusers... and to be honest, I feel bad... why? Because... the abusers then become the victims. They were victims to begin with and that is why many of them are the way they are and do they things they do. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes, but doing such does not make one an evil person nor does it give them reason to be sentenced to death. For example: a father molests his daughter - I am fully aware that this is wrong!!! This is wrong in every way possible, but to say that he deserves to be behind bars forever or to even die is not the answer. He's sick and needs to seek proper medical help. I don't see the father as a molester and the daughter as his prey, I look at him as a sick man who needs to get help. Being behind bars will not solve anything! And surely, the death penalty is most definitely not the answer. Child abuse takes place in many forms and it is essential on being able to recognize it. I think the main issue in today's world is... simply, parents are NOT doing their job the right way. There is no such thing as the perfect parent, but when it comes to the well-being of a child... you should try your hardest. It is the parent's responsibility to make sure the child is free from harm and has all the things they need. This includes a roof over their head, clothes on their back, food on the table, and most importantly... love and nourishment! (Sorry... had to vent for a little bit...) Now sweetheart, let me get back to you. I am not going to say your mother is a bad individual'however, I will say that she has failed as a mother (as of now) due to the fact that she is not doing her job. Your story and my story are not that different. You know, I read over and over... how people claim to "hate" their parents. I think it's truely impossible to hate the two people who gave you life. You can never hate them as a person, you just hate the things they do. You love your parents unconditionally and believe it or not... underneath all the pain they may have caused you... they love you! Trust me... and LOVE is something people on here seem to forget. I don't have my mother anymore... but how I would do anything to have her back... how I would do anything to have a relationship with her... anything to just let her know that I love her so. Anyway, as for your brother... he's your brother... your sibling. He's wrong for treating you the way he does, but look at it from his point of view... not only are you a victim, but he is a victim, as well. Please have some kind of understanding. I wish you the best in life and I assure you that things will get better within time. Goodluck.
Apr 16, 2010
 To Desiree:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I understand what you're trying to say to this person. I will however add something that needs to be added: Hatred is something that is very real when you come from abuse; and to deny that it exists because somehow one loves a parent/brother/relative/etc "unconditionally" is to invalidate the feelings that the victim truly experiences. That's not to say that once a person deals with their pain and anger/hostility that they won't end up feeling exactly the opposite.

I am a believer in meeting people where they are. If they say they "hate", then they hate...allowing someone to feel what they've always been told they are not feeling, or not entitled to feel, or not allowed to feel is to re-victimize them. When we deny what we feel we bury those feelings, and then they fester and ultimately, can negatively affect every aspect of our lives.

What I'm really trying to point out is that although I respect your opinion on this matter (and on other matters as well), I am asking that you be very careful not to invalidate what a victim may be feeling. I thank you for your understanding.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Apr 17, 2010
 My apology.
by: Desiree

Darlene,
Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate it very much, and I can clearly see why you said the things you said. I admit, I may have been out of line and for that I do apologize to this sweet individual. To re-victimize was the last of my intentions... once again: I apologize. However, let me put this out here. I am, no, WAS, a victim of abuse... and I can honestly say I have never really felt animosity/hatred of any kind to my family (abusers). When you love someone, you overlook their faults. You recognize and realize that they have a problem. As I said... it's just my opinion... I think it's truely impossibly to really hate. I don't think anyone knows what "hate" really is! To me... "hate" is just an emotion... that will soon pass. And Darlene, everyone of us living are all victims of circumstance... the thing is to move on, get over it, and make the best of life. Some are more stronger than others while others seek a way out that may not be so good. I think what you do is a wonderful thing and it helps so many people in need. I'm thankful for stubbling across your website. Once again, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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