Comments for Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed37

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Feb 03, 2010
 I understand more than you might realize...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I too hated my parents. I too made the decision to never have children out of fear that I might abuse any children I had. I even took the unprecedented steps to have my tubes tied when I was twenty years old to make sure I never changed my mind. I'm not advocating such drastic measures, nor am I advocating that women make the decision to be childless when they come from abuse. I'm just saying that I do understand your thought process and reasoning. I have no regrets, but that might not be the case with you or other women who have made that decision. What I do urge is some form of counselling in order to help you deal with the anger and hostility you still feel, because that anger and hostility will continue to eat at you and consume you if you don't. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Feb 04, 2010
 me too
by: Scott Canada

I hated my father. I too swore to never have kids, never spread his D.N.A. I swore his seed would die with me but no! My brother had 1 and my sister had 2. I distanced myself from them too as best as I could. Eliminate the risk. I wont poison these people with that self destructive crap.
These kids dont and wont know about him. They wont learn about their grandfather from me. My sister is a different story. She in such denial its sickening. If they had met him he would have destroyed them as well.
I recall my brothers child was sitting on that mans knee. This was shortly before it died. My father bouncing him up and down on his knee holding his hands so he didnt fall off and telling him he was stupid because he couldn't keep balance. I watched all this. I watched as he called this infant a dummy...a little dummy. Over and over and over. Of course I didnt say anything, it wasn't worth a punch in the mouth and a trip to reform school.

It all brought back memories and I knew what was in store for him. Thank goodness he died before poisoning that childs soul.

Im 45 and WILL NOT HAVE CHILDREN!!!
Feb 04, 2010
 She never fails to amze me Listen to her, heed her words to you
by: Maurice

My respect and high esteem for Darlene and her setting up of her site has been affirmed and confirmed by her Comment to you Undisclosed 37.beautiful human being. Her comment is so natural, true and real that you cannot be but moved and helped by her honesty. She truly is a big hearted woman, trained and professionally re-assuring in the advice she gives each of her visitors and me. A truly honest woman. You too can get hope from her words. Begin to trust the real you. deep within you is a very capable person to have children. Fear may hold you back for a while, Always believe in yourself. I likewise decided not to have children out of fear. It was a good choice for me but there are times I would love to have children to carry on my good name. But alas at 63 no fear of that now. I had the fear that I might spank/beat them as I was so I made my choice. Even still when I see my friends children actin up I'm conciously saying a good spank would sort you out. The effect of abuse linger on. Hi undisclosed 37. Love yourself, believe in yourself, trust yourself, build up your won self esteem. Have a healthy mind in a healthy body. Look in the mirror and say loving positive constuctive affirmations about yourself to yourself. You'll be fine. You'll be happy. Once you vale all that Darlene said to you inher cooment. ever so honest for your benefit.
Feb 07, 2010
 me either
by: suz

i am too scared to have kids as well !

Feb 26, 2010
 Kids??
by: Bobbi

I understand the fear of having children. I chose to have kids but only after finding the perfect man for me. We chose to take the path of looking at what our parents did right, if not much, and use that. Then we look at the things they did wrong and how we can do differently. For instance our children will never have to worry about where they are going to sleep that night or if they will get their next birthday, but they do have consequences to their actions. I you truy feel that you can't handle it then that is your decision to make. I do suggest however that you give yourself the chance to be once you have healed and find the right other half. For having children has made me realize how messed up the people who are capable of hurting kids really are, and they have shown me what true unconditional love is. Each of my children has connecte me to an innocence I wouldn't know if I hadn't had them. Love to you, and all who read this. May God guide you through life.

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