Comments for Child Abuse Story From Melissa4

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May 31, 2010
 Melissa:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Two areas to read on this site under types of emotional abuse that can help you understand are terrorizing and witnessing. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
May 31, 2010
 You need real help NOW: Please seek it out Now
by: maurice

Melissa 4 your Father abused you: He was a little more deceptive in all the stuff he did to you: You regared it as a form of playing or messing with you: At the same time he was touching you, he was throwing things at you, He certainly was not respecting you for being his child whom he should have been loving and cherishing you as his child: Helping you to grow up with a healthy mind in a healthy body: Instead of terrorizing you with all his touching of your bottom and generally emotionally abusing you all the little things he did to you making you feel angry. cross, annoyed, Humiliating you lowering your self worth and self confidence: Darlene has given you ways of knowing more about the type's of abuse he put you through: She sure knows he was unfair to you: He abused your siblings too by his beating of them and treating them harshly in the name of control and discipline; He was getting his kicks from such behaviour: Please also speak with a counsellor who will put you at ease regarding all you have writtent here on Darlene's Site: It is a safe haven for all who visit it so Millissa 4. Kniow that and you will get great learning and help from all Darlene requests you to read: She will put you on the right tracks to recovery of the effects you are having doubts about, as to whether it was abuse or not: It was emotional abuse: Sadly through the years in the hiddeness of homes Fathers abused there children by innocently playfully doing things that were inapropriate to be doing to his children: Especially bottom touching pinching etc: Melissa 4 stay safe: Be safe: You'll be fine; Live well, laugh alot, love much beginning with yourself: Have a healthy mind in a healthy body: That is one sure way of naturally getting on with your life: Being involved with others your own sex and peers taking part in sporting and cultural activities widens your horizons about yourself and where you are going: There is safety in numbers:
May 31, 2010
 Your abuse was just as bad
by: Mike

You were being abused, just a bit differently. You are probably being affected seriously by it because you feel guilty thinking the others had it worse. That's causing mixed feelings for you which is sort of messing you up twice.

You did nothing wrong and need to get help getting over what happened and your own guilt of what happened.
Jun 01, 2010
 You are NOT overreacting
by: Teddy

I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, Melissa. No one deserves to be attacked mentally and physically by the person who's supposed to be there to care for you and love you.

First off, don't worry too much about whether it's "technically" considered abuse. Dictionary.com defines abuse as: "1. to use wrongly or improperly; misuse: to abuse one's authority." By that definition, yes, you were abused. Whether it falls into the legal definition of child abuse or not is beside the point. You were mistreated and you have every right to feel the way you do over that.

Secondly, your siblings having it worse than you doesn't help you. In fact, it could very easily make it worse. You say your other siblings were beaten, but never you. I don't know your siblings, but often times siblings lash out or treat badly a sibling who they see being treated better, or in this case not as badly, as they are. You never mentioned how your siblings treat you, but it can be very important. If your siblings treat you badly, it could affect your self esteem on top of how your dad treated you.

You said you want to die and have been sent to the hospital four times for it. Wanting to die that badly usually comes from feeling completely rejected, not just by close friends and/or family, but by the world.

There's nothing in the world that everyone can agree on. There are no two people alike and also there is no one who is completely unique. There is someone or a group of people somewhere who will accept you for who you are. I think you're looking in the wrong places. Perhaps your siblings aren't suicidal because they found a social circle of friends who they feel like they belong to and are safe with. My advice to you, Melissa, is that you find the closest person to you or go to a social activity that you share interest in and find someone who will accept you for who you are and love you. Rejection makes you want to leave the world and leave those who reject you. Love will make you want to stay. You can reject the ones who make you feel like you don't matter, and you can accept people into your life who genuinely care about you and want you to stay and will be there for you no matter what. You don't have to leave the world to leave those who reject you. It's a big world out there.

I hope it all works out for you, Melissa, and thank you for being so brave and posting your experiences here.

-Teddy

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