Comments for Child Abuse Story From Maria1

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Dec 23, 2008
 Statute of limitations on child abuse is a State affair...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Maria, if you want to pursue charges against your adoptive mother for historical child abuse, you'll have to look up the statute of limitation laws for child abuse in the state the abuse occurred. The same goes for your brothers. I will caution you about such cases though; if you proceed you must also be prepared for a not guilty verdict. You must be prepared because if a not guilty verdict came down, you wouldn't only feel frustration and disappointment, you would feel re-victimized and likely go through the same emotional trauma you did as a child when the police didn't do anything after she beat you. Most adults who do go ahead with a lawsuit against an abusive parent do so for the same reasons you want to: to punish him/her for the harm inflicted. But it must be understood that "punishment" may not occur; and you as the plaintiff have to be ready for that. You must also understand that now that there has been a psychiatric diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia, she could use it as a defense and escape the "punishment" you are seeking. Consult an attorney to get more information.

Maria, you now have a baby boy who counts on you to be there for him in every possible way. As long as you are focused on making your adoptive mother pay for her crimes against you, you will not be emotionally available to your son. I want to be clear, Maria, I'm not saying that you should or shouldn't pursue a case against your adoptive mother. What I am saying is that you have more than just yourself to consider now.

Regardless of your decision, I strongly urge you to get some form of counselling. A counsellor may be able to help you deal with your traumatic past, including the betrayal and abandonment issues you have with your biological mother. You deserve that kind of help, Maria. And your son deserves to have an emotionally healthy mother.

As for your adoptive mother harassing you, depending on the degree of the harassment, you might need to consider a restraining order. Talk to the authorities about such an order.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Dec 23, 2008
 Such cruelty, and enabler for a biological mother and the system and the vicious beater for the foster mother
by: Francine

Maria, I am sorry about what you went through. Oddly enough, I went through the same thing; my parents often took pleasure in destroying something beautiful that I own and are actually intent on destroying me...your so-called foster mother even took pleasure in disciplining you as well as taking pleasure in breaking all your toys. She is wrong, too. You are not bad; you are not a whore, you are NOT a slut. You are a good girl; don't ever let anyone think otherwise. I hope you tried counselling. Everyone loves my parents and would never take my side. Even my family social worker named (name removed)just sat there, mocking me and telling me that it was my fault, that I just keep breaking all the rules at home and that I never listen to my parents. The only badness that I see comes from your mother. As for your step-dad, I'm sorry that he died cuz I understand how close you were to him. As for that so-called system, that chicken of a CPS system is a joke cuz they took pleasure in making sure that you get hurt even further; they should've been there for you and not your so-called foster mother. I wish you and your son all the best. Mark my words, sweetheart: NO PARENT OF ANY GENDER, BIO, STEP OR FOSTER, SHOULD EVER BERATE YOU; THEY SHOULD NEVER BRAG ABOUT LABELLING YOU AS "BAD"; THEY SHOULD NEVER DENY YOU ANYTHING; THEY SHOULD NEVER FORCE-FEED YOU ANYTHING THAT YOU DON'T LIKE TO EAT (including that bologna sandwich) LET ALONE FORCE YOU TO PUKE; THEY SHOULD NEVER DELIGHT IN MAKING YOU CRY...AND THEY SHOULD NEVER GLOAT ABOUT BEATING YOU.

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