Comments for Child Abuse Story From Louise1

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Jul 21, 2009
 Misdirected arguing...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Louise, the damage your mother caused with her verbal and physical attacks do not have to last a lifetime, unless you allow it to. You must question all that your mother's messages sent to you. They were all lies, Louise. You are not any of those horrid things she called you. She clearly was not in her right mind when she said and did these things to you; and even though you might on some level understand this, you still believe the lies. And when you do believe the lies, you will act in a way that is a self-fulfilling prophecy; in other words, you will act out the way you believe you are.

You are also trying to push your boyfriend away with the arguing. You are in essence re-enacting all the arguments you had with your mother, only you're doing it with your boyfriend because this time around you have the power that you did not have as a child. You are now exerting that power with your boyfriend, but it is misdirected.

Given some comments you've placed on another thread on this site, I happen to know that you are now pregnant. Hormones can magnify the problem. But you must choose to put an end to the way you continue to "fight for your life with your mother" through the arguments you insist on having with your boyfriend; otherwise, you will drive him away. He is NOT your mother, Louise. He's the daddy of your unborn baby. He loves you and the baby. Now it's time to show love to your Self the way your mother did not show you love—not that she didn't love you; rather, that she had too many problems of her own to show it to you properly.

You are going to become a mother. Just because you were abused does not mean you will abuse your baby. The fact that you are aware is huge. Try to seek out some form of counselling for yourself, before the baby comes. You are certainly worth it, Louise. And so it the developing baby you are carrying. Love yourself enough to do this.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jul 21, 2009
 thankyou...
by: Louise

Thankyou Darlene, very wise words! I totally agree with you an i jus need to give myself a chance now. I think i may have to read your comment often to keep me on track other wise i dont think il ever succeed! Your advice has already helped me alot. Thankyou so much.

Louise

From Darlene: Louise, you are SO welcome. And I'm delighted that the comments I've made on the site have helped you. There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that you WILL succeed and that you will be a fantastic mother. Consider that your mother was your greatest teacher: You'll do what you must to ensure your child never grows up experiencing what you experienced. There is tremendous power in that.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jul 21, 2009
 Such Cruelty
by: Francine

Louise, your mother is wrong. You are not stupid; you are not an idiot; you are not a stupid cow; you are not ugly; you are not a "forgodsake"; you are not a "f***sake"; MY WORD, YOU ARE NONE OF THESE LIES/NAMES. You are beautiful and smart and articulate and worthy of love and respect. Your mother is very twisted in her own way of thinking and she needs help, so I agree with Darlene. But you need help, too, and if you tried counselling, I hope you stay in counselling. I'm so glad your boyfriend is with you now because he is so sweet for doing that!
Jul 21, 2009
 you'll never know until you take the love expressed to you in comments.
by: maurice

Louise 1. Darlene spoke from her heart to you in her comment. if you want to move on just read and believe what her loved words are saying to you. if you want to, accept i am in charge of me now in my life. I love me, I believe that I can accomplish anything I want for me in my life. Darlene has offered you a way upwards and onwards in your life. you'll love yourself if you heed her words. Always believe in yourself, heed Darlene's words to you, you'll be fine, you'll succeed. you'll be a winner just for you. Begin with loving yourself, respecting yourself and then Darlene's words will mean the world to you, your friend (s) will help you and even with professional help. I'm Special, I love me, look in the mirror and hug yourself. I believe I know I can accomplish anything I want.
Sep 15, 2009
 hi
by: Anonymous

hey good luck with your baby i don't know u but when i read your story i feel like i kinda do
Sep 17, 2009
 Hi
by: Louise1

really ? do you have your own page here on this site ? maybe you tell me a bit more about urself ?

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